Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

My Sister vs. My SIL

My families are BSC.  Fair warning, I will be dd this later, I think some of my IL's come on here.

Background:  My 18 month old niece is in the hospital with bronchiolitis (sp?).   She'll be out in the next day or so, but dh and I went and visited her last night.  I hadn't told any of my family that she was sick (honestly, it never came up in conversation).  Last night my dh (who just discovered the places feature on facebook) "checked in" him and I at the local children's hospital (it basically just shows up as person A and person B are at Random city's Children's Hospital).  My sister, who is always teasing us about when we are going to have kids, immediately responded, "Congratulations!  When is the impending family addition due?!"  She was clearly joking, but then dh's other sister (not the mom to our niece, his other sister) responded chewing my sister out, saying that her poor niece is in the hospital, yada, yada, yada.  I found this ironic since SIL hasn't even visited niece in the hospital.

So dh sent a pretty strongly worded message to his sister, who hasn't responded, and I'm just shaking my head.  On the one hand considering the circumstances what my sister said was borderline inappropriate, however in the context (she said it to dh and I, who knew exactly what she was saying and laughed, plus she doesn't even know our niece).  We've had a lot of problems with SIL because she's very dramatic about everything, ugh... it's just frustrating.  Thank God the holidays are over, too much family time drives me batty.

PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Cat tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Re: My Sister vs. My SIL

  • Why did your husband have to announce on Facebook that you guys were at the hospital anyway? Why would anyone on your Facebook page even care about that? (If they are close enough to your SIL and niece to know that the niece is sick, then I assume they'd already know that Niece is in the hospital and they don't need to read about your trip to see her on Facebook.) 

    SIL overreacted at your sister's comment, which clearly wasn't intended to insult your SIL or your niece, but if (a) she's stressed out about her daughter being sick, and (b) you know she's a drama queen anyway, your husband shouldn't have responded to her ridiculous rant. Over an e-mail/text, no less. Issues should be discussed in person. Things can easily get misconstrued over the Internet and texts.

    Lesson learned - lay off the social media.

    And, if your husband insists on going back and forth with his sister like a pair of immature children, make sure that YOU stay out of it.

    image
  • Maybe this should be your sign to stop sharing information that no one needs to know - like "checking into" places on facebook when not everyone has that particular information and can't draw the same conclusions.
  • The only reason that someone would be at a children's hospital is because a child is sick.  I can't see why your sister would find this a good time to make a joke, but also I can't imagine why your husband would be checking in his location on FB when he's at a children's hospital.
  • Why on earth do people "check in" to places on FB.... really.  Just stop doing that.
    Blog: Not to be Koi

    Sara, Friend?
    image
    glove slap. I don't take crap.
  • If people in my life started a "fight" on FB, I would delete my post/update.

    Then I would ignore the drama llama.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • It's facebook. Delete the comments and move on. Avoid playing into SILs drama
  • imagembcdefg:

    Why did your husband have to announce on Facebook that you guys were at the hospital anyway? Why would anyone on your Facebook page even care about that? (If they are close enough to your SIL and niece to know that the niece is sick, then I assume they'd already know that Niece is in the hospital and they don't need to read about your trip to see her on Facebook.) 

    SIL overreacted at your sister's comment, which clearly wasn't intended to insult your SIL or your niece, but if (a) she's stressed out about her daughter being sick, and (b) you know she's a drama queen anyway, your husband shouldn't have responded to her ridiculous rant. Over an e-mail/text, no less. Issues should be discussed in person. Things can easily get misconstrued over the Internet and texts.

    Lesson learned - lay off the social media.

    And, if your husband insists on going back and forth with his sister like a pair of immature children, make sure that YOU stay out of it.

    I read it as the SIL who is NOT the mother of the child and did not even bother to visit the niece getting her panties in a bunch and over reacting.

    Frankly, telling people where you are on Facebook is an invitation for someone to rob you while you are away from home. Your DH handled his sister and I'm sure your sister felt bad after finding out the real reason for visit. Don't feed the drama.

  • It is not the SIL who's daughter is sick, it is his other sister (who did not even visit niece). SIL is just not a good person, she does drugs, has no responsibility, and we just found out yesterday she's moving back in with MIL (SIL is 27, MIL still has two young children to take care of. Dh heard all that and just snapped, although his email to her wasn't harsh (I just read it), he said that her response was not okay and if she has an issue with someone in my family she needs to come to dh. Anyways, I agree about the checking in places (though to be fair we only have close friends and family on our pages, well I don't check in so it doesn't matter). My sisters comment was ill timed and not thought through at alln but it wasn't malicious in intent. She, of coursen feels awful. We already blocked reading any of silks posts (she is disgusting and borderline pronographic on fb) but perhaps we should stop her from reading any of ours. I'm not getting involved at all, just very eye roll worthy.
    PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Cat tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Sorry for all the typos, my phone sucks.
    PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Cat tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • What is it with people and the constant drama on Facebook? UGH!

    My Blog - Life, Love and Laughter No government can dictate who we love. Life is short...so do what feels right!
  • Your sister and SIL were both wrong.  And your DH is wrong for checking into facebook when he is visiting a sick niece. It seems weird for your sister to joke about you being in the hospital without knowing why you were in there.  And for your and DH, to laugh when you are going to visit a sick child.....It seems inappropiate.  It was not a private joke between the three of you.  It was on FB.   

     I at least understand why your SIL would correct your sister.  I think you are making your SIL more wrong because obviously you do not like her.  I am sure she cares about her niece even though she was not able to visit.

  • imageallisonjourney:

    Your sister and SIL were both wrong.  And your DH is wrong for checking into facebook when he is visiting a sick niece. It seems weird for your sister to joke about you being in the hospital without knowing why you were in there.  And for your and DH, to laugh when you are going to visit a sick child.....It seems inappropiate.  It was not a private joke between the three of you.  It was on FB.   

     I at least understand why your SIL would correct your sister.  I think you are making your SIL more wrong because obviously you do not like her.  I am sure she cares about her niece even though she was not able to visit.

    She was able to visit, she chose not to.  MIL was taking my other BIL and SIL (both very young) and my other SIL didn't go because a good tv show was on.  When DH "checked in" to facebook it was before we were in the room, we weren't sitting in there on our phones.  If my SIL wants to "correct" her (though not sure one what, making an inappropriate joke?  Not her place) then fine, but she called her all sorts of names that are completely unacceptable.  Do you really think we were laughing at a sick child?  Can you really not see the difference?  My sister made a joke, having nothing to do with my niece whom she doesn't even know, and we both rolled our eyes and giggled.  My response, when we left the hospital, was going to be, "you wish.  Actually insert niece's name is sick with bronchiolitis."  Then my sister would have given the normal apologies, etc...  Seriously, you are allowed to laugh in the vicinity of the hospital, you know that right?

    My dh shouldn't have checked in places, that's his thing.  My sister made an joke at a bad time.  My SIL verbally chewed out my sister for no reason.  Also, she didn't just not go... she never called my SIL (the mother of the child) either.   

    PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Cat tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • imageFMIL&MOB:

    Frankly, telling people where you are on Facebook is an invitation for someone to rob you while you are away from home. Your DH handled his sister and I'm sure your sister felt bad after finding out the real reason for visit. Don't feed the drama.

    Exactly!  Might as well just write, "Hey, I won't be home for the next several hours.  This would be a great opportunity to steal my TV." 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagest.lucia bride:
    The only reason that someone would be at a children's hospital is because a child is sick.  I can't see why your sister would find this a good time to make a joke, but also I can't imagine why your husband would be checking in his location on FB when he's at a children's hospital.

    Many children's hospitals also include Maternity floors and then the nurserys for the babies- so that babies and moms are in the same place.  So, if you needed any type of prenatal testing done, it would be at the Children's Hospital, along with the actual delivery. There are lots of pregnant women in the Children's hospital I work at.

  • Poorly thought out joke on your sister's part, worse overreaction by your SIL, and the worst offender is your husband for even posting that. I hate those apps where you "check in" to the location you entered, like others said, it's an open invite to rob your house.

    But if your husband insists on using that app, then he needs to learn more discretion in the appropriate time and place to use it. Hospitals, doctor's offices, anything that could potentially set off an "emergency" red flag, should be a big no-no... if not for your own privacy, then for the privacy of those you're going to visit.

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards