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I need help!
Ok, please don't laugh. I know this is going to sound real goofy (I already typed this once, then deleted cuz it's so lame!)
We're doing a work Halloween thing and our "theme" is "wall street blues." Basically we're all different people affected by the economic meltdown (most have golden parachutes). Anyways, we're supposed to do resumes and I actually got drafted into doing two. I'm at a total loss! I keep getting distracted by "facts" and before I know it another hour has gone by. I've only got 45 minutes left!
Does anyone want to help and throw out some ideas for "past experience"? I'm supposed to be a corrupt lobbyist; something like "sucessfully lobbyied for deregulation of certain industries related to housing." The other gal I'm supposed to do a resume for is a former AIG exec - maybe something like "Instrumental in growing credit default swap products to maximize company profits" You get the idea.
Please don't laugh (too hard) and don't think (too much) less of me. This was not my idea!!
Anything you can achieve through hard work, you could also just buy.
Re: I need help!
Maybe for the AIG Exec's past experience:
AIG, Director, P&L: Buying Useless Loans with Customers' Money
Maybe an MBA from Wharton with a senior thesis on Reverse Robin Hooding: How to Screw Over the Little Guy and Still End Up Freakin' Loaded.
Anything you can achieve through hard work, you could also just buy.
here's some for the Corrupt Lobbyist:
-Bankrolled the head of the Senate Finance Committee who ignored the dire warnings of undercapitalized GSE's. Bonus points b/c there was no investigation!
- Barney Frank's (head of the Senate Finance Committee that supposedly oversees Fannie Mae) former lover worked at Fannie Mae so you could say you hooked them up.?
-Convinced congresspeople to buy stock in the GSEs instead of investigating them
-Bought the Ritz Carlton penthouse condo (complete with rooftop terrace and butler's pantry) for Fannie Mae execs to party in ($4.9 million).
-After Fannie Mae got caught fraudulently?misrepresenting?their accounting books you got the feds to ignore it and fine them instead of sending people to jail like Enron. You could say, used experience at Enron to steer investigators clear of actual penalties. ?
-Helped Jesse Jackson blackmail Fannie Mae into contributing money to his organizations in order to silence him from his baseless allegations of racist lending. ?
Need more? I'm trying to think but these are hard ones!?