Sex & Romance
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Self image
I'm not super confident about my body right now, and I wonder if DH is feeling dissatisfied at times but not saying anything. I'm apple shaped and not overweight but I really don't like how my middle area looks and sometimes I feel really gross. It's hard to find a lot of flattering clothes since I'm pretty petite and the whole apple shape throws a kink in it. Do you think it's something worth bringing up or do I need to stop thinking about this?
Re: Self image
KNow what looks great pretty much on any body type?
Tankinis and tankini-style lingerie. Find some in a color that flatters you; they have them in daywear and a more racy style for nightwear.:)
Have you got great legs? A great butt? why not play those up?
If you're not overweight, I can't see how you'd be an apple shape. To me, that implies somebody who carries all their weight above their waist, rather than below.
You might also want to look into dresses and tops with a Queen Anne neckline. They're great for ladies of all sizes and shapes; if you're not familiar with what the silhouette looks like, google it and you'll see.
My mom is apple shaped, even though she is thin. She knows how to dress her body though and she looks quite hot, IMO. She wears a lot of slim cut pants and jeans (like skinny jeans, but she chooses more age-appropriate ones) and flowy tops with cardigans or loose sweaters.
Lingerie helps too, like TM said. Tankinis and flowy babydolls are flattering on everyone and they help you feel pretty and romantic.
I think it's normal to feel like this sometimes...Just remember, nothing looks better than confidence! Your H married you because he's attracted to you, so don't be so hard on yourself!Oh so very true.
I recall a girl in highschool who was tons of fun,had self confidence and was never short of dates. She wasn't wild either. Even though she had fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch with her face, it didn't seem to matter. She just took good care of what she had. Stayed clean, a little make up, decent wardrobe and was a joy to be around.
Anything on top that draws the eye up will make any body type look thinner and taller.
Whch is why I suggested interesting eye catching necklines -- you might also try shirts that are gathered or ruched. V necklines also help.
Yeah, that's exactly it. you can only see an actual waist curve from the back, but even then it isn't super noticeable. I just bought one of those shirts that are wide in the neck and have very baggy sleeves and it fits sort of like a shawl. I wish I knew what they're called but they're very slimming and cute!
Here's something similar: http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/tops/shirtsblouses/PRD~734213/Mudd+Smocked+Top.jsp
They're almost like ponchos!
He won't care unless you make an issue of it.
Case-in-point: When I met my husband, I weighed about 80 lbs. less than I do now - and I was not a small woman then, either. He doesn't give a crap, and you know why? Because I don't give a crap. My body is my body, and it is my right to love it and be comfortable in it. When I do, and when I am, he's interested, because my body can still give both of us pleasure.
But the minute I start b!tching and moaning about how ugly I am, he's turned off. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't like herself.
Your body is not, and will never be, a problem for a man who loves you. Just try to see yourself in the same way he does - as a sexy, wonderful woman - and I can guarantee you, you'll start to feel sexier.
Also, your body is not the reason clothes don't fit. Clothes don't fit because they're made for one specific body type - the fit model - and you probably aren't her. The clothes are always the problem, never your body. Just keep trying to find styles and shapes that work best on you.
@baconsmom
That last paragraph? So true.
Another thought for you; I'm one of those people who always wants to try to lose weight or make myself better, and although I don't go off the deep end like so many women do, I really need to find a realistic standard for myself. Like, I know that bc of my body type I'm not going to have that perfect super small waist that lets me wear certain shirts, and that's fine, but I need to know where to draw the line when it comes to considering myself "fat." I know that I'm not as fit as I could be, and I have plenty of cushion around the middle and not the biggest tush on the block! But is it really that big of a deal? I'm not a freaking athlete or anything! I grew up with a super health conscious family that viewed butter as the eighth deadly sin, so I think I have some drastic perspectives sometimes.
I highly encourage you to read some Fatshionista or the archives about Fat Acceptance 101 at kateharding.net. (You can also Google "Fat-o-sphere" and you should get a good list of fat-positive blogs.)
I am a fat woman, have always been a fat woman, and it took me a long time to get to a place where I'm able to recognize that my body is my body, and that it deserves care and love no matter what size it is. Despite having a lot of fat relatives and a completely clean bill of health from my doctors, I bought into the idea that I was a problem to myself, that I was obviously not treating myself properly because I was still fat.
That's just not true. I've always been fat, and I'll always be fat (God willing, I don't get some wasting disease!), and that's OK. That's me. That's what my husband finds attractive.
But it's amazing how much better life gets when we can learn to accept and love ourselves. My health has improved since I did it: I quit smoking, I exercise more, I eat better foods. And yes, I got bigger doing that, but I also had a baby and learned to eat intuitively instead of starving all the time because I thought I should only have X calories a day or whatever. My body just evened itself out after years on the yo-yo.
Best of luck, and if you want to discuss any of this further, please feel free to PM me!
I'm with you on a couple of points but............... Regarding your short and long term health. It's not worth "cutting off your nose to spite your face" to annoy your family by being heavy.
Besides the issues of clogged coronary arteries, high blood pressure & stroke. Diabetes runs rampant in overweight people. My aunt went blind and lost her legs above her knees due to diabetes. She would rather stuff her face with candy and Kraft Dinner. Buried her just before Christmas.
Then there is the stress on knee joints due to being overweight. Replacements if you can afford them still don't work as well as your own healthy knees.
lg
I am completely healthy, as my doctor can attest. Fat does not equal unhealthy, and I suggest you do some research about junk science and the diet industry before you assume you know how healthy I am. There is no stress on my joints; my blood pressure is perfect; and I tend toward low blood sugar.
Fat people generally don't eat any differently than thin people. Anyone who "stuffs their face with candy and Kraft dinner" is going to be unhealthy.
But thanks for the concern trolling! It was awesome to read that you're my doctor, and know everything about me and my body! /sarcasm