Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Gift Labeling Vent
So DH's family and I are not close. We see each other from time to time, usually for holidays or family birthday gatherings, but its never comfortable (picture My Big Fat Greek Wedding Family). We have been together for almost 7 years and I know I will never be comfortable enough to call them mom and dad.
However, I do the wrapping for xmas gifts, and every year I hesistate for what to write on the "to:" spot on the gift tag for them. We do gifts as a couple so I usually write mom or dad on it, but it bothers me!!
Am I alone in this? I wish I had IL's I loved like DH loves my parents!
*~ Tracy & John October 3rd 2009 ~*
Bio
Re: Gift Labeling Vent
I love my ILs but don't call them Mom and Dad. DH is not that close with my dad and does not call him dad. However, when we give gifts to any of our parents, we label them "Mom" or "Dad".
I hear ya. I'm not super close with my DH's mother either. I don't call her Mom, I call her by her first name. But I still label her gifts to: "MOM" during the holidays and on birthdays. I figure, the gift is from both DH and I-not just me. And she is his Mom. I think it'd be kind of strange for her to receive a gift from her son and not have it labeled to Mom.
I used to write "Mom Lastname" and now that we have kids I write "Grandma Firstname."
When a gift is for my mom I write, "To: Mom", "From: my name & DH's name" and when it is for his mom I write, "To: Mom", "From: DH's name & my name". That way I don't feel like I am calling her mom and it helps determine who the gift goes to.
This is what I do, too!
This!
i ran into this last weekend. i labeled dh's moms gift to first name love, us. i didn't think about it- i call her by her first name...we are really close so it's not like i did it for a reason. i was just labeling. anyway, dh pointed to it (we were sitting by her when unwrapping) and said "haha i obviously didn't write that". i was like ahh! i didn't even think to put mom on it! we all laughed but i felt bad (even if she didn't care) so, my thoughts are- just put to mom. it makes things so much easier and no one's feelings get hurt
Me too!
I adore my ILs (which is DH's bio mom and step dad) but I still call them by their first names. I have a mom and my dad has passed away, and I don't think I'll ever call his parents Mom and Dad. Still, I'll write out the labels to his parents as Mom and L and just sign it DH and me, but on mine it'll be to Mom from me and DH. (DH also calls my mom by her first name, not Mom.)
I don't think it signifies "you are my mom" but more of, as others have said, this is to DH's mom.
This is what I do, too.
To PP who say they put "Mom Lastname" this sounds strange to me... Something like "Mama Lastname" has more of a ring to it, (not suggesting a right and wrong here) but people really say "Mom Lastname"?? I'm curious if this is regional or cultural? I have never heard of this.
I really like my in-laws but I dont call them Mom and Dad as they are not my parents, when DH and I label the gifts we use their names for both sets of parents.. I dont feel wierd about it and neither does my DH.
I would never dream of calling my ILs Mom and Dad. But DH gets his family's gifts and is responsible for wrapping and addressing, so he writes Mom and Dad (or nothing at all, and just hopes he remembers which gift is for each).
They sign their cards "Mommy Salami / [first name]" "[first name] Daddy-o" on everything they give to both of us, but just by name when it's to me. So I would have no issue writing Mom or "Mom / [XXX]" if I were to wrap.
74 books read in 2011
I realize now that I think this is a bigger deal then it really is! I like the idea of writing to: mom from: me and dh for my family and to :mom from: dh and me for his family. Its funny how the order can really make it that different, at least to me mentally!
thanks girls!
I'm in the same boat with my IL. I just label their gifts using their first name. I don't feel comfortable calling them mom/dad.
Not close with my ILs either, though I at least like/respect them enough not to dread the few times we see them. So, even if we like or dislike the in-laws, the "mom and dad" labeling can be tricky.
My husband and I solve it by the to-from tags being written by the adult child (you would write labels "to: Mom and Dad from:TJT4 and Hubby" He would write "to: Mom and Dad from Hubby and TJT4"...this way the handwriting matches the adult child to the proper Mom and Dad, and the spouse is just along for the gift giving ride.
Either do this, or just use the same gift-paper for every single gift for every body present...and only write "TO" portions with their names as "Mom and Dad Lastname"
First, let me say that I love my IL's.
I write to Mom and/or Dad when addressing my DH's parents because they deserve that respect...and so does everyone else's IL's on this post.