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Hezz is a Secret Santa Champ
Re: Hezz is a Secret Santa Champ
"Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Bravo, bravo. Both to Hezz and Jens. I think next year everyone should have to video their gift opening.
At least you could've given a spoiler alert Coley. Thankfully, I'd already finished watching it.
OH, and I forgot to mention in the video, I put the $10 sephora gift card Hezz gave me towards a lovely clinique face mask.
Seriously, the DenimLorne doll. I had to cut out like, 2.5 minutes of just silent shake laughing. Pure gold.
Some santa claus chocolates, a cute pair of long socks, a polar bear that poops jelly beans, and a voo doo doll with a denim outfit on and a tag on the box that says "Denim Lorne Edition"
And everything had sticky notes with swear words on them, which made me laugh because I am 12.
Oh, and a custom card that had me on it and it was a paper doll that you could put a dress on. And it had pink lingerie on that was quite flattering.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
AWESOM gift! I think Denim Lorne may be tied with the pon tree.
Jens, you are so freakin' cute! And such great gifts!!
I read this as Denim Lorne may be tied (as in tied up) with the pon tree and was extremely confused as to why the pon tree was connected to Denim Lorne and why someone would tie someone up with pons.
A lot of thought went into this before the seventeenth time I read it, and it dawned on me that I was using the wrong tied.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Aw, thanks November!
After getting this sweet stuff from Hezz, and seeing everyone else's stuff, I really feel like I need to step up my game next year.
Where do you get off calling people cute when YOU are the queen of wee cuteness. Hm?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Come on. I was hoping for CMC next year, I just got a bunch of unsalted soda crackers on sale.
My favorite part was when it was over.
KIDDING. I like your gloves! I wonder who measured DenimLorne's inseam?
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
YOUR MOM DID.
Actually... probably MY mom did...
Great gifts Hezz. The voodoo doll was ah-mazing.
And Jens, you are too stinking cute.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Mmmm, unsalted soda crackers sound delicious.
I love the voodoo doll. Well done, Hezz!
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
Thanks Groomz.
And the doll IS Ah-mazing. I have been wanting to try his light denim pants on him, but the idea of taking his current pants off is too much for me. I know it's just a doll, I know. But I can't.
CMC, from my heart to yours.
I miss HMV. Did you know that poutine is now in DC! It is actually really good poutine, almost as good as a cantine in some strangely named french canadian town. If any of you north-landers could send me some ringolos, or some Christie Bits and Bites (Meli-Melos) I would be much obliged and could get together a goody pack of whatever goodies you want from here.
I was thinking you had to have exacto-ed the card yourself. So much effort, just for me. You are a gem.
ps. I have a DenimLorne story to tell you guys from today. It's second hand from my little sister, but it is a doozy. That doll is going to come in handy for releasing my emotional constipation from dealing with these DL situations in diplomatic ways. Hezz gave me the gift of mental health for Christmas.
Phantom Rater will thank you to shut your hoar mouth when using his name