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advice, comments, anything?
So I'm new to this whole blog thing, so bear with me...
In short...
I've been married for 4 months on Jan. 17th. After we got married we moved to Chappell, Nebraska. Pretty much the middle of no where. My husband manages some farm land and when he's not doing that he works for Big Iron, an online auction. And me...I don't do much of anything. I have no job, no friends, and no family here.
I grew up in Lincoln, Nebraska. My family and I are all really close, especially my sister, mom, and I. I used to have a good group of friends and a good church. Now I don't know where I fit...there is a population of about 400 here and there are VERY few young people here, I'm 21 and my husband is 23.
I babysit two times a week, which is an income of about $25 a week....not helping us much. I've been looking for a job, but it's hard to find one close. There are so many small business's that don't hire help. I don't know what I'm suppose to do here. I knew this would be a big adjustment before we got married, but we decided to try it for a year and see how things pan out. He is perfectly happy here, me...not so much. Some days are better then others and I'm really trying to be happy here. I just don't want to be content doing nothing...being home all day by yourself is not very fulfilling at all.
humf.
Re: advice, comments, anything?
As far as your income, do you have any degrees or skills? If you are crafty, you could set up your own Etsy webpage and sell things.
As for socially...that is tough. You might have to make friends with some locals. Or hang out in a neighboring town.
It sounds like you could use some hobbies (if you truly can't find a job)... and free hobbies.
Do you exercise?
Do you have space for a garden in the Spring?
Are there places you can volunteer? Senior center, elementary school, library, food shelf, etc? Sometimes volunteering can lead to jobs. It can also fill holes on resumes.
Do you bake?
Do you read?
I'd recommend waking up everymorning and exercising. It will get you moving and it is really good for endorphins (the feel-good chemicals in your brain). Then have a schedule - don't get suckered in by day-time TV. Bake bread from scratch or knit or clean, eat lunch, go to your volunteer position (or do something to get you out of the house), come home, relax for an hour or two, cook a nice dinner.
No degree...I was home schooled and did not get a diploma either. My passions are singing and children, there's not much I can do with singing....and I can't find enough kids to watch to actually make anything. I've checked at the day cares I know of and they aren't hiring.
There is one couple we hang out with once in a while...and Ashley is really nice, we are just different and don't really connect...it's always a little awkward. And there is no where to hang out here...really. There is one coffee shop in Ogallala and It closes at 4pm. Not too many options.
There you go - get your diploma! What a great time to finish up high school - I'm assuming there are some places either online or nearby that you can complete this?
1) "No degree... and did not get a diploma either" Get your GED!!!! That will take up some time and I think that there are online programs for it. Set aside time every day to do the work. This could be one of the best things you ever do for yourself. It can help get you started on a career in childcare!
2) My passions are singing Volunteer at a senior center/home. See if you can lead a sing-along. This was a favorite activity at a senior home near me. I played cards with residents 1 night a week.
3) and children Volunteer at a local school. It could lead to a job there (more possible with a GED)... or meeting of potential babysitting clients.
these are all GREAT suggestions.
just wanted to say sorry - that sounds like a really tough transition. it's always hard to move for one person's job but they you are stuck without a job, without family, and with such dismal prospects for friends. however, you may meet someone through volunteering and definitely get your GED in the meantime if you can.
maybe start reading some great books or get instant netflix as well to pass the time at night since everything closes so early
Another suggestion to combine singing and children - see if you can volunteer with a local church's childrens choir.
I would recommending trying to find a hobby like all of these other posts.
BUT, if you still feel discontent about where you are, you need to share that with your husband. You say this is a trial period for a year. Perfect. Try hobbies (different ones) for a year. After that year my recommendation would be to set an actual date with your husband and express exactly how you feel about living there. If you don't find your niche there and you just "deal" with it because he is happy, it will DEFINITELY cause resentment towards him which will definitely hurt your marriage. So a month away from the end of the year trial period, plan a date with your husband and go out to eat or make a yummy meal and express EXACTLY how you feel and communicate clearly and calmly.
Hope this helps,
-future marriage counselor
Try putting a profile on Care.com or another caregiver website, you can look for nanny/babysitting positions. Care.com also does pet care, elder care, special needs care, so there are lots of options.
And get your GED!
There is literally NO better way to find friends than joining a choir. You might hafta drive to another town to do it if the churches in your area don't have choirs and there's no community choir, but trust me, it will be well worth it. I have been singing in various choirs my entire life, and the people I have met through that activity have been amazing.
Is there any possibility you could work from home? Your lack of a high school diploma will probably hinder you here, so I agree with all the posters who say to go get that GED. Seriously, what better time than now?
I'm assuming you moved out to the middle of nowhere for your husband's job? If that's the case, it's going to be very easy for you to eventually end up resenting him for taking you away from all your family and friends. Make sure you keep in close contact with everyone back at home, and maybe do some volunteer work in your new town to meet folks. Anything so you don't feel like you're sitting at home doing nothing. Maybe take an online class via a local community college?
Thanks to everyone (:
Not that my house isn't still very clean, but when I first moved here I was obsessive about cleaning because that's pretty much all I had to to. I also painted 4 rooms, one of them I actually tore walls down, I made some homemade Christmas gifts, I help with kids and teens at our church youth group ( i still do that, but it's once a week.) and I was even working out for a while. Those things distracted me for a while but I'm just realizing I need something more than distractions...anyone know what I mean? I used to be really social! When I started dating my husband I was not as social because my friends were going to college and I used to work 10 hour days at a day care so once I was finally done with work I usually spent that time with him (Even though I wasn't as close with my friends before I moved...I still had them and I've always lived with my sister even when we moved out of my moms so we have always been really close.) Going from 10 hour days to nothing is just driving me crazy. I'm not a lazy person I swear....It's just that when I start feeling sad or down about things I isolate myself and mop which just makes things worse.I know I need to get over that. I just need to get out of this rut...or whatever I'm in. It's just sometimes easy staying in the rut than distracting myself and falling back into it. It's frustrating.
Choir is a good Idea! I don't know how it would work if I already attend a church that doesn't have a choir...?? I guess I'd have to look into it.
I forget who posted about talking to H after a year....but, yes! I am planning on doing that. I just need to hang in there for longer I guess. I am very emotional and cry at the drop of a hat...really, So sometimes I think maybe H doesn't realize how much the move effects me cause I do cry so much. haha.
At the same time, expressing how I feel about it just frustrates him and he thinks I'm not trying or that I don't want it to work out for us to live here. But I think setting a time to REALLY talk about it AFTER a year is a great idea. I guess I'd just rather feel this way then move and make him feel the way I do now...I hate when he's not happy. He is an amazing man and husband and I don't want to ever make him feel like he isn't.
I almost just cried....haha.
okay. (:
Sorry that was really scatterbrained. And thanks to anyone who actually read all that (:
Also, I hope you seriously consider getting your GED. Without it, you will be hard pressed to get a good job, and therefore will be more beholden to have to live where your DH can get a job. If after a year he can't find a job elsewhere, and you can't get a job that will support you, then you'll be stuck where you currently live.
I am actually working on getting my diploma through the home school program I had been working with. I just need to take a couple glasses to get it! The others I needed for it I guess I already did my senior year. so that's good! It's kinda at a stand still at the moment because we are trying to figure out exactly what classes they are that I need to get the diploma. But I'm definitely going to get it (: thanks for the encouragement, though. I need it (: I'm not a huge fan of school.