Oklahoma Nesties
Dannyand Allison
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hypothetical situtation
What if you were a mother/responsible/sister to an 11-12 year old boy who had a crush on a 16 year old girl who initiates texts and emails. One of the texts from her says, "I love you baby." Would you be creeped out that a 16 year old girl was "in like" with an 11 almost 12 year old boy?
If not creeped out, would your opinion change if you found out both of them were sneaking out of class to make out? He sneaks out of middle school and she sneaks out of high school?
How would you approach the situation? Would you let it go? Contact the school? Talk to him/her/them? Pat him on the back?
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Re: Hypothetical situtation
I'd definitely be creeped out. That's too big of an age difference in my book for their developmental ages. 22 and 26? No biggie. 32 and 36? Sounds great! 12 and 16? No way.
Whether I would talk to the kids would depend on my relationship to the people. I'd definitely talk to both sets of parents and inform the schools if they're sneaking out. I'd also check on whether or not I'd be required to report this to child protective services. In Indiana, at least, I DID have to report a sexual relationship (no intercourse but making out) between a 10 year old girl and a 16 year old boy, because he was over the age of consent and she was below it. I wonder if this is any different.
I realize this would make me by far the most uncool person in the world to these two kids (like if it was a neice or nephew or something), but so what. Being a grownup sucks some times because you do have to make unpopular choices.
First, none of my children will have phones with texting capabilities at the age of 11/12. I seriously have read too many article of kids sending naked pics or sexting and really there is no need for some 11 year old to text (can you tell I'm not much of a texter myself)
Secondly, I would definitely inform the school of what is going on. I would think the 16 year old would have some type of issue if he/she is finding an 11 attractive and counseling would be needed.
I totally agree. When I was 16, I was looking at 16/17/18 year old boys - definitely NOT 11/12 year old boys. One, our kiddos will NOT have cell phones that early...if they do, it'll only be to call us and won't have texting or Internet capabilities. Two, if something like that was going on, and I knew at least one of the parties well enough, I'd sit down and have a serious chat. And talk to the school, too...I can't believe they're getting away with skipping school.
Something sounds fishy with that one...
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I don't think it's appropriate for a 11-12 year old to have a phone that has internet and text capabilities. De-activate the texting on the phone immediately. It is VERY inappropriate for he and this girl to be corresponding, let alone skipping school to "make out". I would not be surprised in the LEAST if that is not the only thing going on.
I certainly wouldn't want to be a grandmother to my 11-12 year old son's child...so I'd be putting my foot down about boundaries, notifying the schools that this is going on, and getting in contact with the girl's parents. If the girls' parents are of no help, I would be looking to the administration of the school to watch him during the day, and the mother/guardian/sister is responsible the rest of the time away from school.
This boy needs to be in an extracurricular activity to get his mind off of texting/sexting with this girl. God knows what's going on that he isn't willing to tell you. Twelve year olds these days are NOT innocent--I wouldn't let myself be fooled by the fact that there are probably several of his friends that are already sexually active. (One of my friends lost her virginity at 12, she is a very good person and had great parental involvement--it can happen to anyone!).
The 11-12 year old boy is just enjoying the attention and likes getting a taste of what it's like to be hit up by an older girl. He needs plenty of other things to focus on, and quickly.
No they are not. This reminds me--I know of an 8th grader who was sexting with different boys. The sexting involved naked and partially naked pics...WTF.
agreed. My sister had friend who got pregnant at 12 or 13. So far from okay in my book.
I think the 12 year old and 16 year old relationship is not okay too. My 12 year old (or even 16 year old most likely) will either not have a cell phone at all or if he/she does the phone will not be able to do much other than call me!
I really don't see what a 16 year old girl sees in a 12 year old boy either!
you always make me smile
wishing you hypothetical luck!