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I called the cops on my sister...(advice please)

      The other night my husband had some friends over for his birthday. I got home about an hour after most everyone had arrived. My sister was cold and asked me for a blanket I told her we didn't have any throws, but I offered her a jacket and suggested she move away from the open door. That wasn't good enough and she went on a rant about how I act different around my friends, and how I'm so rude for not giving her a blanket. Anyway we started arguing and I told her to leave. She wouldn't, so I called the police and had them make her leave. When she left she told me not to call her even if I was on my death bed.

    My sister has always thrived on chaos. She is always upset with her significant other for nothing and belittles her in front of others. She is very loud and, for lack of a better word, ghetto. My mom witnessed the whole thing and has no hard feelings toward me for calling the police. I feel bad because she is my sister but I won't be disrespected in my home. My question is should I call and try to talk to her and smooth it out or just let the pieces fall as they may and wait for her to apologize? TIA

Re: I called the cops on my sister...(advice please)

  • If I were your sister, I would never want to talk to you again either.

    If I were you, I wouldn't care if somebody I disliked so much I would call the cops on them was pissed at me.

    It sounds like you both thrive on drama. 

    Do nothing, stay away from her, the end. 

    YWIA. 

  • Not only could I not imagine calling the cops on my sister in a situation like this, I couldn't imagine wasting the police's time on something like this.

     

     

  • imagePiggynKermit:

        She is very loud and, for lack of a better word, ghetto.

    Calling the cops because you are having an argument with your sister is, for lack of a better word, ghetto.
  • imageMKESweetie:

    If I were your sister, I would never want to talk to you again either.

    If I were you, I wouldn't care if somebody I disliked so much I would call the cops on them was pissed at me.

    It sounds like you both thrive on drama. 

    Do nothing, stay away from her, the end. 

    This. 

    imageimageimage
  • I would not call her.
    Blog: Not to be Koi

    Sara, Friend?
    image
    glove slap. I don't take crap.
  • This was not a simple argument it was a screaming, cursing, pushing type of situation. I am not an arguer. I'm very easy going and calm. I under no circumstances will let anyone speak to me the way she did, sister or not in my home. She didn't even get arrested. I fully expected her to leave before the police got to the house. I don't dislike her I love her very much.
  • Sheesh -- the cops were not warranted. Damn right she's probably pissed at you and maybe for good.

     

  • Having been in this same situation on several occasions with one of my sisters, I fully understand calling the police and am sorry you were driven to it. I've had my sister stand in my living room screaming obscenities and shouting at me, my children, my dh, refusing to leave, spewing whatever invective she can, refusing to leave (YOU CAN"T MAKE  ME I"LL STAYHERE TILL I FEEL LIKE LEAVING) and continuing to shout and scream for an hour or more. 

    No, I never called the police. Didn't occur to me. I have not spoken to her except at family events over the past six years, and it is really, really nice not to have that drama in my life. If your situation is anything like mine, you have my complete sympathy.  

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • And do nothing. She owes you an apology; you won't get it. So. Let her be; she needs time to call off, obviously. 
    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • imagecasmgn:
    imagePiggynKermit:

        She is very loud and, for lack of a better word, ghetto.

    Calling the cops because you are having an argument with your sister is, for lack of a better word, ghetto.

    This.

  • imagePiggynKermit:
    This was not a simple argument it was a screaming, cursing, pushing type of situation. I am not an arguer. I'm very easy going and calm. I under no circumstances will let anyone speak to me the way she did, sister or not in my home. She didn't even get arrested. I fully expected her to leave before the police got to the house. I don't dislike her I love her very much.

    You called the cops on her. Surely you didn't expect her to just be fine with that, right?

    Leave her alone. If she's that good of a sister, she'll get over it in her own time and reach out to you. If that's not the case, it's probably best she's not involved in your life. 

     

  • I really hope no one in the neighborhood REALLY needed  some police assistance!


  • imagemagsugar13:
    I really hope no one in the neighborhood REALLY needed  some police assistance!

    Yep, the police are not your own personal bouncers.

  • I think you're better off without the drama of your sister in your life.

    No, I would not call her.  You set a boundry, "nobody can disrespect me in my own home, if they don't, they must leave, if they don't leave, I will make them leave."

    Do you want to turn around and tell your sister that YOU are sorry, you love her very much, and you were wrong to call the cops - she can shove you and curse you all she wants?  If yes, phone her.  If not, leave her alone. 

    The cops coming were a consequence to her actions.  You might love her very much, but the best thing you can do for your relationship is to keep a distance from her.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • I don't think you have anything to apologize for. She showed you disrespect in your house, yelled and screamed at you and made a mountain out of a mole hill, something so trivial as a friggin' blanket.

    Don't call her.  She will eventually get over it.  She may owe you an apology but you may not get it right away.  I'm sure she's going to need time to cool off and get over the fact that you called five-oh on her, not to mention get over the embarassment of making a drunken azz out of herself. Give her some time and let things go, for now.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • You wouldn't give your sister a blanket?  Seriously?  You sound like a very rude host.
  • Why did you invite her over to your house in the first place?
    image
  • you should've thought about the reprocussions of your actions before you called the cops. now you have to accept that she may never want to talk to you again. thank yourself for the situation. she wasn't in the right either but you have a CHOICE to argue or not-or to let it escalate or not. you chose to do both.
    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • You guys both sound pretty dramatic. I think that you went too far calling the police- unless you fear for your safety or somebody else's physical well-being I would have just left the room.

    I think you should tell her that you lost your temper and know you went too far, but at the same time she really hurt you when she didn't respect your wishes. Then let it sit for a few weeks. I think it will blow over and you guys can get past that- but really you both need to be a little bit less dramatic and grow up.

    In my experience, the best way to do this is by being the bigger person and setting the example- but at the end of the day, maybe being around the "ghetto" sister isn't the best idea right now. 

    Me-27- DH- 38 -Moved to New York* TTC since August 2011, unexplained IF & PCOS HSG - both tubes clear Saline Ultrasound- clear SA- Normal January 2013- Started metformin 1500mg attempting micro IVF 2/8/2013 2/8/2013 Cycle- ganirelix, menopur, gonal F 3/3/2013- ER- 7 Eggs 3/4/2013- All 7 fertilize 3/8- ET
  • imagecasmgn:
    imagePiggynKermit:

        She is very loud and, for lack of a better word, ghetto.

    Calling the cops because you are having an argument with your sister is, for lack of a better word, ghetto.

    Exactly.

    image
  • Honey, I know exactly where you are coming from.  I have a sister who can be very angry/mean/"hands on", while I am quite the non-violent type.  If your sister posed some type of physical threat, darn right you had good reason to call the police, I'd have done the same thing. 

    I'd like to say, "this too shall pass", but, for me and my sister, that never came to be.  Sometimes, we need room in our lives....I think that is what you both need.  Room and time without one another...one day (hopefully) gravity will pull you back together, if not, that's a reality you'll both live with.

    Good luck to you!

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