Family Matters
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helpless!

My brother will be starting college soon and I am afraid that his girlfriend will try to get pregnant so he will be with her forever!  And don't think that I'm saying all girls try to do that b/c I have known of guys to do it too.  She is a freshman in college.  She has no friends, goes to school and then waits on him to get out of highschool.  She is always with him and when she isn't, she is calling him every 10-15 minutes (literally).  His way of dealing with it and justifying it is, she is a great girlfriend and when she gets too clingy he threatens to break up with her and she stops. I told him that is just stupid.  He says he isn't serious about her and when he goes to college he is going to break up with her.  I told him he needs to quit leading her on and quit having sex with her.  Of course this made him uncomfortable.  I told him that she only wants him and she will do anything to keep it that way, which could lead to her getting pregnant.  He got really defensive and I haven't brought it back up since.  (That was about 4 months ago)  I don't want to push him into her arms but, he is so naive and he thinks he is so wise.

Here is one example of how crazed she is over him:  One day we were talking about how much his grandma loves him (she is my step-grandma) and she said "Well, she is old and will be dead soon.  Then he will be all mine."  I told her that she shouldn't talk that way and that he loves his grandma very much.  I didn't blow up on her because it really shocked me.  I figured I would tell my brother and he would handle it.  When I did, he said he couldn't believe she said that and he would talk to her.  I have more examples if needed.

Re: helpless!

  • You have expressed your opinion to your brother and shared your concerns. Leave it alone. If and when he has had enough he will end the relationship and there is nothing more you can do about it.
  • I think this is a mind your own business situation...I mean the only thing worse then a clingy girlfriend is a clingy sister overinvolved in her brother and his clingy girlfriends sexlife
  • If your brother doesn't know enough on his own not to knock up a girlfriend in college (let alone a crazy one), then a lecture from you isn't going to make him see the light.

    Butt out.

    image
  • I've only mentioned the sex one time.  Its not something I bring up b/c it does make me uncomfortable but I just wanted to state it one time and it didn't go over well.  I also agree that I need to mind my own business, I haven't said anything since 4 months ago but inside I'm jumping out of my skin.  I am really protective of him since he is so much younger than me; he is so trusting and kind, I just want his life to be better than the mistakes I have made. 
  • I also brought up the sex because he said he had to go by my house for something while I was at work.  When I came home, him and his gf were there (had been there for about 4 hours) and someone had obviously been in my bed.  I didn't say anything then, but I told him later that he is not going to be alone at our house with her again b/c I'm not going to be responsible for anything that happens.  I told him to treat my house with just as much respect as our parent's. And then I said the other...

  • Why was he in your house?

    If you suspect that he's having sex there, don't let him come over when you're not home. If you're leaving the house, insist that he leave at that point and lock the door behind you.

    If he has a key to your house, get it back from him, and/or change the locks.

     

    Other than that, MYOB.

    image
  • I honestly don't remember why he was over there but he needed in so I told him where the spair key was.  I did tell him he couldn't be over there alone anymore, that I just can't trust that nothing will happen and I removed the spair key.
  • I wouldn't be shy about handing him a box of condoms and showing him how to use it. If I wouldn't/couldn't do it, I'd make certain that someone else did. Today.

    It'll be a lot more uncomfortable showing him how to change a diaper. 

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • imagelivinitup:

    I wouldn't be shy about handing him a box of condoms and showing him how to use it. If I wouldn't/couldn't do it, I'd make certain that someone else did. Today.

    It'll be a lot more uncomfortable showing him how to change a diaper. 


    THis exactly.

     

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