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Baby Shower - WWYD?
So as I indicated in another post my MOH, T, is pregnant. I want to do a baby shower for her. I called T's MIL yesterday to find out if she had anything planned since T is rather close to her MIL. When I talked to the MIL she said nothing had been brought up and was very cranky about the whole subject. She said she wasn't planning on having the shower until mid-March (baby due April 21) because if something happened to the baby she didn't want people to get hard feelings. She also said that she wasn't going to get invitations out until 2 weeks(!) before the shower saying "no one likes to go to a shower and only 10 people will show up anyway."
My thought was to get the invitations out a month prior to the shower (because I'm a planner and weekend book up fast) and have the shower in February (just in case she does have the baby early). I haven't talked to T yet. I wanted to get some feedback from you ladies first.
So two questions for you:
- Would you prefer an earlier baby shower so you had time to put things away with plenty of time before baby came?
- What would you prefer for notice of the shower? One month or two weeks?
Shmel's Blog
Re: Baby Shower - WWYD?
1. I've always attended showers a month-month and a half before the event. I guess either one could be done, but the thing is you need time to book the venue for this. 2 weeks isn't gong to be enough time to get everything (venue, payment in full, registry made, games/meals planned, cake baked) worked out.
2. A month. 2 weeks isn't enough time to plan for people (like me, LOL) who know a lot of people and/or have big families, and will need enough notice to keep the date free. Others will need time to buy their gifts; say if they get an invite and don't get paid for another 2 weeks. KWIM?
1. I would prefer something 2-3 months out from the due date. Not only to put stuff away but also because what if you end up on bed rest and aren't supposed to be up that last month. There's a lot of factors there that would make me want to have it earlier.
2. One month. At 2 weeks out people may already have plans. At one month I have no idea what is going on and can set that date aside.
This.
I would also worry about having a harder time doing things with a bigger belly. And I think that you are pretty safe 2 to 3 months out from having anything happen. I dont know the percentages, but I am sure that they are pretty low.
And to assume that no one wants to go, and therefore making it difficult for anyone who does want to go to plan to go is rude in my opinion, and kind of hurtful to the mom to be.
1. I prefer 2-3 months before baby is due cause like the girls said you never know what's going to come up and this way you can put things away slowly day by day
2. Definately at least a months notice especially if it's going to be a weekend shower
DX: MFI
Taking a break from being poked and prodded
I would say have the shower like first weekend of march (at least its more of a compromise? But I agree waiting too long wouldn't be great in case she does go early.
As far as notice...the more the better I think! I think a month would be minimum but that might be because I am pretty busy and book fast!
1. I would prefer a earlier shower. that way you have time to get the things you dont have that you will need.
2. I would think a month notice would be better. I mean i agree with you i am a planner and weekends do fill up super fast.
my read shelf:
1. Would totally prefer an earlier shower. I went to a friend's shower who had another friend there who was due in like 3 weeks. She looked humongous and miserable, and I think she was glad to not be the center of attention!
2. Isn't a month normal? Two weeks is practically nothing. Sorry MIL, you lose.
1. I say at least a month and a half before the baby is due, I agree with other ppl, she could be on bed rest, the baby could come early, and you want her to be comfortable and to still be able to have a good time. (As for the MIL's reasoning I think that after 5 or 6 months the chances of loosing your baby have decreased greatly so I don't think guests would be worried about that , or have hard feelings if something were to happen)
2. Two weeks notice is crazy, you will really only get 10 people...if your lucky! I agree the more notice the better, I say at LEAST a months notice.
Thanks for all your opinions! Keep 'em coming
Glad to know I'm not the only one that thinks 2 weeks notice is BS!
Shmel's Blog
1. I would definitely want an earlier baby shower, not only to put things away before the baby comes, but also so I could buy needed items that weren't purchased/given at the shower. My MOH just had a shower on Nov. 27th and her due date is Feb. 10th.
2. More than 2 weeks notice is required in my opinion. For my MOH we only got a 2 week notice and the shower was on Thanksgiving weekend! I knew right away she wasn't going to have many people show up because of the short notice and the holiday. To me it seems like it was a last minute thing, trying to get it done before the holidays.
This, exactly. Also, people need time to buy the gift. I think that was mentioned in a previous post but 2 weeks is no where near enough notice to give folks. What if they want to get something monogrammed? There wouldn't be enough time at all. I would mail the invitations out at least a month in advance.
Why is the MIL so sour anyway?
2. I just think it's impolite for any sort of party to give less than a month's notice....
What I'm getting from your convo with MIL is that maybe she doesn't want to have a shower at all? Some families are superstitious about having them, do you think that's the case? But as long as you know your friend would want one, then give her what she wants. I just hope MIL doesn't make it difficult for you - it's so nice of you to help plan this, and you don't deserve her attitude! Good luck!
The MIL planned T's bridal shower. I didn't have any involvement. T told me that she didn't want one so I didn't plan one. Maybe MIL has some animosity towards me for that.
Shmel's Blog
1. I would want a shower probably 2 months before due date.
2. I think invites should go out a month beforehand... 2 weeks is getting crazy! And there needs to be time for RSVPs.
Oh boy, MIL sounds difficult. Baby showers are fun. I have a couple to attend soon!
Danielle
Could be? If so, that's pretty petty, so I hope not. Sorry she's being such a PITA.