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need advice/thoughts on his masturbation
I have been with my husband for 10 years, only married for about 6 months. Since we have been married, anytime i have walked in on him masturbating it gives me wicked anxiety. It only happens when he is watching porn or looking at nude photos. I have no idea why it bothers me so much because i have no problem with him doing it, i do it as well. I also watch porn, we watch porn together and we both masturbate infront of each other and it is a turn on for me.
My head knows there is nothing wrong and its completely normal and that he looks at it as a tool to help him finish but my heart feels otherwise. I cant seem to understand why this happens and now because i truly dont have a problem with it. He has never cheated or givien me a reason to fee this way.
I really want to get to the bottom of my problem because i dont want it to affect my relationship and im tired of having the anxiety attacks. Any thoughts or feedback would be greatly appreciated because i have no one eles to ask.
Re: need advice/thoughts on his masturbation
I admit that I masturbate many nights and that I have some anxiety of H walking in on me. Though it's happened only once and ended VERY well for both of us.
Maybe if you walk in on him, give him a wicked smile and offer to help? You both get the satisfaction and you don't have to worry.
Have you ever walked in on him masturbating before you were married?
Is your sex life where you want it to be besides this?
Everything else good in your relationship?
Is his masturbating affecting your sex life with him? (is he abel to achieve orgasm regularly, does he get in the mood with you as normal, etc?) as long as it doen't affect your relationship/sex life I wouldn't be too anxious. I used to be very angry and upset with my husband for masturbating daily because he wasn't interested in me. Nothing I did got him in the mood and he never achieved an orgasm becuase he was so used to his hand. I almost cancelled our wedding because of it. Anyhow, problem is fixed now... he still does it occasionally which I don't mind (it's only natural) but as long as it's not adversly affecting our sex life and relationship I'm okay with it.
i never really walked in on him in the past, we use to have very little sex because im on the pill and it has given me a very low sex drive. When i do walk in on him its usually when hes done & i would get really upset because back then i didnt masturabate and thought that he didnt find me attractive or his ideal woman. But we talked and he made me relieze that he needed to because we werent doing it often and told me to try masturbating myself.
Our relationship is really good and we have been having sex more often, trying new things (me masturbating has helped my sex drive a lot) and he only does it when im not in the mood. I dont know if it goes back to me thinking that he does it to his "ideal female body" or if i think hes going to think of them while with me. He said that he while with me its with me and that hes sorry but he cant get off to just thinking about me all the time. i just dont understand why i think this, i have pretty good self esteem and self confidence but i cant shake it.
It's amazing how often posters here inadvertantly answer their own problems.
If he started to masturbate in front of you when, as you admit, you were not having much sex for whatever reason then it's hardly surprising that you feel anxious when he does it now. Deep inside you probably feel that you are still not satisfying his needs.....
Re-read your last paragraph because it's all there with solutions.