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Seriously, today sucks. A lot.
I've been upset all afternoon but didn't want to post about it and be Debbie Downer more than I already have been. I'm sorry to unload all of this on the board but today has sucked beyond recognition and I simply need a space to vent.
I was on my way to my parent's house this afternoon to go shopping with my mom and brother because my brother needed clothes for our uncle's funeral tomorrow. I get a phone call from my best friend, "K", with awful news. Our mutual friend, "M", who we went to high school with, and I later went to college with experienced another loss in her family - her 21 year old brother committed suicide yesterday.
Do any of you have a friend that is like, the nicest person you know?
Never has a negative thing to say, never complains, always has a way of
finding the silver lining in a situation? This is 100% M.
What makes this 100x worse (as if not bad enough) is that this is my friend who lost BOTH of her biological parents to cancer when she was 12 (her little brother was 7ish). Then this week last year, her adopted dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Apparently her little brother became very depressed over the past months and as the anniversary of their dad's death came around he couldn't take it any more.
I want to send a card, flowers, something, but I am at such a loss right now. What do you even say in a situation like this? Since college we have not had much contact other than FB and then at her dad's funeral service last year so I really don't know what is appropriate. K said they are not doing any public visitation/funeral - all will be private and immediate family only.
And also - could somebody share some happy news? PLEASE? I need it right now.
Re: Seriously, today sucks. A lot.
I am so sorry KB. I can't even imagine what your friend M is going through or how to even heal from pain on top of pain like that. I think just calling in addition to sending something would be good, even if it's just to say "I don't know what to say." I know sometimes people end up not saying anything because they can't think of what to say, which ends up making the person feel lonely/isolated. Having said that, I hope you're doing okay with all this loss. It's never a good time to deal with loss, but around the holidays is especially difficult.
I don't know if this qualifies as "happy" news, but more my own relief: I'm done with Christmas shopping.
I'm doing okay. I'm a little angry at life right now for throwing so much onto one family and am sad about my uncle, but overall I'm going to be fine. I hugged my little brother extra hard this afternoon and I have lots of family around to talk to if I need them.
I wish I was done with Christmas shopping. My MIL and I were talking about this on the phone last night and as she put it, we must like the punishment of waiting til the last minute, otherwise we'd get this stuff done earlier.
KB, I'm so so sorry.
I agree with PPs that sending a note or calling - even if you just say "I don't know what to say, but I'm here."
And, if you need a good, deep belly laugh to take your mind away from all the negativity right now, I offer this: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/12/year-kenny-loggins-ruined-christmas.html
Agree with PPs -- just let her know you're there. That's really the best thing you can do right now until some time has passed.
I wish I could good things to offer up, but I'm pretty much a Debbie Downer today.
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
HomemadebyHolman
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