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So. I went to the dr today.

:|

I think this sums up the experience well: The nurse got me all situated on the "table", on my knees, jeans pulled down, bent at the hips over the table, which was then declined so my head was pointed down (think inverted v). Then she covered me with basically a gown with a circle cut out of the middle.

I thought she had left the room and said to myself "Oh.My.***.God." But turns out she was still in there and left shortly after my commentary.

What kind of surgeon does dignity implants?

image Guess who?

Re: So. I went to the dr today.

  • i am pretty sure the nurse hears that every time. This sounds like something out of the kama sutra
  • I don't think dignity implants go in your hiney, so you'll probably have to see someone else about that.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Yes, it was very sexy like the kama sutra, for sure.
    image Guess who?
  • hahaha, no. I should clarify. The kama sutra horrifies me and seems like torture disguised as sexiness.
  • What the hell kind of doctor is this!?
    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I suspect it was not Dr. Feelgood.

    image

  • Moo, I believe the technical terms would include "gastroenterologist" or maybe "colo-rectal surgeon." I believe Seinfeld referred to them as "ass men."
    image Guess who?
  • So how is your butt?

  • Well among other things I learned today, I seem to be, literally, a tight ass. I don't think any of you need or want to hear any further detail (or for that matter, probably not the preceding detail either).

    BUT! On the bright side, based on the other patients in the office, I am pretty sure my butt is the nicest he has seen at work in a long time. Yeah me!

    image Guess who?
  • next time you go in, you should draw a smiley face on your butt in sharpie just to show you care.

    and having been to a gastroenterologist myself and seeing the asses normally examined, I wonder why people go into this field.

  • I always wondered this too, and I am even more curiouser today on this. I think it's one of the more lucrative fields of medicine, but not as much so as say orthopaedics or cardiac or neuro.

    So maybe the assmen are the ones who want to make a lot of money but aren't smart enough to do those other ones.

    image Guess who?
  • My boss's husband is an ass doctor. I didn't ask him why the one time I met him.

    image

  • You might be our only hope to resolve this mystery, noisy. You must meet him again and find the courage to ask.
    image Guess who?
  • I'll just walk into my boss's office tomorrow and say, "So, your husband. Why does he want to look at asses all the damn time?" 

    image

  • was this your doctor?

    image

  • imagenoisy_penguin:
    I'll just walk into my boss's office tomorrow and say, "So, your husband. Why does he want to look at asses all the damn time?" 

    Yeah and not even asses - but assholes! And not good ones. Except mine of course.

    image Guess who?
  • Gave him the 'ol browneye, huh.
    image Ready to rumble.
  • I feel the same way about podiatrists, but feet totally skeeve me out.
    Claire Elisabeth born at 27w1d on 2/20/11
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • imageskhynes:
    I feel the same way about podiatrists, but feet totally skeeve me out.

    Skyhiney! That's what I was today. Skyhiney.

    image Guess who?
  • imageKristenBtobe:
    Gave him the 'ol browneye, huh.

    Yep. Serves him right for being a butt doctor.

    image Guess who?
  • imageftnups:

    Skyhiney! That's what I was today. Skyhiney.

    HAHA!  Nice.

    Claire Elisabeth born at 27w1d on 2/20/11
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I would be more concerned if you didn't have a similar reaction to this kind of treatment.

    When I was a wee one, I had some tummy issues and a doctor of this kind ended up sticking his finger up there with not NEARLY enough warning for an eight year old.  Ever since then, I've been pretty suspicious about them.


    image
    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  • My BFF's dad is an assMD, I never thought to ask him.  Note to self.  I would imagine its a pretty cushy schedule, doing the scope up the poop chute thing.
    image
    Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
  • The mother of one of my best friends is an ass doctor.  I remember going to their house when we were kids and asking about the pictures she had on her desk.  She said they were photos of bowels.
    image
  • I've been to a GI doc and had the scope done on both ends but (HA!) I have never assumed (HAHA!) such a position!

    What's the drape for? To give him somewhere to aim with his finger?

    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I have to say, I really like my assdr.  He's a great guy and somewhat dreamy.  It makes the whole examining my assshole a little awkward, but w/e.
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • If I was positioned with my ass in the air, I would inevitably have to fart.  So the doc would either get an unintentional rectal blast or would be unable to see anything because I'd be clenching my sphincter as tight as possible.
    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Cali I think that's why they leave you in the room for a couple minutes alone in that position before the dr comes back. So you can toot and get any giggling fits under control.
    image Guess who?
  • I'm with SB . . . better "Oh.  My.  ***.  God." than: "uhmmm, this is niiiice.  Mamma likey."

    we have genetic ass problems in my family (okay, technically it's a colon problem) so I need to start looking for an ass doctor myself.  I don't want to be caught with my pants down.  Ooooooooooooh.

    image
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