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why do I do xmas?
Last week was finals. In the middle of it my mother-in-law starts sending me pissy emails about updating the Amazon wishlists (which I put there for my own use and she tracked down on her own). Then I get an angry email because Mr M's uncles bought us something off it we already had. Oh, how did Mr M's uncles find the list? Yeah. And she's only up my butt about it because Mr M dodges her calls and emails.
I'm not really feeling the Xmas spirit here.
I asked my mom to watch Dimi for a little this morning because I have 8,500 little pop-in-and-out shopping trips that are hell when you're dragging a baby around. She agrees and comes into town with my sister -- who has a raging case of bitchery -- and the puppy. The puppy, if you remember, they call Buddy, swaddle at night, and were really, deeply offended when I asked about obedience training. The puppy who they swear up and down is perfectly potty trained. (Surprise coming!)
The puppy who pissed all over the living room, tracking it about with his cute little puppy paws.
The puppy who then got into Dimi's bin and started eating his stuffed animals.
Dimi, who started screaming his head off and clinging to me as if I were the only thing holding him out of the abyss.
My mom starts dithering about how it's going to be stressful for Dimi if I leave. So she decides they should come with me and just wait in the car. Including the puppy.
Yeah. Except Dimi is usually running around this time of day and so they decide to come in with me. Not including the puppy.
My sister keeps wandering off aimlessly so half of every trip is spent finding her so we can leave. My mom seems to think other people will keep an eye out for Dimi so it's not like she needs to hold his hand or keep him from running down the aisle. That's when my eye started twitching.
2 hours later we come back home and I've managed to buy 3 things from my list. Then I find out that Jo just wiped up the piss and didn't actually get out soap or water. I try my best to thank them for all their help. My mom says it's probably better that I didn't get to all the stores because they're so crowded during the day. I don't slam the door behind her.
I open up my email and find another bitchy email from MIL.
I AM NOT CHRISTIAN WHY THE FVCK DO I CELEBRATE THIS MISERABLE HOLIDAY???
My eye is still twitching.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
Re: why do I do xmas?
I would be tempted to set them all on fire. But I imagine that, much like opting out of Christmas, would bring even more trouble on you.
I'm sorry the holidays turn everyone into such hosebeasts. If I lived nearby, I'd come hang with Dimi for you so you could get something done.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
That sounds like a very shiity day.
Maybe you do need to reconsider doing it if it is this stressful. You don't need it.
You do need a drink. I would totally split a bottle of lambic with you right now if I was there.
I am currently trying to sell Mr M on my brilliant "really big New Year's instead" plan. He's not buying it. But really, all the crowds would be gone. Better sales. It's still festive. You can still exchange gifts and eat a ridiculous amount of food. But, no.
Tatortot, I don't have a regular sitter who isn't friends or family. I might need to do something about that.
Really, it almost seems kind of funny. Funny uh-oh. Not funny ha-ha. Still, funny? Maybe?
::clings to illusion of sanity and mirth::
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
Tell Mr. M he has to buy it.
You need a sitter, non family or friend. mouse, you are an amazing mom. I saw how you itneract with your kids and it is so sweet and they adore you. but you are exhausting yourself and you need some you time. I don't think you get enough of that.
And yes, I think you can laugh over this. but only while drunk.