Does your H have access to all bank accounts? Do you?
Reading that story below made me realize that I deposit a lot of money out of my paycheck into money markets and investment accounts that H does not have access to. He is aware of what I am putting in there and I occassionally let him know how much is in there. I will let him know when I move money. We combine our money vs keeping it separate. I think him not knowing the passwords is because I had this all set up before we got married. He had savings, but I had saving goals with targeted savings amounts and a detailed budget, etc.
I have access to all his retirement accounts. He doesn't.
He monitors our bank account well. I withdrew money for his Christmas present and within 2 hours he asked me about it. Not to keep tabs on me, but to make sure I actually did that. He is very good at mentally tracking a budget. For example, he can tell me how much we spent on X this month off the top of his head and be pretty close.
Re: Access to bank accounts
Our money is separate; however, we could both access each others' accounts if we wanted to. We both have cc's through the same provider and they both have H's name, so we can see both cc's.
It works for us. We see where our money goes, we keep track of our respective spending online, and have never had a problem in our 4.5 years of marriage.
technically speaking we both have acccess to everything, but H doesn't really ever look at anything, and I really don't think he remembers how to if he wanted to (although I would tell him if he asked and have tried to show him before so if I die he knows what is going on with our finances). Both of our names are on all the accounts except the kids accounts. Those just have my name and each kids name on them, but really because that bank only allows one adult.
I am pretty sure our retirement accts each have just our name on them but we are eachother beneficiary or something. I forget.
We both know where our money goes even though I do the finances and pay all the bills.
We combine our money and we both have full access to all our accounts. Although he rarely looks at our bank account because we take out cash to spend each month and I pay the bills online. It's there if either of us wants to look though.
We both have access to our joint checking account and our investment account. DH and I both maintain individual checking accounts, and I have a money market account that I opened before we married that we still haven't gotten around to adding his name to yet, though we will eventually. We can't access the other's retirement accounts.
However, if DH (or I) us wants to know a balance in an account to which he don't have login info, all he does is ask and I tell him or login for him. We know each others common passwords and usernames, so if we really needed to access the accounts we could probably figure it out within a few minutes.
We both have access to our accounts. We both check it pretty regularly. I pay all the bills, and I'll tell him when I'm paying each bill so he knows how much we will have after bills. I think our system works pretty well, we equally control the money. Although we do need to get better at saving money, since both of us are spenders (we're only spenders with money we actually have, we don't use any credit cards or anything like that).
Kaylee & Cole 06.14.08
8/6/11 First 5k! OG&E Expo Run 34:47
9/3/11 Brookhaven Run 5k 34:18
9/17/11 Healthy Sooners Fun Run 5k 33:38
10/15/11 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 33:31
10/29/11 Monster Dash 5k 32:06 PR!
11/11/11 Veteran's Day Run 11k in Dallas 1:13:15 Instant PR!
1/28/12 Texas Half Marathon 2:38:03 Instant PR!
3/25/12 Earlywine Dash
We do joint checking and savings. We only have one CC left and it's in my name, but we're probably going to close that account soon because we never use it. DH is in charge of budgeting, etc. We pay the majority of the bills online, I usually end up paying the mortgage though. I have no idea what the passwords are to monitor our checking/saving accounts online, but if I was really concerned about it he would remind me... or I could just go to the actual bank and check. Admittedly, I really suck with money. When I was single and right out of college, I had no bills or rent so I basically spent what I made... I'm pretty near-sighted in that department. DH is fabulous with money though, so I trust him. Sometimes it does feel like I'm "asking permission" to spend on "wants" but I get over it pretty quickly because I make money on the side through photography and usually end up just spending that as my "fun money."
It works for us.
H usually asks me and I always feel like he is asking permission. He's not really, it just that I do all the money stuff. It makes me laugh a bit becuase he is the one who makes all the money anyway so I sort of feel like he is asking to spend his money even though it is our money (and we both see it as our money) if that makes sense.
Yeah, we are dual income... But I'm the bread winner. haha Oh, irony...
Totally makes sense to me, Jenn! H and I do the exact same thing... and it's mostly all his money too.