Northern California Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hindsight Poll #1: Wedding Party
Looking back to your wedding...
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now?
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now?
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)?
Re: Hindsight Poll #1: Wedding Party
1) I really don't know, for some reason I have been thinking about this lately. I had virtually all family, my sister was my MOH and that would not change, and my BFF was a bridesman, and the other 2 were my cousins who are very much like sisters to me...but I have some really amazing female friends that I would consider adding now.
2) DH's would not change at all. His brothers and then his BFF from work, who he went through academy with and has always been close to, and his frat bro who he talks to a couple times a week even though they live 7 hours apart...very good people.
3) I think it is because we both chose people who are family or at least family to us and that is why it has been the same.
Money Matters The other half's blog.
EJ is growing up too fast!
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes, it was my cousin and my bff. I don't' think I'd have any other people up there.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? No. The last time he saw one of his groomsmen was at the wedding. And the dude left before dinner. SO weird. He never answered any calls from dh after the wedding... he just ended their friendship completely, immediately. I feel it's because I wouldn't let him wear his own vest and tie, I wanted his to coordinate with everyone else. That's the only reason we can think of.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? We haven't really developed any more friendships since the wedding - none wedding-party worthy, at least.1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Nope. I had two friends from HS that were in my side of the party that I would never have in it now. I would've chosen my cousin from the East Coast and my good friend KeyKey who's always been there for me.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? I think so. The groomsmen were all childhood friends of J's and he's still close to them so I would say they would stay the same.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? See #2. J's buddies are still his close friends and I'm glad he has them in his life.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? That's hard. We chose to do no family members in the wedding party, simply because someone woul be left out. I am much closer to many of DH's cousins and sister and I think maybe I would include some of them.
2) DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Not sure,his best man dropped off the face of the earth after the wedding. We don't really know why. They were friends since they were 8, so I hope at some point they are friends again.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? I believe that the girls in my party will be my friends forever. (at least I hope so) DH hopefully we reconnect with his old BF, so I would say that they will all be our friends for a long time.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? There is only one person I would switch out. It makes me sad that's even true, but it is what it is.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yep.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? We chose people we are close to...family members and two friends. At the time, I felt all the girls I chose were people I would know forever and people I have had a special relationship with. Dh felt the same...his guys (including my brother) are people that have been with us since the start of our relationship and they just seemed to fit right. The one person I would have switched out, is someone I hardly talk to anymore..someone who is totally different from me know. I wish I would have thought about it longer instead of jumping into things and asking that person to be part of the wedding party.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? I only chose people that I had either known a really long time (even if I wasn't as close to her anymore we're almost like family) and/or that were supportive of my relationship with DH (not all my friends were). I have no sisters no close cousins so none of mine were family. The only thing I might consider now would be having his sister. That would probably have meant having 4 instead of 3 attendants because there was a friend DH considered asking, too. DH's were very old friends of his and his brother.
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1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes, it was just my sister and I would have kept it simple that way.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? I am not sure. He and his brother were not that close but he did just b/c it was his brother.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? I think for us, it was simplicity. We have tons of friends and we did not want to single anyone out. That is why we included them in our ceremony (readings, rings, sand ceremony, etc.). I really liked it that way!!
Looking back to your wedding...
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? We were just married in November so nothing has changed. However 7/8 of our party was family and the other was my best friend who I'm pretty sure will be around forever.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes, because I only had my sister. I would add some friends if we were to do it again.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes. DH only had his brother. I think he'd include friends, too. (He probably would still want the sides to be even between us.)
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? We only had our siblings stand up for us. At the time, it was easiest for both of us to agree on.2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? I think so.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? All of mine were close long term friends + a cousin and my niece was a Jr. Bridesmaid. All of my long term friends and I have maintained our relationships, grown apart a bit but stayed in touch so I don't have any issue with that. I would add one of my BFF's that I had lost touch with for a few years and then started reconnecting just before the wedding, because now we're as close as ever again.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? No, My MOH would not be the same and a friend from elementary school would not have been in the wedding.I learned that my elementary school friend and I are a lot different than we used to be and I wouldn't have asked her to be in had I know that.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes, he wouldn't have changed anything.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? E isn't picky. His friends and my brother and cousin and his brother made up the wedding party and he was happy with that.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes. I might add another person but I would keep the others for sure too.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? I think it's partly that it's only been a little more than a year since we got married, and nothing much has changed since then. Also, I only chose three people who have all been friends with me for years, and are people I see in my life for years to come. Same for DH, though he also had two brothers as groomsmen and they'd be in the wedding either way.
1.) Mine would be just my current bff, not the one I knew I was growing apart from. I asked her out of obligation and hope
2.) Dh would probably just have his sisters husband stand with him, and leave out my brother. He is onlt 19 and got super drunk and complained the whole time. UGH!
Our whole party would be different. Instead of my 2 nieces, SIL, and friend it would have been SIL and 3 other friends.
Husband's party would probably have included one other friend instead of his cousin.
We've just all grown apart, and we've made much better friendships in the last 3 years than we had with anyone going in to the wedding.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? No. I had dual maids of honor, one of whom was my best friend in high school. I rarely speak with her now. I would rather it just had been my BFF (who was my MOH) and my SIL's.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Nope. DH's BM hasn't talked to him in a long time (he was the boyfriend of my MOH, and rarely talks with us anymore), and another of his groomsmen pretty much disappeared off the face of the planet.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? The ones who have not changed were either very good friends or family.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yes most likely.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? I only asked people I'm closest with, and I"m lucky enough to have FABULOUS friends who are great, and continue to be great and I think will be in my life for a long time. I tend to have very good, long friendships which I"m grateful.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? Yup, no changes.
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? I think one would be different.
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)? I had just my sister, DH's sister, and my two best friends (who are very sister-like). That's not likely to ever change.
1. I would have taken out one of my BMs and replaced her with someone else. She was pretty absent during the whole planning process, made a major stink when she did have to help with something, didn't show up for my shower, and then ruined my B-party. Two months after the wedding she stopped being my friend. I think I would have also added an extra girl.
2. I think DH would probably have the same people, but maybe added some more.
3. The people who would still be in there are still the same because they're really great people/friends.
Tea Time for Lulu
1- my side would be the same. i went w/ my 2 sisters to avoid any and all potential drama
2- in all likelyhood the same
3- my would be the same since they were my sisters, h might swap out one friend who doesn't live in CA anymore and probably wouldn't have been able to make it out from the midwest for another equally close friend.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now?
No
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now?
yes
3) If they are the same...why do you think that is (i.e. they were all family members, you did not have as wedding party, you JUST got married so nothing has had time to change, you only chose people who you knew you would know forever, etc)?
DH's side were 'forever' friends. Mine were not.
1) Would your side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? No. I would ditch one bridesmaid who I haven't spoken to since the wedding (long story).
2) Would DH's side of the wedding party consist of the same people were you to get married now? I think DH would have one less groomsman because he has tried to communicate every way possible with one of his groomsmen since the wedding and had no luck staying in touch.
1) For the most part, yes. I might consider switching out one friend for another, but only because that BM has since had a child, moved away, and it's been harder to KIT as life got busier. We're still good friends, but now only catch up sporadically whereas before we were roommates and spent a lot of time together.
2) I think DH might possibly switch out one GM, but again only because distance has made it harder to KIT.
3) My other BMs were my two sisters and my college roommate, and even the friend I might consider replacing is still a forever friend. DH's friends are all guys from college...basically, even the non-family members of our wedding party are like family members to us. We love them all and just wish we could all be living in the same city again like we used to.