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I'm either in wedding withdrawl or depressed or both
I haven't been on here much lately. I haven't been doing much lately, especially the last two weeks. I just don't feel like doing anything. I have been exhausted. I am not the kind of person to take naps unless I am sick, yet I spent all of Christmas asleep pretty much and Monday evening too. My head has been hurting and I feel like I'm just about to pass out asleep sometimes. I can't seem to get out of bed before 11am (luckily my work hours are flexible) and I have gained 20lbs since the wedding. I cry easily. I am in a serious funk and don't know how to get out of it.
DH and I work opposite hours, so I only really get to see him on Sunday and Monday evening. Neither of us have any family here. The only friend I have left here is my MOH and she doesn't spend much time with me since she started dating someone. I have never met any friends at work and tried some sports, but it seems like everyone in my age bracket has moved away. Everyone is either 21 or 45. I am 31, so I don't have a ton in common with either group, especially since we don't have kids yet. I'm lonely. I want to move, but DH doesn't want to for at least 2 more years.
I don't know what to do with myself. Any advice?
I have been to counseling in the past but it didn't help any. I am intelligent, so I basically ended up analyzing myself and the counselor would just nod and go "mmm hmm", not helpful, and I don't want to take medication.
Re: I'm either in wedding withdrawl or depressed or both
Can you get involved in something? I take country and western dance classes. Since you work different schedules find a class that does not require couples. It would be good exercise and a chance to meet some people.
Or maybe you have another interest and can find a group that does that. I suggest you get out and get involved. That is how you meet people and get out of a funk. Maybe an exercise class. Also don't get hung up on friends your age. You may find you have a lot in common with older people. Give it a chance.
Finding a good counselor that you click with can really help. I've had both good and bad counselors, and good ones really do help. Also look to see if there are any group depression clinics in your area. They are usually free, and being able to talk with others that are going through the same thing is helpful.
Getting out of the house everyday definitely helps, even if it's just to take a walk or run to the store. You may want to look into meetup.com and craigslist to help meet new people in your area.
Trip to Prague & bring home furbaby when we get back
~ Karen ~
**Wedding/House/Travel Bio **
Thanks ladies. I already take Tae Kwon Do, but there is that age gap there too. I have more in common with the older crowd, but I find I get excluded a lot because I don't have kids yet. For example, I have never been invited to the Thursday breakfast all the ladies in their 40s go to because they are all mom's and I'm not. How do you find a good counselor? I have been to three in my life and they all were not very good. Money is also very tight.
Trip to Prague & bring home furbaby when we get back
~ Karen ~
**Wedding/House/Travel Bio **
I'm clearly no MD, just suggestions;
Have you gotten a physical lately? There may be something more going on. Two things that jump out are seasonal depression - which can be escalated even more now that we came off the high of the wedding right in the transitional time of year, so it may be really affecting you? Also, ever heard of Epstein Barr? I've had it since high school. It can lay dormant for years and spark up based on excessive emotions. If you were feeling down enough, it may have sparked the virus? The excessive sleep is what makes me think this.
I would start by getting a check up first. There may be something going on that can be corrected fairly quickly.
Good luck!
Shawnee I completely feel ya. I could have written that first paragraph myself (other than I have to be at work at 8:30 so I'm forced to get up early). Honestly, I find forcing myself to be more active always helps. We've been trying to get up earlier and take our dog for a long walk before we get ready for work. Also, I used to go to Zumba classes twice a week at my local rec center (super cheap).
I'm going to be joining WW back up again soon. I like going to the meetings. There is typically a wide variety of people there.
I don't know anything about your beliefs, but for me the best thing is having an awesome church family to fellowship with twice a week. We attend a small church and we are all very close. It's nice to have a smiling face and big hug to greet you when you're having a rough day/week/month. That doesn't cost a thing and it's priceless!
est. 10/10/10
I thought of one more thing. Do you live in the north where there is limited daylight in the winter? If so, have you considered light therapy. It is easy to get depressed on the short cold days. I fortunately have almost always lived in the south. When I was further north for college I did not like the short, cold dreary winter days.
Have you asked the ladies if you could join them for breakfast? I am older but have no kids. People my age are just beginning to be empty nesters so I understand the not having things in common but I still spend time with women that have kids. I just can't always participate in the conversation with personal experience. Also if you plan to have kids you may learn some things from them that will be helpful later.
Good luck with finding some outlet that will help you.
Aside from a possible medical issue, I think this is a good point. I went to school in upstate NY and am so glad I got to come home to FL for two or three weeks over Christmas and get my dose of sunshine and clear blue skies. It could just be a combination of coming off the excitement of the wedding and entering into the dreariest time of the year.
I agree with this, too! Whether here in FL, in school in NY, spending a summer in OK (where I only knew my uncle and his family) or living in a third world country for five years, I have always been able to connect with people at church. :-)