Northern California Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hindsight Poll #2: Guest List
Looking back...
1) Did you have guest list drama?
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary?
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again?
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now?
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list?
Re: Hindsight Poll #2: Guest List
1) Yes, way too much.
1a) Not at all.
2) Yes and no.
2a) there are about 10 people I would un-invite now.
3) Oh man....there are probably 15 more people I would have invited and regret not inviting now.
Money Matters The other half's blog.
EJ is growing up too fast!
1) Did you have guest list drama? I didn't know it at the time, but apparently I did.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? Nope.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? No. I would've invited less quantity and more quality.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Yes. There's definitely a few.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? I would've opted for a smaller wedding at a more upscale location. I loved our reception venue but we were pretty much pushed to have a minimum number of people in order to get the room we wanted.
1) Did you have guest list drama? Not as much as I would have thought, considering our 300 person list. But yes, there was drama.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? Not really. We could have put our foot down more, and it would have been fine.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Ehh. Not so many of our parents friends, who will haven't talked to since or will probably ever talk to again.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? No. Everyone who was there, was there for a reason (we wanted them there, or our parents did)...and truthfully there was no drama at the actual wedding, so it was fine.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Cut the list in half. No question.
1) Did you have guest list drama? Sort of, I originally wanted a smaller, more intimate wedding but that was before I knew how important family friends were to DH and his family.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? I don't think it could have been avoided
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Yes actually now it would have been harder to cut it down, I think.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? I don't think so
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? I would have sprung for the rented chairs.
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1) Did you have guest list drama? Yes.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary?No...my ILs kept asking if they can invite this person b/c they asked about DH (really, asking about DH warrants an invite??) After DH talked them several times
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again?Most of them...some of them I would not have invited
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Yes, some of the IL's neighbors that kept saying they were coming but never did.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? I would have invited less people on DH's side and invited my boot camp friends but at the time, I did not know them that well.
Looking back...
1) Did you have guest list drama? Yes, MIL sent her list over with 150 people, our original TOTAL we were going for was 80.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? No because most of them didn't come (lots of east coasters)
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Sure
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? No
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Not let the total invites freak me out
1) Did you have guest list drama? Luckily, no.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? n/a
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Many of the same people, yes.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Since DH's work partners change once a year and it isn't possible to invite all of his coworkers, then those who were invited wouldn't be invited now. His current work team would be...if that all makes sense.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Lower my expectations of people. Some good friends of mine who I thought without a doubt would be there, didn't come. While at the time it was hurtful, I now look back and remember those who were there and the fantastic time I had with them.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? N/A
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Yep.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? No....
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Not put DH in charge of getting the invites out. Some people got save the date's and no invites, some invites went to the wrong addresses.
1) Did you have guest list drama? Not really, DH's aunt didn't RSVP and then proceeded to call MIL and tell her the week before she was coming.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? That's how aunt is, it bothered me at the time but its no big deal now. And there was no other drama.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Yes, E and I worked really hard on our guest list. There are a few people that I wish I could go back and add but overall I would invite the same people.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Nope.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Like I said above I would add a few people, but other than that I would do everything the same.
1) Did you have guest list drama? Minimal. We wanted a small guest list and there were a few people who took it personally. We didn't make a fuss about it.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? I suppose that depends on your perspective
If it were up to me, everyone would behave like adults and respect our decisions and move on.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Pretty much, yes. If we had a slightly bigger budget, there are probably a dozen or so other people I would have liked to invite but I don't dwell on it. No huge regrets.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? There is only one person that I still am kind of pissed we invited (because DH insisted). Since we had such a small list, there were people I wanted to invite and didn't, and I just felt like the invitation was wasted on him. He's not someone we hang out with often and I don't think he's the greatest person.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Not really. I think we handled it as best we could.1) Did you have guest list drama?
Yeah, kinda. We told MIL our venue would only hold 150 people. She handed us her guest list, 220 people. Then was irritated because her golf buddies kids got married and invited them..blah blah blah.
Also, my mother didnt want my father to go.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary?
looking back, it should have been a warning sign to elope! haha, my mom made a scene at my wedding =(
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again?
mostly. I really think we would elope though. My grandparents were the reason I wanted a traditional wedding, my grandma raised me and I wanted my grandpa to walk me down the aisle, but my grandmother ended up passing away a few months before the wedding.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now?
my mom
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list
not really
1) Did you have guest list drama? A little.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? In my opinion, no, but other people clearly seemed to think it was worth fussing over.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? There are a few friends who have become closer since who I wish could have been there.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Yup. The b!tch we begged dh's friend not to bring, even though she was his fiancee and mother of his baby... only he turned out not to be the daddy. Now she ruins one of my wedding pics.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Not really. The minor drama couldn't be avoided, really.1) A little bit, but mainly because my mother wouldn't let me invite more than a certain number of people. Nothing about specific people, though.
1a) No, I should have just gone behind her back and invited people. She wouldn't have noticed and we had less people reply yes than what her max was.
2) Yes, plus a few more.
2a) No, although I might have changed my BP around. Just taken out one girl and added a different one or two.
3) I would have worried less about a few people who I thought might cause drama. They didn't show up, so no drama happened.
Tea Time for Lulu
1) Did you have guest list drama? Oh yes. DH was the first of his parents' children to get married, so they wanted to invite every person they had ever met to the wedding.
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? Not really.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? For the most part, yes. We should have stood up to DH's parents a bit more on who they invited, but overall, I was happy with the event.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now?
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Not really. I loved my wedding.
1) Did you have guest list drama? Nah, nothing big.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? We had a small wedding (only 50 people), but I still wish I had cut down a bit.
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Just some of DH's friends who we haven't spoken to since the wedding. And my bosses who didn't show.
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? I'd have a Nestie table if I was doing it now.
1- yes but it was totally unrelated to me and i couldn't have cared less about it
1a- no - mom was making a mountain out of an anthill
2- yes
2a- no
3 - no
my wedding was easy to plan - no inlaws and VERY hands off parents. they realized it was our wedding and we were old enough to plan it ourselves. my mom's first wedding was essentially planned my her mom who ignore my mom's requests. mom swore she would NOT do that to her kids.
1) Did you have guest list drama?
Not really...
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary?
what was, needed to be
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again?
pretty much
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now?
the person who canceled the day of
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list?
no
1) Did you have guest list drama? Not really. A few people were upset about us not inviting children, but we explained the situation to these guests and they seemed to be okay with our choice.
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? Yes
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? No
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? No
1) Did you have guest list drama? Yes
1a) Looking back was the drama necessary? No, they simply shouldn't have been there to start with... see #2
2) Would you have invited the same people all over again? We invited a ton (for our size wedding) of DH's military "friends" and they were drama from beginning to end...
2a) Is there anyone you would un-invite now? Yes, the aforementioned "friends".
3) Anything else you would have done differently with the knowledge you have now associated with the guest list? Nope, just the above.
Women don't want to hear what men think,
women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice