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Why can't my IL's just pick names?

So here's how the holidays usually go for us: My dad's family lives all over NY so we just send each cards.  My moms side is all local and we pick names and exchange gifts on Christmas Eve at my grandparents.  So that's 2 gifts for my side. DH's family is a freakin free for all and its soooo frustrating!!  I've asked every year for god knows how long if we can pick names for the kids.  I'll get a "Yeah, that's a good idea" from a few of DH's sisters and then nothing ever happens.  Its so overwhelming to have to buy for 10 kids, from ages 2-17 besides.  So every year we end up getting cheap gifts b/c that's the only way we can afford to get everybody.  I don't know, its either get what we can afford or get nothing at all.  And all of his sisters spend different amts too, one buys pj's every year for all the kids, one buys a toy and an outfit for every kid, one does all the kids stockings, there's no rhyme or reason to it at all.  I really don't know what the solution is but so far I'm going to Kohls again this year to find...something for each of these guys.  Ahhh, in laws!

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Re: Why can't my IL's just pick names?

  • ugh! i'm sorry, that is such a pain in the arse! thankfully, my ILs are jewish and we don't really exchange gifts with them at the holidays. in my family, i really only do gifts for my mom, gram, and one of my uncles who is always very generous to us.

    what about doing some homemade gifts for the kids & adults? still an investment of time & money but less expensive and hopefully easier than choosing gifts for that many people. 

    for kids: Hot Cocoa Mix (i did this for co-workers one year, it was a big hit) and a mug or most of the ingredients for cookies they can make?

    for adults: homemade Irish Cream (another hit with  my old co-workers) or a sugar scrub

    cookie mix: http://www.bakerella.com/mix-things-up/

    you could also play the "we just bought a house & had a baby, gifts for everyone are just not an option for us this year" card and we can really only do very small gifts for the kids. perhaps a good way to scale back for the coming years.


     

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  • I was finally able to convince DH's family to pick names this year, and it's sooo much better!  We had the same situation.  10 kids ranging from 1-17, except they spend A LOT of money on these kids.  Not gonna lie: these kids are seriously spoiled.  They get whatever they want, whenever they want it, so they never want/need anything for Christmas.  I always bought gift cards every year.  DH's siblings finally realized that it was ridiculous, and we picked names. One nice gift per child.  

    Keep pushing the idea!  It will work out eventually!   

  • Sounds like my IL's.  I have been pushing for this for adult gifts for a few years as well.  My MIL does not like the idea, one SIL does, the other just wants to buy for the kids.   There are only 5 kids in DH"s family (Elijah, plus my 2 sil's 4 total).  But I know they have more kids on their husbands sides to buy for.

    So last year, my MIL and SIL said they did not have the money to buy gifts, and did not expect us to buy either.  That was great because money was tight here too.  So, on Xmas, one SIL bought us gifts (small, but still) and I felt like an A$$ for having nothing to give back.

    I tried again this year, and got the same response, so I bought nothing.  I may just do up the homemade goodies and give. 

    If you have the time, I would def. go the home made route.  My homemade goodies this year have been

    No Sew Blankets (Super easy) and mostly inexpensive if you get the Fleece on Sale (joanns had it 50% off last wk).

    Cookies, chocolate and possibly Irish Creme. 

     

    Good Luck!

  • Sadly I have to say it is my family that needs to do this there are 18 kids and 1 on the way that we buy for. The adults get home made treat baskets and this year all the girls over 4 got no sew blankets and we set a price limit on all other gifts. I am going to think about home made gifts for boy for next year i couldn't figure anything out this year. I wish they picked names but this will never happen!
  • Some people really like giving and I'm sure that whatever you can afford is perfectly fine. Who cares if you spend 5.00 or 50.00 on each child.  It is the thought that counts. 
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