August 2009 Weddings
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birthmas update

So the coordinator emailed me back, it's really not that expensive they have a holiday special going on.

However, Sean says he doesn't want to celebrate his birthday or christmas this year. I told him the gift was amazing, he says he doesn't care, he doesn't want to celebrate at all. So I'm not sure if it's a good idea to spend the money and have him be upset. 

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Re: birthmas update

  • In that case, maybe option 1 would be better and you could keep it just you two and a couple of his closest friends or family.  You guys deserve some VIP treatment and to do something fun.  Tell him it will be small with just a couple close friends and awesome and hopefully he'll come around.
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  • I have a boss that always says that we have birthday's to celebrate the day you were born because we care about you and love that you are in our life.  It has to be hard to want to celebrate after everything that happened with you guys. 

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  • I think a lot of people say they don't want to celebrate or do anything, but in reality they would really like it. However, in Sean's case, he might be telling the truth. Maybe making plans for a night in just the 2 of you would be much better this year.
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  • If it were me and my husband, I'd still do it. My husband might say something like that, but would still be thrilled at the surprise. Obviously you know your husband best, but I just can't imagine someone being upset by that surprise unless there were legit serious financial concerns on which he based his statement.
  • Just a view from the flip side: My H and I did get into a fight this year over his birthday; I made more of it than he wanted me to and we ended up blowing up at each other. I overdid it and he was upset.

    In our case, my H hates his birthday, full stop. In your case, though, you might want to float your option one idea to Sean to see how he responds. If it's still no, I'd say listen to him. He may feel up to it next year again, but if all he wants is to be with you and for you guys to take comfort in each other, that might be the best route.

  • I talked to him about the first option, and he still didn't want to. So I think maybe we'll do something for his 1/2 birthday next June. He wants to change the triplet storage room into an office instead of doing something for his birthday, so it looks like I get to buy new furniture instead. Little does he know that I love buying furniture!

     

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