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It must be the hormones - sort of a FFC
Because it really shouldn't irk me so much ... well, it doesn't really irk me, I just think my sister has lost the last shreds of her sanity.
She and my BIL gave my niece a MERCEDES for her 16th birthday. I *think* (but I am not positive) that it's the car my sister had before she bought her Lexus. I was too disgusted to ask ... I mean, even IF it is a "hand-me-down" a Mercedes for a 16 yr old is a bit ... ridiculous. What does that kid now have to aspire to, car-wise? When she has to buy her own car, will she be happy with a Ford Focus or Chevrolet Cavalier (these are just examples, obviously, of a "first" car for a college grad)?
I once worked with a woman who gave her 16 yr old daughter a Porsche for her bday and told her, "Never date anyone whose car isn't at least as good as yours!" It was an older Porsche, but COME ON! WHAT 16 yr old boy has a PORSCHE or something better?????? So last night, my niece says on FB, "Well, I guess this means I can't date guys who drive cars that aren't as nice as mine!" W T F?!?!?
I love my sister dearly and we get along better now than ever, but I really can't figure out WTH she's thinking here, but I have an idea ... and if she's doing what I think she is, she's wrong for doing it. *sigh*
Re: It must be the hormones - sort of a FFC
I am not into giving kids nice cars right when they get their licenses, mainly because I think you've got to earn your way up to nice things. ITA with you that she will be disappointed some day when she has to get a "lesser" car because she can't afford a new Mercedes when she's 22 (or she will think she CAN afford one and go into debt). I think that kind of thing contributes to people living beyond their means, but maybe I'm reading too much into it.
We constantly have to remind ourselves that our parents started out with very little and worked up to the nice things they have now, so we have to put in some time of not having everything we want while we work up to being able to afford nice things.
WHOA! That's out of control. It really can't be good for the kid.
I, on the other hand, would not be spoiled if given a free Mercedes.
ROFLMAO!
Thanks, I really did need that laugh!
I agree with Melissa that she is going to be very disappointed if he can't afford a Mercedes or something better by the time she's 22. I'm wondering if at that time she will run to her parents thinking that they can help her purchase a vehicle. This is starting her off on the wrong foot. She's always going to want the finer things in life rather she can afford them o not. I hope she doesn't push herself so much she gets older that she doesn't go into some serious debt!
You know what REALLY gets me about all of this?? Just this week, my sister was complaining to me about how my niece is all about her - and how she thinks she should get anything she wants! See, my BIL isn't my niece's bio father - she's never met the bio father, but she's been in contact with him ... behind my sister's back. On the one hand she was telling my sis that she didn't want anything to do with BF and that she didn't want to meet him till she was 18, blah blah blah. But in reality, she's been talking to the SOB (And I do mean SOB - he's been in prison not once, but TWICE for assault w/a deadly weapon, both times against a woman) and calling him "Daddy" and all sorts of crap. It's breaking my sister's heart ... I suggested that perhaps she shouldn't give my niece a car but she won't do that ... no, instead she gives her a MERCEDES!!! Meanwhile, sis is complaining to me about how the only reason she thinks my niece is talking to BF is because she thinks she'll get gifts from him - and that my niece is focused ONLY on herself and how much she can get from someone.
My sister can't see how she's perpetuating the very thing she says she dislikes about her daughter ... how can one person be so blind?????
Rachel, you are freaking hilarious! I can totally see how this irks you, especially after reading about the complaints your sister has. Does she not realize she is creating that mess herself?? I have strong feelings about first cars and what a 16 year old should drive. I had to buy my first car and it was the lamest car every, but you know what? I appreciated the heck out of it because it was MY hard work that bought that baby. So even if H and I have the means to buy our child a nice, brand new ride, we will not. I will however offer to match whatever they can save to put towards a car, but I want them to realize the value of it. I feel like there is no better lesson to teach them than that - the value of hardwork. I just feel like so many kids are SO spoiled with "stuff" these days and it's setting them up for failure as adults when reality slaps them right in the face.
Stepping off of my soapbox now
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I'm glad someone else made this point. I was going to (and typed it out) but wasn't sure if I was going to get angry "I was a great driver at 16" feedback so I deleted it. My sister totaled her first car within 6 days of getting her license.
My first car in 2003 was a 1995 Taurus that was my family's car for the years leading up to it. My senior year I got a 1998 Camry and I still consider it a "new car" 6 years later.
It isn't a new car, it is my sister's old car - they bought the new Lexus (to them) because they couldn't keep the Mercedes out of the shop, and my sister broke down in it a few times. So I guess giving it to a 16 yr old makes perfect sense. /roll eyes
And as my mother pointed out, my sister's other daughter will be driving in 4 years. Guess what she's been saving money for since she was 8 ... if you said "Lexus" you would be absolutely correct. My parents are pretty sure that my sis bought the Lexus so she can pass it on to my younger niece.
I think my daughter was just thrilled ot get an old truck to drive! But it is confirmed - my sister has lost her marbles!
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I was just thinking the same thing.
When I was 17, I got a hand me down 1984 dodge omni, and my parents added me to their AAA policy.
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Best part of this little drama so far ... Called my mother around 7pm tonight and niece was at her house - visiting and alone. Now they don't live far from my mom, but she just got her DL on Monday and she's out at night, driving around alone? I didn't like that at all.
And I was shocked and surprised because my sister wouldn't even let them go out the door when she was 12 without an adult ... and that was to the backyard!
Not to defend their decision entirely, because I think the child is going to have major entitlement issues but.
I've found parents that choose to go this route (giving their gently used car rather than buying a clunker for their kids) view it as the safest option. It probably has every safety feature Mercedes has to offer. They also know the vehicle service history, so in their minds, their daughter isn't going to be stranded on the side of the road at midnight with an oil leak or busted transmission.
It's not a matter of "if she crashes" but "when she crashes, she'll be safe"
I'd agree with you, Marcy, (and by the way, my Sunbird was a hand-me-down, not a purchase, and mechanically perfect) but Jill said the Mercedes constantly breaks down. So she may be able to take a hit, but she's awfully likely to be stranded on the side of the road at every given moment.
On the other hand, I don't actually think 7 p.m. is late for the kid to be out driving. In NJ we have provisional licenses now - for the first year, the kid can't have more than one non-family passenger and can't drive from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. So even the NJ legislature, which is pretty restrictive, doesn't see an issue with 7 p.m.
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I think there are two sides to this. If the car is brand new, then that's a whole different set of issues.
If it really is a hand me down, I think that's very smart as far as budget goes, although niece will have some issues going forward with future cars and other luxurious "needs" vs. economical needs. If we're in the same position then we'd hand down a car to our kids rather than buy them something brand new. Or we'd help them buy something if they save up money too.
I think it's a little scary though that they have constant problems with the Mercedes and that it's in the shop all the time. I don't think that is very safe. I wouldn't have a problem letting my child drive at night as far as it was in a reliable car and they came home by curfew. I think it's kind of irresponsible to give a clunker to your 16 year old.
But different strokes for different folks.
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