September 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I hate to do this on Xmas Eve. T&P please
My FIL is not doing well at all. Just to catch everybody up, I C&P'd the email that I sent the email group yesterday:
So, I really hate to be a right before the holidays, but my FIL could use some serious prayers. Most of you know that he's been battling cancer since soon after Wade and I started dating 5+ years ago. The chemo he's been doing for the last few years has caused MDS, which is a bone marrow disease where white blood cells aren't being produced. He has no immune system left. He got pneumonia early in November and had been in the hospital for over a month. He was moved to a nursing home for rehabilitation about two weeks ago, and ended up back in the hospital a few days ago because the pneumonia came back. It doesn't look good. MDS is incurable. The doctor said it will either kill him or turn into Luekemia. I'm really scared that he isn't getting out of the hospital this time. We're supposed to leave for Mexico for my brother's wedding in 13 days, and we can't go if he's just dying in a hospital bed. I really don't know what to do. They gave him pretty much no chance to survive this...I just wish it would take him so he wasn't suffering, or that it would subside enough for him to at least go home. Anyways, if you could keep him in your thoughts, it'd mean a lot to me.
So that was yesterday. Today SIL calls to tell us that FIL met with a case worker and said that he would no longer accept treatment. He's been having blood transfusions and receiving platelets every day for a month and a half. Most of the time he is incoherent. When we were in the hospital two nights ago, he didn't even realize we were there. He was able to come around enough to decide he wont do this anymore. He's had enough. He is stopping all treatments and will be moving to hospice on Monday.
I saw my husband cry today for only the second time ever. I don't know what to do. Ivan is going to die, and it can be any day. The doctor said he won't make it more than a month, and that's stretching it.
I feel so selfish right now because I can't imagine missing my brother's wedding. We'd be out $1600 for the 5 day trip, and it's too late to get trip insurance that'd allow us to cancel. I'm hoping Ivan is still well enough that we can go, but I just don't see it happening. If he dies while we're gone, Wade would never forgive himself. If I don't go to the wedding and Ivan lives two more months or something, my brother won't forgive me.
Not the best Christmas present this year...
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Re: I hate to do this on Xmas Eve. T&P please
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Megan, I wish I had some words of advice. I hope you are still able to have a nice Christmas, and you and Wade are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mr. and Mrs. est. September 6, 2008 Expecting Baby #1 October 1, 2013
Oh Megan, I'm so so so sorry to be reading this news. Your FIL, Wade and the rest of the family are in my T&P's.
Regarding the whole wedding thing...how would you feel about going without Wade? (Or how would he feel about it?) This way Wade would be home if FIL takes a turn for the worse and you could possibly get a flight home. If FIL does ok through the wedding week, then at least you would've been there for your brother. Does that make any sense?
Thanks ladies. It's going to be rough.
Amanda, at this point that's what we're planning to do. I don't even want to go anymore. I want to be with my husband, or have him be down there with me. He told me last night he wasn't going to spend 5 days away when he didn't know how much time he had left with his dad, and I completely understand. At the same time, he says I have to go to be there for my brother. It's just going to be so hard trying to have a good time when I know he's back here dealing with everything. It's just going to be 5 days of wanting/waiting to go home or get the call that Ivan passed away.
Megan, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I have been trying to respond a few times and for some reason my phone was being selective about what I could respond to.
I am keeping all of you in my prayers. We are all here anytime you need to talk.