October 2010 Weddings
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Husband's friends distancing themselves?

Jason has a really small group of guy friends; it pretty much consists of his brother, cousin, and two 'bestfriends'.  The bestfriends (Ryan and JB) have recently started hanging out together all of the time and not inviting Jason, or if Jason invites them to do something, they always blow him off.  They both promised they'd come to our NYE party but at the last minute said they were going to Baltimore to meet up with some girls instead.  This is really upsetting Jason because these were guys he saw all the time, especially Ryan.  Ryan used to come to our apartment at least 4-5 times a week to hang out but since the wedding he's only been here maybe 5 times total.  JB has always been single but Ryan just got out of a 3 year relationship right after the wedding so I feel like they just want to do the single/bachelor thing together and feel like they can't include Jason because he is married.

I just feel so bad for him.  It's not like getting married has changed anything for us and it's not like we act different at all, but I feel like his friends view him different.  On a positive note, he still has good relationships with his brother and cousin; his brother is married with a little baby and his cousin is dating my best friend (score for me! lol), but they both live an hour away, so he doesn't get to see them too often.  I just want his friends to realize just because he's married, doesn't mean he's all of a sudden a boring tied-down guy.

Have any of you noticed friends distancing themselves from you or your husband?   

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Re: Husband's friends distancing themselves?

  • Joe had this problem when we moved in together. His friend were/are just in a really different place. I wish they were closer, but Joe doesn't seem to mind. A bunch of them moved away, and there's a few that just can't seem to let go of high school. Not that in the sense that they're immature or can't grow up, but they still have keggers every weekend, they smoke like chiminies and drink like fish.

    While we're trying to pay off our debts, plan for a family and get ahead in our jobs, they're just paying the bills and having a good time... not that that's a bad thing. 

  • We have a single male friend and we understand when we invite him to something that if he gets a better offer he will blow us off. We chalk it up to just a single thing. He does keep in contact through email/text, etc. So we make sure our plans are not dependent on him but still let him know.

    As for your HB doing things with hiw friends, consider times when singles are not typically dating such as early daytime activities on the weekend. Male bonding things like fishing. NYE is a time to party so I understand why they went to do their own thing then.

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