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Annoyed!
okay, I promise I'm not a mean person and being as we all just got married I understand budgets, guest lists, etc. but I have to vent about this because for some reason it just rubs me the wrong way.
So a family friend of DH is getting married 1-1-11. They got engaged in October and didn't tell anyone when they were planning on having the wedding. Okay for one thing, that's a super fast wedding to plan, but 2 if you're going to do it on a Holiday weekend let people know in advance please (I'm not judging the holiday weekend part--my wedding was July 3rd).
He's the part(s) that just really make me mad. We got the invitation the day before Thanksgiving--so a month before the wedding. I had been planning on taking DH out of town to celebrate New Years Eve (about a 5 hour drive and a lot of friends going) but he really wants to go to the wedding since their families were close growing up. I get that, so I said fine, we'll stay home and go to the wedding.
It does annoy me a little bit that it's the day after New Years Eve as I tend to get a drunkty drunk on New Years and now I'm going to have to watch it since I don't have the next day to recover.
Next thing, the only people from DH's family that are invited are him and I, his dad and step-mom, and his mom. He has 2 other brothers and 1 sister (all older and 2 are married 1 in a serious relationship) Now I get you can't invite everyone and budgets are tight but even the girl getting married has said how close she was with the entire family growing up. I just don't get inviting 1 sibling but not all. Why not just invite the parents? So now I get to go to a wedding with DH and know no one but his parents which is awkward anyway because of the situation with the step-mom, etc.
Even better. I'm thinking Oh, well I'll take it easy NYE so I can have a good time at the wedding and dance. There's no dance...yeah definitely didn't see that one on the invitation. I can understand if you can't afford to have a dance, but then don't have a evening wedding and reception that goes until 8. Have an earlier wedding and do a brunch or lunch or even a cake reception. All I keep hearing from DH's step-mom is well their budget is really tight. Well here?s an idea ? don?t have it on a Holiday, I guarantee that would help their budget.
I don't know why I'm so annoyed with this who situation but I'm not looking forward to go and I'm being a big debbie downer about the whole thing and I don't even care. Thanks for reading and if you made it this far you deserve a big present from Santa!
Re: Annoyed!
I would be annoyed too - mostly at the lack of advanced notice for something on a holiday that most people plan for months in advance. But, its their decision for the wedding and if you end up going (which sounds like you will), just make the most of it. Will there at least be alcohol served even though there's no dancing? And if it ends at 8, there's nothing saying you can't go out dancing after the wedding if you really wanted to.
I mean, it stinks that you new years plans are ruined b/c they were not thoughtful in planning the wedding, but its only 1 day.
Also, if you maybe drink just a tiny bit less on New Years eve, i think you should be able to recover for an evening wedding
at least i would!
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The notice is he biggest thing I'm annoyed with. From what I understand, they knew what day they were going to have the wedding since a couple days after they got engaged. I understand not doing save-the-dates since it's so close to when the invitations went out but I would have appreciated a phone call, e-mail, hell a facebook post saying when the wedding was.
And I'm not sure if alcohol will be served or not at the reception. I was more concerned with the drinking part on NYE when I thought there was going to be a dance. Normally, in my area, the dance is a big party and I knew if I drank too much the night before I'd probably only be able to have 1 or 2 cocktails at the wedding. Now that there's no dance, I'll still be able to go and and have fun on NYE I'm just going to have to be careful on how much I drink so I'm not sick the next day (those shots get me every time!)
I specifically like wedding dances for the vibe and the music and just how everyone is there celebrating something. Personally, going to a club to go out dancing is just not the same for us. While it's fun, it's just not a wedding dance (which I could go to one every weekend that's how much fun I have!)
That would annoy the he!l outta me too.
I get wanting to get married right away, and I even get the cool date. Fine. But like you said - if they are taking a holiday, they should give more than a few weeks notice. Plus, I think holiday weekends like New Years are COMPLETELY different from July 4th, Labor Day, etc. Those holidays are usually family, get together type times - great times for a wedding. New Year's Day? Isn't that National Hangover Day? I think of it as a different type of holiday - all the more reason for more notice. ESP. since they've known for months.
I guess I'm the odd one out but I really don't see that big of a problem here
. Please don't hate me! I mean, yeah, the notice was horrible but those that they are inviting don't have to go. So, for the most part, if a potential guest already had plans for the day that they don't want to cancel on, they can just decline the invitation. And I know that in your case you are going more for your husband than anything else but just try and enjoy yourself. This couple have a great date to be married on and I am sure that the bride is looking forward to everything just as much as we all were. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and let someone else have their moment, even if you think it is strange and something that you wouldn't do yourself. I agree that things should have been handled differently but, well, they weren't and there's not much that can be done about it other than to just let it go and enjoy the day. If not, you are going to be miserable all New Year's Day and you don't really want that, right?
Sorry to be the devil's advocate here but I guess that since I was a recent bride and can't help but to defend her
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my read shelf:
Books read in 2011: 32 of 75
Um, I'm a recent bride as well. I'm not saying she can't have her moment or that the day won't be great for the couple. There were some other things said in passing with DH's step-mom that play into this but I didn't want to get into all of that since the original post was so long already. Like I said, I don't know why but it just rubs me the wrong way. I didn't say there was anything wrong with the way they are doing things but maybe I'm just thinking about all the etiquette "rules" that were shoved down our throats on the knot.
It's their wedding and they can do everything the way they want to. I would never say any of this to them as it's not relevant nor would I ever expect them to want to hear it or change anything. I know there were things that people didn't like about my wedding and how I did it and that's just fine. I just needed to get it out and vent and I thought I would be okay to come here and do that as we all vent about something at one point or another.
I think that the short notice thing definitely is pretty awful...but maybe that date has some kind of significance for her? 1-1-11 is kind of interesting at least.
Idk...I would hate to go, but when I suck it up to do those things I usually end up having a good time anyway. Maybe its cause DH usually doesn't want to go either and we drink and commiserate.
my read shelf:
I wasn't trying to start a fight or anything. Like I said, I completely understand where you are coming from. I was just trying to look at it from a different angle, that's all. I'm one who thinks that if you go into something with a negative attitude towards it, you are going to be miserable. I just wanted to try and help you see it differently so that maybe then your New Year's Day won't be completely miserable. That's all. So, sorry if you took offense to my post.
my read shelf:
Books read in 2011: 32 of 75