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HTT: Paying bills
This started because I got that song "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" stuck in my head. (btw, I hate that song).
In an ideal world, assuming your husband is responsible and honest, would you rather he just pay all of the bills and handle the money in the household, or would you want to know what's going on, or have a part in the financial management?
Sometimes I think about the times, back in the day, when the husband handled everything, and the wife didn't deal with it at all, and I wonder what that was like, and if I could even live like that. Those days aren't that far behind us. For example, I'm pretty sure that is how it was run in my DH's house. On the other side of the coin, my parents, who are the same generation as the ILs, take the opposite approach -- dad makes the money, but mom is the one who handles paying the bills and everything like that.
Re: HTT: Paying bills
The bold-- totally me also.
In fact, I just budgeted today...he and I need to start cutting & saving BIG time before the baby is born...I feel like I have to set the precedent on this one, also. Kind of tough for me. We just need to sacrifice what we normally buy ourselves on a weekly/semi weekly basis and we'll be fine..but it kept me up for about 1.5 hours in the middle of the night last night.
I'm too much of a control freak to ever be ok with that. I actually enjoy handling the finances. H makes fun of me because I check our account balances multiple times weekly, but I like to always be on top of it. It feels good when we pay off a big bill or buy a large ticket item straight cash. Plus, he has not balanced his own check book in years (we still have a separate one each). His excuse is he always knows approximately what should be there, so it's ok. I, on the other hand, track every bit in my personal checking account and our joint.
Growing up my mom managed most of the finances, but I know at one point she passed it off to my dad because she got so frustrated with him not telling her about pulling cash out or forgetting to give her a receipt. Not sure how long that last though!
DH and I have 1 joint checking and 1 joint savings. It works very well for us. I know everything he purchases and he knows everything I purchase. We also have joint credit cards.
We are both very good with money for the most part. I typically pay the actual bills because I like to pay them the day they arrive. For bills due by the end of January, I usually have them all paid by January 1st if they are available.
I've seen too many marriages go wrong when it comes to money. I like that we both know EXACTLY where we are and I know neither of us have anything to hide (odd debts, where money is going, etc.) It doesn't work for a lot of couples, but it works for us.
i do most of the bill-paying. dh does some that are in his name... and he doesn't do anything online. we consult each other over spending/finances though. usually it's me giving him an update of what's in our accounts (everything is joint, we still have separate credit cards though)
my dad does all of the financial stuff. even when he was the only one working and mom was a SAHM.
i think i'd be okay with dh handling most of it, as long as he kept me updated what's in our accounts. currently, i just have more time and like to be able to check account balances online.
I've always wondered if it's possible to maintain separate accounts if the wife is a SAHM.
I'm the same way as Melissa [don't exactly remember her exact wording, but I'm just like that]. H and I have separate accounts, but we have access to each other's. We'll combine them once JJ and I move.
H isn't all that great with money - which has gotten us into trouble. So I started handling the bills and getting us back on track. I always share with him what I've done, how much money has gone where etc., but paying on two households means we have to be more careful with our money than before...and H just doesn't get that yet. I'm a natural worrywart and stay on top of stuff like that, and he doesn't - so we have an agreement that, as long as I'm transparent with our finances, I handle them.
Every Friday after work, my parents would sit at the kitchen table with my dad's paycheck (and later both paychecks) and the bills, and figure out what was getting paid, what was going in the bank, and what each was taking in cash for the week. This was pre-credit cards, pre-ATM cards, etc. And they had only joint checking & savings. For point of reference, they were born in 1946 & 1948.
So that's what I grew up seeing. I had no idea anyone did it any differently until I started practicing law and would have divorce clients come to me not knowing what their spouse's job title was, what his/her income was, whether or not s/he had gotten raises over the years, etc. I was kind of flabbergasted.
When E & I got married, he was with WaMu and I was with a tiny bank, so I gave up my personal account and we got a joint acct at WaMu, which has since been eaten by Chase. He kept his personal acct too, which I don't have a problem with... and I have all his logins and passwords anyway. There's like $10 in there most of the time. He's had to use it a few times, like when the bank decided that there was a suspicious purchase on his ATM card to the joint acct, so he was able to go online, move money from joint to his personal acct, and then use the personal ATM card. We both know everything; more than half the time I'm the one depositing both of our paychecks, sometimes it's him.
As for bills, they kind of ended up split, though it wasn't by design, and they're all paid out of the joint acct. So I keep track of the rent & pay that. The car insurance is under my name, so I get the reminder emails, but it's an automatic withdrawal, as is our Netflix and my WW. The PSE&G is under my name, but I forwarded him the login info, so he pays that. I pay the credit cards. I get the phone bill emails and forward them to him (those accounts are in my name too) and he pays them. Not sure why that worked out that way, but I don't care.
I'd happily let him keep track of everything and pay it, as long as I have access to our accounts and can see everything and know what's going on. It's just boring for me, and I'd rather be doing other things than paying bills. But I wouldn't just turn everything over and not worry about it. That's SO not my nature.
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H is a financial adviser, but I pay all of our bills. Where's the sense in that?
I have come to actually enjoy it. I like knowing where our money is at, when bills are due, how our accounts look, etc. We are within 3 months of paying off H's CC debt from when the stock market plummeted and I am so proud of our efforts!
As for the original question, I used to just want H to take over everything but now I don't think I could handle sitting back and not knowing what's up with our money.
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This is us exactly, I would love for him to take over the budget, but after a long discussion we decided I was the better choice to take care of everything...which by the way...is scary.
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We keep separate bank accounts and one joint account for mutual bills.
The reason I started originally paying the bills was because Greg moved in with me, I would pay all of the bills, and he would reimburse me for half of what he owed. We got the joint account when wedding expenses kicked in, and I naturally fell into that roll.
Since he works in banking, he keeps an eye on our joint account, but he doesn't have access to my personal account, nor I his. He's more then welcome to it, he's just never asked. That's his money.
We both track our personal accounts with Quicken and iBank, so the accounts are always balanced and up to date.
I wouldn't mind if he took over, doesn't bother me a bit. I just work from home and have more time to make sure things are all organized and paid on time. He's extremely responsible, so it really wouldn't bother me either way.