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Baby vs. Debt (Long!)
Dh and I have some debt. We are not hurting horribly financially. All our bills get paid, great health insurance, 401K's, food on the table, reliable (knock on wood) cars, some extra money for fun stuff, house projects, etc. Plus we are paying 10 times the minimum payment amount on our credit card with the highest interest!
If we can keep doing what we are doing (fingers crossed that nothing major happens like job loss, etc) we should have our credit cards and my car paid off by May 2012. Dh's car will be paid off by Sept 2012. Then by Nov 2012 his student loan will be paid off. So the only thing we would have left to pay by Nov 2012 would be my student loan (we'll be paying that thing forever!).
DH and I had originally planned on TTC this April giving us at the earliest a Jan 2012 baby. However, I wonder if we should wait and time it so that the earliest we would have a baby born would be Nov 2012.
I know I have talked about this before on here (and I've probably asked this same question before. LOL). I'm just curious what others would do in this situation (even though I know this is a very personal decision that needs to ultimately be made by what feels right to DH and I). I've just been so conflicted whether to just go ahead and TTC or wait until we have all our debt paid off.
I'll be 33 in Feb (so if we didn't have a baby until Nov 2012 I would be nearly 35). I worry about not having enough $$ for baby and putting anything in savings, etc but I also worry about me and baby being at a higher risk of something going wrong the longer I wait to start TTC.
I want a baby, but I don't have "baby fever" at this point. I feel like I should have a baby right now because of my age, plus everyone else is having babies and I feel like I'm behind (yes, I know it's not a race, but really can't help feeling that way when I'm 33 and people constantly are asking when I'm going to have a baby). Really though, I feel like if I was younger I could definitely wait a few years.
Ugh..why can't I still be 25?! That would make things sooo much easier!!
Re: Baby vs. Debt (Long!)
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I had Ridley when I was 34 and we had no complications. Keep in mind that every person and every pregnancy is different though. I would not think twice about getting pregnant in my mid to late 30s, but that is just me.
Kids are expensive. Especially daycare. If you don't have baby fever and are determined to get your debt paid before TTC, then I would wait.
My short version - we were married 2 years before trying; DH was ready right when we got married, I was not. We hammered away at debt while waiting for me to be ready. Then came decision time, do we build our house or wait another 2 years and have a baby first? My baby rabies finally got the best of me, and we decided to wait on the house. So we are still hammering away at debt (although less is going to debt and more to daycare and baby stuff) and next summer we are finally building. We have cut a lot out - out to dinner only once a month, ALL coffee at home unless we have a gift card! (which really cuts back on my Timbit consumption), we've really cut back on the takeout especially if it is something I can make cheaper at home, no extras such as a new piece of clothing, etc. DH sold his snowmobile.
We have both cars paid off. Soooooo don't wait for financial reasons to have a baby. We didn't think we could afford a baby, but honestly it all just works out, and now we will still be able to build our home even if it meant putting it off just a little bit longer. I think the most important decision to make when deciding to have a baby is making sure both parties are absolutely ready - and you definitely know when you are! Good luck with your decision!
Hmmmm, I think DH and I had a very similar discussion about a year ago, and I definitely can feel for you on the difficulty of such a major decision! As you mentioned, it is ultimately a very personal decision, and only you and your DH can know exactly what is right for the two of you. That being said, I always think back to a conversation I had with my mom some time ago regarding financial stability and children. It is awesome that you two have set yourselves up for financial success by paying down/off all of your debts, and your plan seems super solid. For Ky and I, I think it really came down to the fact that while we realized we could always have more savings, pay off more debt (we've actually been very aggressive w/ this and are pretty much left w/ his student loans @ this point), and have more in our emergency fund, we realized life would pretty much always be like this, kid or not. Our deciding factor to move ahead w/ TTC was that we were both solidly employed, had heathcare coverage, felt comfortable with the savings that we did have, were at what we believed to be a good age and just generally felt like we were in the right place in our lives. As my mom said, there will never be a truly perfect time for a baby, but that's life. All you can do is know what's best for you two, and what feels right. Ok, I'll get off my ramblings now, but I think you have a great plan set in motion, and when the time is right to start TTC, you'll know. Good luck!
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. -Henry Miller
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I think that is completely awesome and responsible of you! Anyone who can plan and be in a good place financially before having kids is awesome. We are in debt. We don't have a time line and we don't see an end to our debt anytime in the future. We wanted kids and we put our priorities on having kids early. Plus, I'm still currently accruing school debt.
I would figure, like others said, what your priority (YOUR) is. If its getting out of debt and your rabies are tame - awesome! If this changes, you are free to change your mind
I admire your get out of debt plan. If that is your goal than go for it!
However I think that there is no "perfect" time financially to have a baby since things are always coming up. For us, we have our cars paid off, minimal credit card debt, mortgage and DH's student loans. Well we will be paying student loans for the rest of our lives so I am not going to worry about that, but we are planning on moving this summer so we could have easily pushed off baby making until then. After we move, we will likely have to get DH a new vehicle, so thats another 5 years of payments and my car will likely need to be replaced in the next 3-5 years. Throw in house remodeling, random appliances dying, roof replacement and all the other things that can go wrong and we would never have a baby!
We just went for it. You never know how long it will take to get pregnant. We have been tracking our finances lately so we know how much we spend eating out, ect. Knowing that it has been easier to cut back on spending.
I think this is a great way to put it. No one can really tell you the best time to have a baby. For me, I would want credit card debt gone, but wouldn't stress about car payments or student loans -- I just see debt like that as the cost of living, kind of like a mortgage or utilities. (We don't have a car payment because we bought ours used with cash, but I'll be paying my student loans until I'm 59.) Life is expensive.
I think this is a great way to put it. No one can really tell you the best time to have a baby. For me, I would want credit card debt gone, but wouldn't stress about car payments or student loans -- I just see debt like that as the cost of living, kind of like a mortgage or utilities. (We don't have a car payment because we bought ours used with cash, but I'll be paying my student loans until I'm 59.) Life is expensive.
What I'd say the determining factor would be is how badly do you want to get out of debt? Is it an "It would be nice to be debt free before baby" or is it an "I'm so fed up with being in debt that I will do anything and sacrifice everything to get rid of it"?
I think it all boils down to your comfort level with debt. If it's choice 1, I'd say it would be fine to TTC now. With this one, it seems that although being in debt isn't the preferred choice, it's not super stressful, and it will take a while to decrease the debt. If it's choice 2 and you're willing to sacrifice everything and anything to get out of debt, it may be worth waiting to TTC, as it will likely take a much shorter amount of time to get rid of the debt.
For us, we were fed up with debt and determined to be out of debt (except the mortgage) and an emergency fund before TTC. We got super serious. We both took tons of overtime and part time jobs that we were waaay over qualified for. I never even saw DH. I did not buy anything other than food and absolute necessities. I sold sold sold on craigslist and amazon. For the 16 months it took for us to get out of debt, we did not spend a single dollar on entertainment or going out to eat. I canceled magazine subscriptions. I made gifts. Every single dollar went towards debt. I'd say "Do we want to go out to eat or do we want a baby?" We lived off of nothing and paid off $51K in 16 months. It was super hard work, took a lot of dedication and will power. But because we were SO focused and serious about doing it, we did it. And let me tell you, I will NEVER forget that day we paid the last of our debt. And today, because of all that hard work, I requested for my status to be permanently part time. I couldn't have done that if we had debt. It was so worth it.
Looking back, I can't believe how crazy we were. I would never suggest anyone to do what we did...because it won't work. You have to have a drive like none other for it to work. Also, I don't know if it's the smartest thing to let $$ drive life long decisions. If I had to do it all over again, I would TTC a little earlier, because it took us a while to conceive. Maybe after out of debt, but before we had the emergency fund, because we still had 9 months while pregnant to save up?
If you do decide to be crazy like we were, I can help you if you'd like. But first, here's my questions for you to ponder: 1) Will I really be committed? Can I live off of nothing? 2) How long would it take to be debt free if I lived off of nothing for a while? 3) Could I generate extra income to speed the process along (selling stuff or another job)? 4) Am I comfortable in taking the pregnancy risks that go along with an 'older' maternal age? (I hate how mid 30s is considered 'older' in the pregnancy world).
I don't think there's a wrong decision, as pp said...it will work out. Just the fact that you're planning so much for this little angel makes me think that your son or daughter is a very lucky child for having such great parents!
Well we're taking a pretty modest approach to debt pay down. I would totally be willing to go to an extreme like you did.....but dh would never want to go to that extreme. He wants out of debt, just not as badly as I do. Although dh is trying to get his side business going (so that should help if he can make some money off that) and I'm trying to get going on selling things on Etsy.
We're doing pretty well though as far as putting extra payments towards debt. Like I had mentioned, we're putting 10 times our min payment towards debt. I'm using the snowball debt method (and using What's the Cost.com) so that really helps. In addition I'm doing all kinds of things to help us save money. ...going through every single bill and trying to lower interest rates, check to make sure we're getting best price on services (cable, insurance, etc), being better about meal planning, starting to bargain shop more, make cleaning products at home, etc. So we're doing quite a bit so hopefully should help.
If you have any other tips though, I would love to hear them!
Thanks for all the replies ladies! I still need to talk to DH, but I'm thinking I would like to be out credit card debt at least. Our original plan was to have a baby at the earliest in Jan '12. If we wait until the cc are gone, that's only 5 months later, so really I guess it's not that bad. I think meganmarie made a good point in that all of the other stuff can be considered general cost of living type stuff. It would be nice to have it ALL gone, but I'm thinking at this point to at least focusing on the credit cards before baby comes isn't too much further from our original plan. If after those are paid off we decided to keep going on more debt, then we'll deal with that at the time.
Maybe this will help with your decision (stolen from Carly's FB status).
I am late to this, but did want to agree with what most everyone is saying. I started trying for babies when I was 36, and the boys arrived when I was 37. Sometimes I wish that we waited to pay off debt before having babies, but in my case I would have been over 40 by the time I started.
Coming from someone who had children at AMA (I hated that title when it was given to me), my pregnancy was rough. (Yes I had twins but it was hard) I do find that there are days I am utterly exhausted, and wished I had done this earlier. Don't get me wrong it is so worth it. You appear to be very physically fit so that will make a difference.
I am now in debt up to my eye balls. I personally like the fact that you are considering paying off some debt. It doesn't sound like it will take that long to pay it off. However, you will never be financailly ready for a child as there is always the unexpected expenses that could come up.
Whatever you personally decide to do will be the best choice for you and DH.