Would you be disappointed?

Noron · December 2010

So remember that wedding I was in in September? The 'zilla? Well, she's done being a 'zilla, which is nice...but I just got their TY in the mail yesterday (so four months after the fact?) and it was a picture of them with a generic printed TY. Something to the effect of "thank you for your support and generosity, you all mean a lot to us.". I can't help but be kind of...wtf?...about it. She did give us a handwritten TY at the rehearsal dinner, though. Am I wrong to feel slighted? Or is this the new thing and I'm just an old-fashioned fuddy duddy?

Noron · December 2010

Sorry for the lack of paragraphs, I'm posting from my phone.

eskamo · December 2010

I think it's the new thing, when it definitely should not be. I would also feel slighted for the crappy ty note.

Whippet8 · December 2010

I agree. TY notes should be hand written, even if it's just a quick, short note.

carcrashheart · December 2010

those 4 weddings in 5 weeks that we had earlier this fall? yeah, we got a TY card from 1 of them. i was in 3 of those weddings. i'm not so bothered by the other 2 brides whose weddings i was in, bc they did give TY cards with our gifts at the RD. but the last wedding we were merely guests-the groom is a buddy of DH-and no TY. at least, not yet. maybe soon?

i hand wrote a TY to all of BP members again, especially since they were all generous enough to give us a wedding gift.

Whippet8 · December 2010

carcrashheart:

those 4 weddings in 5 weeks that we had earlier this fall? yeah, we got a TY card from 1 of them. i was in 3 of those weddings. i'm not so bothered by the other 2 brides whose weddings i was in, bc they did give TY cards with our gifts at the RD. but the last wedding we were merely guests-the groom is a buddy of DH-and no TY. at least, not yet. maybe soon?

i hand wrote a TY to all of BP members again, especially since they were all generous enough to give us a wedding gift.

this is what we did

eskamo · December 2010

melko4886:
carcrashheart:

those 4 weddings in 5 weeks that we had earlier this fall? yeah, we got a TY card from 1 of them. i was in 3 of those weddings. i'm not so bothered by the other 2 brides whose weddings i was in, bc they did give TY cards with our gifts at the RD. but the last wedding we were merely guests-the groom is a buddy of DH-and no TY. at least, not yet. maybe soon?

i hand wrote a TY to all of BP members again, especially since they were all generous enough to give us a wedding gift.

this is what we did

We did too. I feel as if this is both a sign of respect and just plain common courtesy. These generic ty notes, or even no ty notes, drive me crazy.

lilbit255 · December 2010

Yeah I think I would be disappointed. We handwrote all of our TY notes. I feel it's only appropriate. Overall I think I'd rather get that generic note than no note at all though. Either way I think it's kind of tacky or disappointing. Sometimes people put a lot of thought into the wedding gift so it only makes sense to let them know you thought of them too by giving them a personalized note.

Noron · December 2010

I didn't think etiquette had changed so much in a year rendering the TY note completely unnecessary, but I just wanted to check! I'm glad I'm not nuts.

We also did handwritten, personalized notes for all guests AND BP members - it really didn't even take that long, and I know people like me appreciate them.

I agree with everyone that said a crappy TY is better than nothing, though - that's for sure!

carcrashheart:
those 4 weddings in 5 weeks that we had earlier this fall? yeah, we got a TY card from 1 of them. i was in 3 of those weddings. i'm not so bothered by the other 2 brides whose weddings i was in, bc they did give TY cards with our gifts at the RD. but the last wedding we were merely guests-the groom is a buddy of DH-and no TY. at least, not yet. maybe soon?

This made me Indifferent . Maybe they're just running late? I mean, this generic TY was from a 9/18 wedding...and we got a TY from a June '09 wedding the week after we got back from our honeymoon...better late than never!

carcrashheart · December 2010

Noron:

I didn't think etiquette had changed so much in a year rendering the TY note completely unnecessary, but I just wanted to check! I'm glad I'm not nuts.

We also did handwritten, personalized notes for all guests AND BP members - it really didn't even take that long, and I know people like me appreciate them.

I agree with everyone that said a crappy TY is better than nothing, though - that's for sure!

carcrashheart:

those 4 weddings in 5 weeks that we had earlier this fall? yeah, we got a TY card from 1 of them. i was in 3 of those weddings. i'm not so bothered by the other 2 brides whose weddings i was in, bc they did give TY cards with our gifts at the RD. but the last wedding we were merely guests-the groom is a buddy of DH-and no TY. at least, not yet. maybe soon?

This made me . Maybe they're just running late? I mean, this generic TY was from a 9/18 wedding...and we got a TY from a June '09 wedding the week after we got back from our honeymoon...better late than never!

sorry, i just checked back in to this thread.

no, i dont think that's the case. though, i can't say i know for sure about bride #1 (who married 9.17), she may be running behind. but i remember her complaining about writing out TY cards waayyyy back, right after the wedding. so i'm going to go with she just didn't send us one. and we did give them a gift, too. it wasn't much at all, just some cash, but they had let us crash at their house for the wknd so we felt it was the right thing to do. bride #2 was the only one that sent us a TY card. bride #3, who also happens to be my sister, must have skipped over us, because i noticed people on her FB wall thanking her for the TY card.

my own sister didn't send us a TY card... Indifferent

Noron · December 2010

Whaaat? Oh man. Um...maybe she's coming up with something even better than a TY...? Yeah, no - probably not. And bride #1 complaining and then not doing them? Not ok.

carcrashheart · December 2010

*shrug* in the scheme of things, i figure it's just something they assumed wasn't necessary since they included TY's with the gifts at the RD. it irks me, but it's not a hill to die on.

Would you be disappointed?

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