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Parenting Fail

My son thinks we bought him. 

M and I were having great conversation on the way to school this morning.  Something came up about him wanting to eat at a restaurant where they only speak Spanish, so I asked him if he meant here or in Peru.  He said both.  When I asked him if he wanted to visit Peru, he said emphatically (as he always does), "No!"  He said he didn't know why he didn't want to, and then changed the subject.

I thought this was as good a time as any, and I decided to ask him if he wanted a sibling.  This is how the conversation went:

Me:  Do you want a brother or sister?

M {wasting no time to think about it}:  A brother.

Me:  Yeah?

M:  Yes!

Me:  Why?

M:  I don't know.

Me:  To play with?

M:  Yes.

Me:  And to love?

M:  Yes.  {getting excited} And to PLAY with!

Me:  That's good to know.  {after a while}  Maybe someday....

M:  Let's go!  {obviously thinking hard}  Uh, I don't know....  Where do you go to by them?

I cracked up, thinking this was really funny...until it hit me...M thinks we bought him!

We talked about it, and he told me he really did think we bought him.  He told me that he thought he is worth $100 (which, since he has no concept of money, is a HUGE amount in his mind).  I did my best to explain that we did NOT buy him, that there wasn't enough money in the world to buy him, if you could do that sort of thing, but you can't--people are NOT for sale.  Not wanting him to think that he wasn't worth anything, though, I told him (probably inadvisedly, but I was so off-guard) that we spent a lot of money to prove that we are good people so that he could come live with us, but we did NOT buy him.  We talked about it for a while, but I'm pretty sure he didn't buy what I was telling him.

Re: Parenting Fail

  • I don't think that's a fail. I think that will be a funny family story 20 years from now.
    image
  • Awww, that's sad. :( I would have been caught off-guard, too. Hopefully this is a concept he can figure out as he gets older/develops more familiarity with the language.
    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I would be half tempted to say "I didn't buy you, I leased you with the option to buy."  But that would probably be bad parenting as well.
    image
    3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
    Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
    I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
    It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
  • Oh, you can totally buy people.
    image
  • imageGroomzMcFinehiney:
    I would be half tempted to say "I didn't buy you, I leased you with the option to buy."  But that would probably be bad parenting as well.

    "man I hope your warranty doesn't run out"

    Sorry, Captain, I know it's serious, but i agree with Fallin that this will be really funny one day.

    image
  • I don't really see it as a fail; I just wished we had talked about it all along.  I guess I just figured he was oblivious to everything we went through to get him, or any money exchanging hands, and I was okay leaving it that way.  At least for now.  With all the other things we have to address, this just didn't seem important to try to discuss, especially when we still had language difficulties.

    I guess we just have a lot more conversations about adoption in the future.  The good thing is that if we do adopt again, he'll see a lot more of how it works.  but then...how would we explain it to the second kid?

  • No worries.  Like I said, I cracked up. I totally see the humor.  I just also have to figure out how to explain it to him.

  • My parents always told me they bought me at a garage sale.  It was all done in good humor.

    Adoption is certainly a hard concept to grasp, but in the end, I'm sure they will understand that whatever the process, it was all done out of love.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • imageChristinS:
    Oh, you can totally buy people.

    It's true.  You can buy me for a tropical vacation.  You can buy Groomz for a single Vicki cookie.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • To give you some perspective, THIS is a parenting fail.

    You seem to be doing a great job with what is bound to be a confusing situation for M.

  • That first video is horrifying.  Poor little Mia cried in both those videos.  It's time someone told her mother to STFU.
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