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SIL friends with ex-friend
My SIL is going out of her way to contact a girl I used to be friends with (she was my bridesmaid and we had a falling out in the lead up to my wedding). Nearly every post this girl makes on facebook, my SIL makes a comment followed by *hugs and kisses*.
They only know each other through me, and they've never been what I consider 'friends' so I dont know why my SIL feels the need to make contact with her. My SIL also knows that we are no longer friends. I feel like she is being disloyal to me be continually contacting her when its not necessary.
My DH knows she does this and has offered to speak to her about it but it probably sounds petty and will probably cause a fight with her saying "I can be friends with whoever I like." My SIL has plenty of friends of her own... I dont know why she needs to be friends with this person who was unsupportive in the lead up to my wedding.
Do I have a right to be upset? Should I just ignore it?
Re: SIL friends with ex-friend
You can feel howeveryou want, but you should indeed ingore it.
REgardless of meeting/knowing e/o through you, their relationship w/ e/o has nothing to do w/ you.
Block ex-friend's FB and it's solved.
Ditto.
Or block SIL! I would not be surprised if the attraction of your ex-f to SIL is the fact that you no longer like her.
You can't tell people who they can or cannot befriend. Esp. on FB!
Ignore it to the best of your ability.
De-friend/blocking sounds like a good first step.
Everytime you find yourself getting irritated with the situation, take a small walk or do something else you find calming, in order to shift your mind from it.
Yes, I think I should definately de-friend the ex-friend (!) and block my SIL so I dont see her comments.
I have been wanting to de-friend for a while but was having difficulty making that final step, to loose final contact with someone I have known for a long time.
Its driving me crazy that Im letting it get to me so much!
I had a similiar situation. My ex-friend (we just grew apart, no falling out, but I consider her to be "toxic") Anyhow, at the point where we were kinda growing apart, but still talking somewhat she friended one of my closest male friends. She only knew him through me and then all of a sudden it was like they were best friends and she knew him better etc. It was hurtful for me, because I knew she was doing it out of spite. I let it go as much as I could and never talked badly about her to my other friends. Eventually, he got sick of her, because as I said she is a toxic person and they had a blow out and are no longer friends. Hang in there. If SIL is doing it out of spite and your ex-friend really isn't a good friends SIL will get sick of it and give up. I wish people weren't so juvenille tho!!
Oh...and block her of FB. You will be grateful you did.
Oh and by friended I didn't mean just FB. She followed him around like a puppy dog, called him on top of making ALL kinds of FB comments. I just blocked my ex-friend this week bc I was SO sick of all her FB stuff on my news feed. It was hard because I have known her since middle school, I was in her wedding and she was in mine, but she just isn't good for me. So I did it. You will feel better that you did.
Thanks everyone
Lilou, sounds like a similar situation. I was also bridesmaid for this girl and we all made such a fuss of her wedding which was only a few months before mine. Unfortunately when my turn came, her and my other bridesmaid didnt want to be bothered at all. I even had to arrange my own bachelorette party. The other BM apologised (and to top it off she is dating my DH's close friend) and admitted to being jealous of my wedding so we are on speaking terms but our friendship will never be the same. They are both, as you say, toxic friends.
Its very sad when your closest friends let you down at one of the most important stages of life.
My SIL knows of the situation so its hurtful that she's contacting her. It is most likely out of spite but it amazes me that someone who is supposed to be part of my family would do this. I guess there are more hurtful SIL's out there than her though and this will probably all blow over eventually.
And she would be right. If you don't know the details of how they came to be closer lately (they could have run into each other, maybe they now go to the same gym, etc.), it seems unfair for you to assume the worst of your SIL. Their friendship has nothing to do with you, so let it go. It kind of sucks for you since you used to be close to her, but it's just something you'll have to ignore.
why are you UPSET? because your sil is friendly with a person you're not friends with anymore? so what?
would you really cause drama about this by having your DH speak to sil and tell her what-that she shoudln'tput the xoxo after? or that she shouldn't contact your ex friend at all?! come on already. if they want to be friends-let them.