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No pressure but...
ugh, one of my family members calls me at least twice a year about an expensive gift they want to give one another. This was my conversation with my brother today... "No pressure but Dad really wants an ipad. We know you are financially strapped but we're (bro, sis, mom) are going to get it for him".
For my parents 30th anniversary we threw them a party and then my sister/brother decided they needed a flat screen tv... and since then it's been every holiday, birthday, mother's/father's day in the last 3 years they've decided my parents need a ridiculously expensive gift.
I feel like a horrible person to say no... and if I say no, I feel like they will judge my spending for other things. I love them but I don't understand why my sister & brother need to keep buying these pricey gifts.
Re: No pressure but...
That really stinks. Is this a new thing with your siblings? Whenever one of our siblings is going through a down cycle financially, we always offer to include that sibling in a joint gift-- even if the sibling can't contribute more than a couple bucks. Or we find a way to include them (like letting that sibling make something homemade to go with the joint gift). We know it will come back around at some point...
Have you tried just bringing this all up with your siblings?
We are going through a similar thing with DHs family. We showed up at his family's Christmas this year with gifts for the Chinese Auction. Everyone else had brought gifts for all the grandkids (there are 17 of them) in addition to their Chinese Auction gifts. We felt like total losers and there is no way that we can afford to buy gifts for 17 of his family members. Not to mention the fact that Ridley did not need that many additional cheap plastic toys to add to her already vast collection.
I think we are going to try to persuade them to pick names next year. That way, everyone could spend $40 and get a really nice gift for someone, instead of paying upwards of $85 and giving them crap.
In your situation, I agree with Andrea, chip in whatever you can afford and leave it at that. Or if you want to give them something separate, then go with that. I am sure that your parents will appreciate whatever you are giving them as long as you are taking their wants and needs into consideration!
This.
This again. That's got to be wicked frustrating though.
Yeah, we can do that... the annoying part too is that we agreed to no presents. I love my parents but I can't afford to keep up with my siblings on their spending.
Thanks ladies