Oklahoma Nesties
BoyMom21
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Confessions
I feel like there should be some good ones so far, and I don't see the harm in doing it twice a week!
Re: Confessions
Two of my cousins are selfish brats. My grandma started selling scentsy. We were all over at her house on Sunday for Christmas. My grandma gave me a book and told me to pick one out that I liked and if she had it, she would give it to me. Then she told my cousin-in-law the same thing. No big deal, we were excited. My two selfish cousins overheard and ran over to my grandma yelling "I want one too". They run over to her big box of scentsy stuff and rumaged through it picking out their warmers and all the scents they wanted. Then one of them asked my grandma to order her the OU warmer since my grandma didn't have one at her house. Now that I type all of this out, it sounds kind of silly, but I guess you'd have to be there. They've pretty much been like this their whole lives and it's pretty annoying, especially since one of them is 30 with 2 kids.
My grandparents bought her kids SOOOOO much for Christmas. Seriously, they ended up with a big black trash bag for each kid filled with clothes and toys. AND my grandma gave them each $100. And guess what, they didn't get my grandparents one single gift. No gift cards, no pictures of their kids...nothing. I'm pretty sure they would have a HUGE fit if they didn't get their $100 each Christmas. Oh, and for easter, my grandma fills plastic eggs with quarters. Well I'm pretty sure my cousin keeps all of the money from the eggs her kids find instead of letting the kids have the money. Oh, and this cousin has about 3-4 DUIs, one of them was while she had one of her kids in the car. I feel sooooo bad for her kids... And the other cousin is the one who is 6 months pregnant and still smoking...I already feel sorry for her kid too.
Kaylee & Cole 06.14.08
8/6/11 First 5k! OG&E Expo Run 34:47
9/3/11 Brookhaven Run 5k 34:18
9/17/11 Healthy Sooners Fun Run 5k 33:38
10/15/11 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 33:31
10/29/11 Monster Dash 5k 32:06 PR!
11/11/11 Veteran's Day Run 11k in Dallas 1:13:15 Instant PR!
1/28/12 Texas Half Marathon 2:38:03 Instant PR!
3/25/12 Earlywine Dash
I feel legitimately guilty about how spoiled I was for Christmas this year. I swear, the gift-giving bug hit pretty much everyone around me and it kind of makes me feel bad. Christmas was on steriods, I'm telling you.
On top of the ridiculous amount of gifts that DH got for me this year...
My mom and dad (really just my mom but funded by my dad [and they were this way for my sister and DH too]) got me: a brown/blue damask bench from Kirklands for my entry way, two pair of skinny jeans, a bunch of sweaters and long-sleeved shirts from Target (Black Friday really is a glorious thing), black leather riding boots, a robe, a straightening iron, gift cards to iStore, 7-11, Jimmy Johns, Starbucks, Chick-Fil-A, and PF Changs, a new jacket, etc etc. My sister got me a Coach wristlet and some other cute things, my older half-sister got DH and I a date night to Olive Garden and AMC, DH's parents got me house shoes, a STL Cardinals shirt, pajamas, a large photo collage frame, etc. His paternal grandma got me a cute chip and dip serving piece from Pier One........... And there's more, I just feel embarrassed writing it all out. Even his cousins that I see twice a year got me something.
We got everyone who gave us something a gift (within a more strict budget obviously) so I that helps a bit, but still.
Confession: After all that, here's what really bothered me this Christmas. DH's maternal grandma gave out cash this year. We went to her house for breakfast the day after Christmas to celebrate with DH's mom's side of the family. We all had to sit around the tree and do presents (I was the only person with NOTHING) and then his grandma lined up "all the grandchildren" and gave them $100... except for me... Because I'm apparently not a part of the family. They formed a line and gave her a hug and kiss as she gave them their card... and there's little ole me standing in the corner. It's not about the money, because I feel like I was given way above my share this year as it is... but I felt REEEEALLY left out. She even gave DH's cousin's fiancee's son money.... Not even a blood relative......... Oh well.
I feel like a total brat.
((
This is what drives me crazy about the holidays and gift giving - selfishness and uneven gift giving! Yesterday we had the ILs and their kids over and gave them their christmas gifts. BF spent a good chunk of change to buy gifts for both parents and their three kids. Like always, the kids receive a gift they already have because they're spoiled and have every toy under the sun. They all have to open up all their games and start playing with them and mixing up the pieces all over our living room, which is fine, but when they throw temper tantrums (which they always do) they throw the game pieces every where and bang up our furniture. Not that we have nice furniture, but when their parents tell them "no don't do that" and then give them a hug and a kiss, I don't think you're deterring bad behavior. So after all the gift giving, BF and I got nothing. According to them, they didn't bring our gifts over, but that really means they haven't bought anything yet so they can see first how much we spent on them so they can buy an equitable gift or most likely re-gift an appropriate gift. Some people say christmas is all about the kids, which might be true if it's your own children, but not so much for the rest of us.
Including today, I have eight working days left at my current job.
I have totally checked out. I feel bad, and I'll get the must-do stuff done.. but man it is HARD to be motivated. There are a lot of underlying factors that are making me upset--my leaving here is causing a few issues that are really, really bothering me, and my leaving might cause two other people to lose their jobs... which is so completely unfair and stupid. This really is a great company overall, but the layout of this department is just so, so flawed. I'm glad I'm going, but I don't like the way this is all happening. You would think that giving a freaking month's notice would make things go a bit smoother, but no. And if those people do lose their jobs, I'll have a nice piece of guilt to chew on for a while.
my bookshelf!
Bloggy
I don't think you sound like a brat at all. Something similar happened to us, except H was the one left out. This is the 2nd year that we've gone to my paternal grandmother's house, and H has been the only person there without a gift addressed to him. We did get a throw that was addressed to the ________ family, but he didn't have any gifts that were specifically for him, while my brother's GF got several gifts addressed specifically to her. H says he doesn't care, but it hurts my feelings that we have been married for almost 5 years, yet he is not really treated as part of the family, while the GF is (when she and my brother have been together for a couple of years and break up every couple of months).
I needed this! Although mine is totally flameful and not flamefree, which I feel horrible, but really cant help it!
I haven't seen my stepkids since before my baby was born. We were in the hospital for a full week during our week with them. So last night we get them for the first time again. We do "our christmas" last night and wow! 8yo SS pretty much was a lil' butt about most of his gifts, said he had one already or hates this, etc. So I told him I would let Santa take it all back, he said ok! Really? BTW this was all stuff he asked for. Both kids constantly told me every lil' thing baby did and how I should do it this way instead. "hold that head better" etc. They were whiny, didn't want anything to do with me, and tried to get DH against me.
I swear I am about to shoot them! lol. I know they are jealous of baby but seriously? They aren't just jealous of baby it is like they hate me more now because I brought baby into this world.
We were only going to have them till Wed this week because they would then go to Iowa with MIL. Well found out today that isnt going to happen. Now we have them till Monday! MIL has decided she has "disorder" that is "undiagnosable" and can't go. Seems like total BS to me because this disorder started day of my baby being born. Maybe it is a coincidence, but I dont know. Since then DH gets calls from his mother constantly no matter what time it is! She called at 2am the other night, really? We have a newborn and DH just started back at work again!
My confession is I don't like my stepkids, I know it is horrible to say for how long DH and i have been together. But it's not getting easier or better. I was hoping we get to ease into taking care of them with new baby, but because MIL is supposedly sick we now can't. I had planned a special evening with DH and baby for new years, but now we have to entertain the kids.
I know I sound like a horrible stepmother, but it is the hardest job ever!
I'm cutting you some slack as I read this because I know the first few weeks with a newborn are tough, and sleep deprivation can suppress our better instincts. I have to ask, though - Have you considered that the reason why your stepkids don't seem to like you is that they are picking up on the way YOU feel about them? Kids are very perceptive to stuff like that.
IPmama, I get it about the Christmas thing. My stepdaughter was quite greedy at Christmas and I was absolutely appalled. I also got tired of hearing "I ALREADY HAVE THIS" or "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?" My in laws were extremely upset by her behavior because most of these comments were directed toward the gifts they gave her. That kind of behavior isn't appropriate at ANY age.
What is most difficult is that I don't really understand my place. When she says "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?" do I say something? Reprimand her? Apologize for her? I just don't even know. Before we had our second Christmas with her at DH's grandparent's house, Husband had a chat with her about being gracious and thankful and not greedy and that if she opened something she already had, to not say anything and we would get it worked out. She was a doll the entire day - I was mucho impressed.
My point is: Have you talked to your husband about this? Maybe its time for him to have a talk with his kids. My husband actually said to his four year old "People work really, really hard for their money and they have chosen to buy YOU something with it instead of themselves. Please be gracious and thank them even if it is something you already have or hate." Even at four, she got it. Most likely your step kids were acting out because of not having seen you or your husband in awhile, plus the addition of the baby...maybe he needs to spend some daddy time with them alone?
Good luck. Its hard. I know it!
The think is they do like me actually. I am the cool stepmom is what they have told their mother and grandmother. I always have a happy face and play and do everything with them, but I just feel so stressed when they are here. DH and I dont do as well either. It just sucks. I feel so guilty because all I do is try and try. Then I think I am trying to hard and maybe that is the problem. they like me so what the heck is wrong with me
Thank you! Yes we have talked to both children before any holiday/birthday etc and nothing has changed. They both act ungrateful. We have a lot of behavior issues with both of them, which is something DH has dealt with since they were babies. Mother thinks no rules of any kind is appropriate. Children should behave however they want to and say what they want. So we struggle! We have rules, boundaries, manners, etc. So only have them part time makes it difficult when we aren't "fun" because we actually expect them to act their age in a well defined manner.