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i created a monster! sleep advice and questions
well technically i have created three i guess. but my problem is with isla now! her sleeping is just like milas was. mila still is a terrible sleeper, but isla wants to get up once or twice to nurse. i have tried over time to decrease , but she is to old for that. i feel like its all or nothing... it needs to be cold turkey, but i dont know how to do that because she cries and has a full blown tantrum- then i feel bad because its been such a huge part of her life for so long and she is old enough now to know what she wants when she wants it. i am her paci and it is becoming really hard becuase i am sick and tired. last month at her 18 mo check up the pedi said it was fine to stop. she weighed in at 20lbs and grew in height a bit as well. she is still a peanut and in the 10%.
anyway, this waking through the night is awful. she will go on and on for hours, and wake up mila. then mila wants to come in my bed or cant fall back asleep. and before you know it the whole house is up tossing and turning and hughing and puffing. it is really bad.
do i let her cio for a week and just suffer through it?
how often do your kids wake at night?
what is the typical reason for their waking ?
how often do you allow them in your bed?
mila belle aka mimi and belle and miss isla aka ileigh : )
Re: i created a monster! sleep advice and questions
do i let her cio for a week and just suffer through it? My first reaction is yes. You need to nip this in the bud ASAP. And if it means a short period of suffering, then so be it. In the end it will seem like forever ago.
how often do your kids wake at night? They don't. They never really have.
what is the typical reason for their waking ? If they're sick they'll wake. Tristan occasionally wakes to go potty.
how often do you allow them in your bed? Never, unless they're sick. Mena however is sneaky. We sometimes wake up to her in the bed because we slept through it. But if it's early enough we bring her back.
Oh man. I feel for you!!! DD2 is also a peanut, in the 10% percentile... so when she was waking in the night to nurse 2-3 times per night from 3 months on, I felt bad depriving her because she was so small! This went on until she was 9 months old. The pediatrician told me at that point she doesn't need to nurse in the night anymore, and that it was actually bad for her teeth (the leftover milk on her teeth can cause them to rot). That weekend, we did CIO, and by night 2 she slept right on through! She has been doing great for two months, and started waking again this past week. For her, I think it is because she has been sick (pink eye & double ear infection) and I also think she is teething. I have been nursing her again, because she doesn't calm down otherwise. Anyway, generally the only time I allow the little ones in our bed is if they are very sick and can't settle down otherwise.
As for reasons why Isla is waking, it could be that she is hungry. Is she eating enough during the day? Can you give her a snack about an hour before bedtime and a big glass of milk to fill her up? She really shouldn't be eating during the night, you know? At this point it could just be habit since you've been doing it for so long.
How is the temperature in her room? Do you think she is too warm? Too cold?
Is she getting molars in? Do you think she may be uncomfortable - if so, have you tried medicating w/Motrin before bedtime?
Woman I don't know how you can manage all that waking up while pregnant! I'm so sorry! I remember at the Patriot Place GTG when you talked about their sleep issues... not fun at all
Hugs!
I agree with Pam. She is too old to be waking up at night to eat. Domenic doesn't wake up at all at night unless he's sick or teething. He sleeps a solid 11-12 hrs. You won't have to do CIO for a week. Maybe 3 days before she gets it. Its totally worth it. Get some ear plugs. We did CIO with Dom at 5 mos old, and he has been sleeping thru ever since. He was waking out of habit, not hunger. We started it on a Friday night, so that we would have all weekend to get him trained, so we wouldn't be up all night and then having to go to work. By Sunday night, he slept thru.
You need the rest at this point. As far as letting him in our bed - we don't except for when he wakes up in the morning (7am) to drink his cup of milk and watch cartoons while DH and I can manage to collect our tired selves and start the day.
Does Isla use a paci? maybe you could try giving her an actual paci while going to bed...Otherwise I have no other suggestions but I would try to get this under control sooner rather than later. You could also try using a sound machine or white noise machine for MIla while you are letting Isla CIO so that the crying doesn't wake her up. Good luck.
do i let her cio for a week and just suffer through it? YES...I know it's hard but I have no other ideas about how to help you help them...I can't even imagine what you are going through with your 2 crazy sleepers! I say you need to buckle down and get them sleeping well before the new baby comes. What has your doctor said?
how often do your kids wake at night? Don't wake, obviously Zoe is older, but both girls were always really good sleepers. Zoe slept with us a lot when she was a baby but when we put her in the crib to stay, I just let her cry it out...I did a lot of the stand near the crib/bed, slowly move your way out of the room, give them so much time before you go in...but neither one woke up a lot at night...
what is the typical reason for their waking ? -
how often do you allow them in your bed?
Like I said, Zoe was in our bed quite a bit when she was a baby just because frankly it was easier and the only way we got enough sleep sometime. Now Zoe is very rarely in our bed, she woke up at like 5 this morning crying from a bad dream and came in with us, and Lily also is rarely in bed with us...Sometimes if she wakes up she will lay with us for a little bit then ask to go back to her bed.
Honey I am so so sorry you are still dealing with shitty sleeping problems. I wish I had better advice for you and know you have tried a lot of things to deal with it...I think you just need to go cold turkey and let them CIO...I know this post is more about Isla but...If they wake each other, so be it, they'll figure out soon enough...I hope, for your sake! GOOD LUCK!
We had to do cold turkey CIO with Cass at 11 months for the exact same reason. We had tried Ferber many times before, but I believe the checking in was just aggravating the situation even more. I turned up a sound machine in our room and did not go in until morning. It was incredibly tough, but she did great.
I also wouldn't worry about Mila too much, it may even send a message to her? She may lose sleep those 3 days, but think about how long this has stretched out and how long it has effected her sleep every night for the past 18 months.
We only let Cassidy in our bed to read a story before bed or when she's sick. She's not really interested in it other than that. Good luck, Erica!
First off I am so sorry that you are still dealing with sleeping issues. And pg for a 3rd time I am sure you are ready to jump off a bridge! (LOL) Anyway, I say to let that baby CIO. It's funny I have way less patience for this stuff when it comes to G b/c she is #2. With C being the 1st, I feel like you make more mistakes b/c you don't really know the consequences.
Get yourself some earplugs, remove the boob and let Isla figure it out. She is def. old enough!
G never really wakes up at night. Only if she is cold or sick. Now C on the other hand.....oi! It's mainly bad dreams. He cried out in his sleep...it's terrible. Some days are good and others are a nightmare.
We never let G in our bed. She won't sleep so it's pointless. With C we let him only when he wets his bed and we are too tired to change his sheets. At times we have brought him in for nightmares. But now I am reading that we shouldn't do that b/c it reinforces that something is scary in their room. So now we lay with him in his bed. when he falls asleep we leave.
I think I'm a little confused about letting her feed in the middle of the night because she's in the 10%? JJ's been in the 4% since he was 5 months old, and the pedi NEVER condoned feeding in the middle of the night. If anything, she agreed with me that we could let him CIO (at 5 mons) to get him sleeping on his own.
The only time JJ gets up at night is if he's sick, like everyone else has said. Sometimes he wakes up for a minute, but he'll find his paci and go back down. I know you're worried about letting Isla CIO and waking Mila, but could Mila sleep out for a few days? Do they ever sleep at your parents? I would be curious to know how they sleep for other people.
I can't imagine how you feel right now between this and your pregnancy and knowing how sick you get. Not to mention work. Hugs and hang in there! We'll be thinking of you!
so sorry you are still dealing with sleep issues..that sucks.
I agree with everyone else..it is time to just CIO and end nursing. She still nurses before bed and you can tell her this is it, no more once you are in bed. She will get the hint after a few nights. Good luck.
thanks girls! tonight is the night. i dont care which one wakes up the other... i am not going in there.
isla and mila never had the paci or a bottle... other babies need to wean off of those things. so i guess i was both the paci and the bottle... so thats where our habit comes in. it has a been a fine line between nursing for hunger and nursing for comfort for us.
oh and yes my pedi highly recommended nursing through the night for nutrition and health purposes. i chose not to supplement with formula, or feed her whipped cream, ice cream and other things so he said to nurse.
she eats well in spurts and thats where i worry. i may try little a snack of something that i know she likes right before bed so i dont worry that i am starving her.
anyway all i know is that dh is done and so am i
try a sippy of milk and/or a banana before bed
you can do it! i'll be thinking of you guys.
does she drink whole milk? I can see the formula issue, but what about milk before bed?
alright homeslice.
you are HOPEFULLY laying the smack down.
but I'll answer you questions:
do i let her cio for a week and just suffer through it? it won't take a week. and if it does take a few days, it will be a week tops but it gets better every day.
how often do your kids wake at night? wake up completely? not often. wake up but still asleep.. at least 1x a night
what is the typical reason for their waking ? number 1 reason, only when he's sick. but sometimes if we just make noise he'll wake up if he's not in a deep sleep. he's such a light sleeper that we have the radio on in his room and in the living room outside his room for naps/overnight. I don't have that kid that'll fall asleep anywhere if he's tired enough. He's just not nice if he hasn't slept.
how often do you allow them in your bed? to sleep? only if I have to. See.. I need sleep and if DH isn't home or if it's apparent no one will sleep, then he can come to bed.. But that's it.