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Taking Away Grandma's Car...
Have any of you gone through this? My Grandma is 84 and is suffering from "walking seizures". We really don't think she should be driving anymore but whenever someone broaches the subject with her she gets completely defensive. On top of that we think her ability to get around is what's keeping her healthy and happy and taking that away could do some terrible things for her health. But, frankly, I think if she keeps driving that will be what kills her sooner rather than later and then we also risk putting others at danger.
If you've gone through this- what was the solution you came up with? How did you convince your family member that this was a good idea?
I kind of want to be the one to do this. I know if my Mom does and Grandma takes it out on her it will kill her! She's very, very close to her. I love my Grandma, too, but frankly I see her less than anyone else because I live so far away and I figure sooner or later she'll forget about it. And if she doesn't, at least I know she's safe. So I figured I'd come up with a plan and do this when I'm home in June.
Re: Taking Away Grandma's Car...
This is a very touchy subject. Especially when this is what you believe is keeping her up and going.
I have no real suggestions for you, but recently my dad suffered a few TIA's and would forget where he was going and would get "lost" on his way driving home. We talked with the Dr. who understood how scary it was for us to have a 50 year old man leave in his car and be gone for hours and literally get home and have NO idea where he had been all day. He finally went to a neurologist, who in the end had the state of MI revoke his license. He said it was "dangerous to allow you to drive in your condition" It wasn't completely the neurologists idea to have it revoked but we talked to him and he said that he would see him back in a few months to determine if he can get his license back.
I guess my thought is has your grandma seen a Dr. who knows what is going on? If she has, are they willing to pull her license for her safety as well as others? I know it is hard thing to do, but sometimes it is easier to make someone else out to be the "bad" person rather then you or a family member.
This. I'd try to have a medical professional be the one to tell her that she shouldn't drive. To her, the doctor's opinion probably trumps yours, especially if she really wants to drive.
Before my grandma passed away she was getting frailer and falling a lot. Taking away her license didn't come up as an issue before she went into hospice, but my family did all take turns driving her places and going over to help her with errands. She was never offended b/c it was always like, "Hey Mom/Grandma, while I'm over here why don't I take you to the grocery store since I need a few things too." I realize this can't cover everything or be a long term solution, but it might be a way to ease her into it.
I hope your family and your grandma are able to come up with a solution to ease everyone's mind. Good luck.
I would also try to go this route. If not, I really think it's best that your mother or another family member talk to her. I believe one of the toughest parts of getting older is turning back into a child and having people tell you what you can and can't do. To have your granddaughter revoke your license would be completely infuriating since she probably sees you as a kid still.
It's definitely a tough situation. We were afraid for the day that my grandmother could no longer drive. We also believed it was keeping her healthy to still have her independence. But she passed away before we had to cross that bridge.
Good luck! I'm sorry you and your family, especially your gma, have to deal with this. Getting old really sucks!
I should've mentioned that she lost her license for about 3 months because her doctor did take it away. But then she went back in for an evaluation and my Mom believe she lied to her doctor and he actually gave her back her license.
But, I think maybe I'll suggest to my Mom that we get in touch with her doctor and get his help. I know she tried calling him once and was told he couldn't discuss a patient, but that was to find out something she wasn't telling us which obviously he can't disclose. Maybe if it's us feeding him info it'll work.
My Aunt already takes her grocery shopping or does her shopping for her. And my other Aunt comes by 2 times a week to spend time with her and take her places. And my Mom comes down about once a month for a weekend to take her clothes shopping, so she's good there. She uses her car for two reasons- Doctor's appointments and to go to the Senior Center at her church. Unfortunately she goes to these at times when family are all working... but she can easily use a car service, it would probably be cheaper than what she pays now with insurance and gas but she is just sooooooo stubborn!