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Gotta Love Being the Giant Elephant...
So, Christmas was a little awkward. My family knows that I'm divorced now and I don't mind if they say something to me about it but everyone felt the need to skirt around the subject. No one asked me how I've been, no one asked me what I've been up to this year, and no one asked me about Cody (and everyone knows about it).
Only my cousin Alison would chat with me and that's because she and her husband almost got a divorce a few years ago but the ended up getting back together. So she basically knew what I was going through and she asked me about where I'm living, the house we're buying, etc. But everyone else... it's like I was off limits or something.
It was really annoying. I know a few of you are also divorced so I'm just curious- is this normal? Is divorce really that controversial that it can't be mentioned in polite company? It's not like I'm the only one who's been divorced in my family either...
Re: Gotta Love Being the Giant Elephant...
This! Sometimes they just feel awkward to say anything about it. Maybe they didn't want to remind you of what is going on. It's Christmas, supposed to be a happy time, they probalby didn't want to say anything to bring it unhappy. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.
I'm guessing every situation is different. For me, my family didn't have any problems discussing it. It was a very difficult situation for me because I had three children and we'd been married for a number of years. The support I received from them during the 'transition' period was exactly what I needed.
I do agree with PP's though. It may be awkward for them to discuss it with you so they don't want to bring it up....especially around the holidays.
Good luck Jaye, I'm sure it'll all be 'normal' in the near future! Once they meet Cody, things will be fine.
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I get not talking about the divorce but to not ask me about ANYTHING. No one had a conversation with me, even the cousins who usually do. They didn't ask how Phoenix was or how the business was going. And some of them have met Cody and he didn't come up even though he called in the middle of the party to chat with me and say hi to my parents.
For me it was just very weird. Not at all like my family who are notoriously snoopy and gossipy. I figured they'd LOVE the fodder. Hopefully by next year they'll forget about it.
I'm sorry, Jaye, I was going to agree with PPs but they didn't even ask you about anything?! Boo to them.
I agree with PPs about mentioning the divorce, but to not ask anything is kind of weird. One of my close friends filed for divorce recently after less than a year of marriage and I still feel awkward asking any questions. I guess I am lucky that I've never experienced anyone close to me (friends or family) that's been through a divorce before. My friend is actually doing really well now that she made the decision to leave. 6 months ago though, she was a wreck and I never knew what to say except "I'm sorry".
Hopefully your family won't be so antisocial with you in the future.
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That stinks! I'm sorry it was so awkward for you. My guess as to why they didn't say anything is that they probably just didn't know what to say. Like maybe all they could think of was to not bring up the divorce and they couldn't think of anything to ask that wasn't either linked to it or completely obvious that they were avoiding the topic.
My 19 y/o cousin had an unplanned pregnancy and at the family reunion this summer, I knew her situation but I didn't know how "out" it was yet. I wasn't sure what to say to her, and I didn't end up really talking to her for the most because of it. Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't know what to say and because there were a lot of other people around. Maybe it was the same kind of situation? I'm not sure that that makes it any better, but maybe more understandable? Or maybe I'm a jerk for not talking to my cousin?