Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need your T&P please (sorry so long)
Sorry this is going to be long, but I need to vent really bad.
My cousin just wrote me on Facebook and said our grandparents are starting to get worse health wise.
Just some background: My grandfather used to be a heavy drinker and still smokes and is now having seizures. He depends 100% on my grandmother and, unfortunately, she now has the beginning stages of Alzheimers. All of us cousins and my aunt (my dad's sister) have all commented on how her short term memory is really really bad, but just the other day, a neighbor found my grandma in his living room! It seems there was an old friend of hers who used to live there and they would sit and talk so we think grandma thought the woman was still there but she hasn't been for years. Thank God it was someplace she knew and the man knew her and was able to get her back home, but it scares me to know that now it has gone from bad memory to wandering.
The thing that really grinds my gears is that my dad is so ashamed of what he did to my mom that he hasn't called his parents in months. My grandma is fully aware of what is going on with my parents because she talks to my mom all the time about it (she will forget details or repeat herself, but she is aware). My brother said he will talk to dad and I'm glad because that really ticks me off!
I just need your T&P's to get through this because we all know it's going to get worse, but it still hits you like a ton of bricks when you actually realize that it's getting worse. I'm going to talk to my aunt today about possibly getting grandma a medical alert bracelet that says she has Alzheimers. Also, I will take any advice or tips on what to do because right now I feel so helpless and it doesn't help they are across the country from me.
If you read all of this, you deserve a cookie!
Re: Need your T&P please (sorry so long)
oooh! Cookie!
I'm sorry this is happening in your family. I'm understand the role Alzheimer's plays into a family, too (Grandma had it and upon my mother's death said a lot of hurtful things having confused my mom with someone else - she also thought I was my dad's new GF). It basically sucks. I think it's a great start that your brother will be talking to your dad.
You have my T&P.
I get the cookie too.
I'm so sorry. That is really awful. I hope that your dad can suck it up and contact his parents and help care for them because they obviously need the help. T&P to you and your family.
I love cookies!
I am so sorry that you have to go through this right now. Keep us updated on the situation, lots of T&P your way!
GO! St. Louis Half Marathon-2:32:13
Omaha Half Marathon 9.23.12
I'm so sorry. My grandma has Alzheimer's that has recently been getting worse. She plateaued for a while; now it seems she's going down another slope. We're just waiting for the next even out. We had to move her to assisted living in July and it's probably the best decision we ever made; we didn't realize how much she really couldn't handle until people were looking out for her 24 hours a day. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but just a thought to keep in the back of your head. (Especially since most Assisted Livings will take couples)
Thanks for the cookie, and feel free to message me if you need to vent any more -- I completely understand what you're going through!
Thanks ladies. I'll try not to eat all the cookies next time :-)
Denim, I do want to ask my aunt what she thinks about assisted living. She works for Social Security so I'm sure she knows the ropes around the government better than I do but I also know that is the only thing that is going to help them is to have someone watching over them.
I like cookies too!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I had essentially the same situtation as Denim with my grandmother. It was super hard to decide to move her into assisted living, but it was so much better for her and it was exactly what she needed. The peace of mind knowing she was safe was hugely helpful for us too.
Good luck and I'll be thinking of you and your family!
My grandmother had Alzheimer's and it's hard. I took care of her for a few years (along with my mom, brother and uncles). Here's my advice:
1. If possible, have a pow-wow with relatives and fill them in on what's happening. You might get some relatives gung-ho to help and find them all of a sudden pull a disappearing act when it's time.
2. If your grandparents have insurance, check to see if hospice or home health care will cover. A home nurse might come in handy.
3. Your dad needs to just let go and be there for you and your grandparents/his parents. Right now, that's the most important issue than anything he's done. They have a short time left and he's going to seriously regret not being there for them in the final moments. Talk to him and just hear him out. He might have his own reasons that he's never told anyone.