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My sex drive has been on a 7 month vacation... Help?
Seriously. Since our daughter has been born, my sex drive is MIA. There is no coaxing it out of hiding, no matter how hard my hubs or I try. Absolutely GONE! To the point where even smooching is something I have no physical desire to do. I am going absolutely nuts because I want to physically feel something, anything, for him. Mentally, I want him more than anything, but the signal isn't getting to my lady bits. Yes, I am still attracted to him, and he is crazy about me, as well as I'm happy with how I look after the pregnancy, so there's nothing obstructing me in the self-image department. I'm really not that exhausted, so I exed out that idea, no BC on my end so it's not that, I'm just out of ideas. Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be a problem...
I'm to the point where I have no idea what to do anymore. I want it, the hubs wants it, and I force myself to at least have sex and/or do favors for the hubs at least once a week to not punish him for my issues for too long, but it's just not the same for either of us. We've tried new things to try to spark something, we've tried taking it slow with tons of fore-play, we've tried just going at it, nothing works, NO physical feeling, which even makes forcing it super difficult.
I know it's putting a strain on our marriage, and I want to fix it. We (orignially) wanted to start TTC in about 6 months, but would love to have a REAL sex life prior to another pregnancy, so unless this problem can be solved real soon, another baby will have to be put on hold also, as our marriage is obviously #1.
Any thoughts, ladies with similar problems, or suggestions? Please?
TIA!
Re: My sex drive has been on a 7 month vacation... Help?
I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.
I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference.
I just chocked on my oreo.... HAHAHAHAH!
Nice, Daisy. Real nice.
Full and complete medical checkup for you. You've just borne a child; not uncommon for your hormones to be out of flux and also get your thyroid checked. Not uncommon to develop thyroid problems during/right after pregnancy. gl.
Good to know I'm not alone on the issue. I tried "not trying" for the first 3-4 months of it, and that seemed to only make it worse. So that's when I started "trying" again, and it's not getting any better. I still feel very connected to him, but completey agree it could be a mental thing that I just haven't noticed. I'm glad things are working out better for you and your hubs. Congrats on baby #2!
Thank you, I'll talk to my OB about it when I see him next week.
I think you quoted the wrong person.
Your body will produce prolactin to cause you to be able to breastfeed. A side effect of prolactin is to reduce sex drive and suppress ovulation. Evolutionarily, this will cause the mother to "settle down" (not try to get pregnant again) and focus on the newborn. Once the infant is more independent and stops consuming breast milk, the prolactin level drops, the milk supply dries up and normal menses will resume.
Sometimes your prolactin level will remain high. If you are no longer breastfeeding, you can talk to your doctor about medications that will stop prolactin production.