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Need some wisdom
Hey ladies,
I'm actually a member of the Knot; I'm planning my wedding for next June. Wedding planning is going great but lately it seems my FI and I are in a bit of a rut. Last semester we were both in school, working full time, wedding planning... it was tough. Well, he just graduated wedding planning is mostly done so we get a bit of a break. I figured I would try to take this time to get try and get things back on track due to not seeing each other all semester.
The last couple weeks I've been trying to physically stir things up between us in bed. He just doesn't seem interested. I understand that he's going to be a little worn out, but I'm practically throwing myself at him and getting nothing. Today I knew he was coming home from work early so I sexied (I'm pretty sure that's not a word, but it's the best I've got), put on some new lingerie and waited on the bed until he got home. He walked in, barely looked at me, complained about traffic for a minute, called his friend and made plans to go out tonight and then told me he was tired and took a nap.
I guess I'm just trying to see if any of you ladies have any tips or tricks to get your guy in the mood. I feel like I'm using all my moves but they're just not good enough. I've asked him about it a couple times (today included) and he just tells me that he's tired. I get that, I get tired too, but a girl's got needs! lol
I just don't want to lose the spark before we're even married. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance. 
Re: Need some wisdom
Being tired isn't very much of an excuse. Sit him down and have a serious talk about why he doesn't want to have sex. Maybe he's stressed with work, has pre-wedding jitters, any number of things...
Just a question: Does he ever respond to lingerie? I mean, when you put on lingerie before, did that get him in the mood?
I ask because lingerie does nothing for MH. In fact if I were to put it on, I know I'm not getting sex that night. That's okay with me because I'm a little self-conscious.
I would hold off all wedding planning until this issue is resolved.
YOu and he need to discuss his nonparticipance at length, candidly and frankly. This should be a conversation of good length, not "oh it's jus that I'm tired."
He wasn't too tired to plan a last minute night out with his buddy. And wow, it's Chrismas Eve and he's not there with you?
I don't think it's the new job or wedding planning or prewedding jitters.
Don't take "I'm tired" as his reason; get down to the bottom of this and make sure that the outcome of the discussion is satisfactory.GL.
Am I the only one who's thinking that the OP's FI cheated, that's why he can barely even look her in the face?
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
I was thinking this as well!!
Well, let me start off by saying that I don't really know about that whole cheating comment. In fact, it wasn't even a thought until I read it. Regardless, I agree with some PP mentioning that there's more to the story than an "I'm tired." Sitting down with him would definately be a good idea. Stress is usually the reason, IMHO, that a guy will be disinclined to get busy. The whole idea of him going out with his friend may be his way of taking a moment to just breathe. Maybe try to get intimate on an emotional level before throwing the physical element out there.
I've been told by my DH that guys are relatively simple to understand: they typically see in black & white, whereas women tend to be in the gray about things. I'd suggest perhaps you try to back off for a little bit, but let him know that if & when he's ready to talk, you're open to listen & give him the support he'll need. Just be patient & try to put yourself in his shoes for a moment about things.
Hope this helps. Best of luck.
*oh yeah... & the whole sexied up lingerie thing ... I get what you're trying to do here, but perhaps let him pursue you when he's ready & he'll want to make up for the distance between you 2 lately.