August 2009 Weddings
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do any of you not get along with your BIL/SIL?
So, my cousin K. is getting married this summer, and her brother (R)'s wife (E) hates her guts (the wife was the one who kicked her out of her wedding party because she wouldn't help them lay their flooring down). Now, it looks like R. is going to be posted to a ship for the wedding, and the rest of us are taking bets as to whether E. will come to the wedding or not. What really sucks is how sad R is about the whole thing because his sister is trying to reach out, but E is refusing to make any effort whatsoever. For those of you who don't get along with their ILs, would you go to a wedding without your DH? Any suggestions for R or K?
Re: Do any of you not get along with your BIL/SIL?
I didn't go to my own sister's wedding because we didn't get along. I certainly wouldn't go to SIL wedding (if she wasn't already married) My SIL is the biggest B** on the face of the Earth. Her and her husband started a fight with one of the guests at our wedding. I cried at my wedding more because of Russ' sister (and husband) being a*holes.
It's almost better sometimes for that person (E) not to be there. That way, they are sure there is no unnecessary drama at the wedding.
That's a tough situation but I agree that it may be better that she not be there. Does her husband want her to be there?
FWIW, I can not stand my sister's boyfriend. I secretly wish they split up. He is a lazy piece of junk and other reasons. I would never go someplace just to meet up with him if she were not around.
I love my SIL, alot. But it's her boyfriend that I do no like. At all. He's arrogant and tried to tell me how to raise my dogs and also said I'd be lucky if he came to our wedding... he came, but mostly because my SIL begged him.
Anyway, I'd still go to their wedding (if they ever get married.. secretly I hope they don't), if Paul couldn't go. But that's just cause I love my SIL.
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Eek, that's a sucky situation. (I remember you posting about this wedding before.) I can't say for sure since I'm not in this situation, but personally I think I'd still go and hang out with other members of the family that I got along with. But like I said, it's hard to say without being in the situation.
I can't think of much in the way of suggestions. Maybe just reassure K that R still loves her despite the unfortunate circumstances (i.e. R being forced to miss it) and remind R to tell K that himself. I agree with the others that if E is the type of person to skip it all together, it's probably for the best that she won't be there causing drama. Having got married recently yourself, you can also probably reassure K that although she may be sad about it, it doesn't have to ruin her special day. Offer all the "I was so happy that day that nothing could get me down" cliches that you can.
GL!
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I should add that the dislike is one sided... and that there wouldn't actually be drama. We're not in high school, you know? No one is going to be yelling b!tch! across the room, you know? E. gets along with the rest of the family just fine.
I don't know, if she was my daughter in law and she didn't turn up for the wedding, I'd be pretty pissed off... and I know my aunt and uncle are going to be really disappointed too. It's really none of my business, except that I hate to see these siblings being forced apart. Should I have kids, I hope they aren't driven apart by their partners.
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