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Have to get this out...
There are so many things going on right now and I'm starting to spin. Here is a list of what's going on (beware, it's a little long)
1. I'm being pressured by my MIL to have our baby showers (we're having 2 - one for family given by my aunt and one for friends given by my cousin and my mom) sometime in February rather than March so it doesn't interfere with tax season (she's an Enrolled Agent). I've tried telling her I have little control since my family has been so generous to offer one in the first place, but she's still asking and it's p!ssing me off.
2. We haven't done anything for the baby's room. We haven't moved furniture, ordered anything, nothing. I have a few hand-me-downs and outfits/toys from Christmas, but nothing else. I'm starting to panic.
3. J and I need some new furniture badly and we have little to no money to buy furniture except for a glider for the baby's room. We've been sitting with a broken couch and a broken recliner in the living room for months, but I'm afraid to spend any money because we need it for the baby.
4. My birthday is on Wednesday and I don't feel like celebrating. at. all. J is planning this really wonderful evening with dinner at The Melting Pot in San Rafael but all I really want to do is stay home.
5. I'm having some major issues with my body. I've always had a tummy and now it's getting bigger. I know it's growing for a good reason and I've never taken that reason for granted, but I don't even want J to see my nekked. I take my clothes into the bathroom when I take a shower in the mornings and needless to say, I'm not comfortable in my own skin to "be" with him.
6. I'm terrified of labor. I've always been a person who enjoys being prepared for situations, and I like knowing what to expect. Labor is anything but and I'm so scared. I know in my heart that everything will be OK, but it's the idea that something will go wrong and there's no way I can fix it that scares me. That and the pain. I know I signed up for this knowing there would be some really significant pain involved, but I'm still scared of it. I don't want to wuss out.
I'm sorry that this is mostly baby-related but I needed to get it off my chest. If you've read this far, I owe you a big drink. Have one for me please, because I need one but sadly can't.
Re: Have to get this out...
Oh sweetie, those are all legitimate things to be worried about, especially when money and a baby are involved. As for your baby showers....let J handle her. You don't need the pressure of her on you. Have J deal with her on your behalf. Ignore her if you need to, this is the perfect reason. As for your furniture, watch craigslist. You will be amazed how many people are practically giving away baby furniture. Also, go to yard sales. If we were done with our baby furniture I would give you ours. Craigslist is an awesome thing. Also, do you guys have good credit? Many companies offer same as cash options for 6-18 months right now, you might be surprised how much credit you can get right now. That might help you get some new furniture. Also, consignment shops are great too.
As far as the labor goes, I too was terrified of the labor and delivery portion. You have a wonderful support system, whereas I did not. I was 23 when I was pregnant with K, and no one to help me. My mother refused to be there for me the entire pregnancy, and I had K's birthfather with me. Needless to say he couldn't help with the labor part much. Just trust your body, and everyone around you. Oh, and ask for the epidural. You do not have to do this pain free, there is nothing wrong with it.
As far as your body image goes, I have always had a pooch myself. Just remember that J loves you and everything about you. Find something about your body that do like, and show that off. Even after 2 full term pregnancies, I have a HUGE pooch. But I love (and DH does too) the boobs that came with it. So I show those off.
Talk to J about your issues...and let him talk. I am sure you will find that he doesn't notice.
Tea Time for Lulu
I just wanted to touch on labor for a minute...
Lo...labor was the most empowering thing I have ever done/gone through. If I could do labor again...I would do it in a heartbeat. Pregnancy? Not so much. I loved labor, as hard as it was, as long as it was (3 weeks of labor and 25 hours os active labor with 6 hours of pushing, needing an epi because the hip pain was trumping the labor), and as crazy as it got...it was a psychological win for me. I still look back on labor and fist pump the air and say "YEAHHHHH I DID THAT!!!"
I felt anxiety going into it, I think everyone does, it is normal. But I chose to rally myself and believe that it was going to be amazing and what I feel for it now is such a deep sense of pride, accomplishment, and toughness.
If I ever get the chance to go back into an academy...I will go back into it knowing that nothing can touch me now because I powered through something 90% of those guys will never understand and will only bystander.
Maybe I am a freak but I loved labor. I truly think it is a mindset.
Money Matters The other half's blog.
EJ is growing up too fast!
I wish more women would tell this type of story about labor! One of the things that scares me about getting pregnant is the horrific stories I have heard about labor. I never understand why women want to trump each other with these traumatic stories that basically scare the crap out of other women. It's like hazing or something!
Have you registered for baby stuff yet? I would start there and you will probably get more than you need for baby stuff. I would maybe put a rocker and ottoman on there for the baby room - maybe some friends will pitch in and get it for you?
And as far as labor, I gots nothing as I'm childless.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
Thanks for the advice and kind words, ladies. I ended up just letting loose with J (not on J) and telling him everything that's going on with me. He's known there was something up but I wasn't ready to give all the info because I didn't want him to think anything was his fault.
I know the fear of labor is normal, and the pain isn't so much what I'm afraid of (although I am fearful of it), it's the possibility that something can go wrong and I'll have no way of helping the situation. Being that we got pregnant after so much and all tests and ultrasounds show that she's perfectly healthy that they can tell, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. It just seems too good to be true that after everything going wrong that now everything is going right. I know I need to cut myself a break but I am my own biggest critic.
We registered at BRU on Saturday and it was fun, but tiring. Both J and I were exhausted when we were done.
Thanks again for everything!
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i'm w/ zoe on the baby's room. we moved when i was 7 months pg, so we were never able to do a room for dd. we had the basics and really that's all that matters - a place for the baby to sleep and somewhere to put their clothes, blankets, etc.
never underestimate what you might get at showers - you might not need to get anything if everyone buys you everything.
as for labor - it's different for every woman. women have been giving birth for centuries without fully knowing the mechanics of it all. we've survived.