Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
FIL is CRAZY...how do I handle this?
I'll try to be brief on this...
My FIL is nuts and he drives me nuts. My DH has his own business and this past year we had some financial bumps in the road. We are in the unfortunate position of almost losing our house. The area we lived in was very economically challenged so we moved back to the area DH grew up in to start over. We vacated the house and put it up for sale. Luckily for us, one of DH's family members had a property for rent and is letting us stay there for free until we are able to move/buy a new house/etc. FIL maintains this property for the elderly family member.
Here is the fun part...My FIL will stop over all the time...unannounced, and uninvited. He walks right into the house and never knocks. He will sit down and jabberjaw about the same things day after day. It is seriously like Groundhog Day. He also has reason to stop at my job most days because we are in a similar business. So I see him EVERY day and now DH and I have no privacy whatsoever.
How do I deal with this? One day (after his usual Kramer like entrance) my DH said to him "Don't you ever knock?". He acted like he didnt' even hear him.
Re: FIL is CRAZY...how do I handle this?
Ask him to call before coming over. When he comes over w/o calling, ask him to leave.
He does this because you haven't forced him to stop. Making him leave, or not letting in through the door a time or two should be enough to put an end to this behavior.
MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
Apparently it isn't very lucky for you that this property is available. It's available with strings. Where is your DH in all of this? It sounds like he's being very passive about confronting his father and setting up boundaries.
This is why it's probably a good idea to get out of there ASAP. Sign a lease with someone that can be enforced. If you choose to stay at this property, you need to set boundaries with FIL. Change the locks, stop letting him.
Normally I'd ask why you don't just lock the door, and either not answer it when he shows up or just say, "Now's not a good time. In the future, please call us if you want to drop by." And if he had a key to your home and would've let himself in, I would've suggested that you take it from him, and/or change the locks.
Does your FIL own the property at all? If not, I would personally talk to whoever DOES own the home and ask if you can change the locks ... that way, mif your FIL stops by unannounced, you can just crack the door and say, "Sorry, this isn't a good time." Or just not answer the door at all. But if the property owner has asked your FIL to keep the place in order, then I doubt that'll happen.
I don't think your FIL necessarily sounds nuts (not from this situation, anyway). Yeah, maybe he's clueless and has bad manners, but it doesn't seem nuts for him to want to spend time with his family. However, have you guys set any boundaries with him? "Don't you ever knock?" can easily be taken as a joke - and your FIL can easily ignore it because there's no consequences (i.e., your husband showing him out the door). Your husband needs to say to him, point-blank, "Dad, we like spending time with you, but you can't just drop in unannounced. From now on, you need to call us ahead of time if you'd like to stop by. We can't just host you on a whim like this." Try this blunt approach first and see if it works.
In the meantime, I would try your hardest to get back on your feet and get your own place. You are entitled to your privacy, but it's a tricky situation when you're at the mercy of family members putting you up. If they're being kind enough to help you guys out, then you're going to have to compromise your privacy sometimes in return.
Trust me, this has crossed my mind! However, this is the same man who has previously bought me lingerie for Christmas. LOL!
The door now remains locked at all times...this is soo stupid. Most adults would take the first hint by DH and if not you could ask them for a certain degree of privacy without them freaking out.
WHAT?!
You mean a flannel nightie or some pajamas, right?
Does he have keys for this property? If NOT then LOCK THE DOOR. If so.... you need to actively be looking for somewhere else to stay.
And your H needs to grow a set and say YOU NEED TO KNOCK and CALL before you come over. AND make sure it is not ingest.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
HA!
In jest. Two words. Ingest is something else entirely.
Happy, the best dog ever. ~February 1998 - July 22, 2012
I am "deaf-initely" one of a kind.
Follow me on Pinterest
Wow. Get a dead bolt that can not be unlock from the outside and install it today. More if there is more doors with access to the house. Then tell FIL if he comes in without calling/knocking/waiting for your to open up the door, he is getting a baseball bat to the head.
For some reason this reeks of that Bree from Desperate Housewives plot from last week.
Check us out