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MIL situation - AGAIN!
I'm so over the drama with this woman. She had a hip replacement in October and had a pretty good recovery, but now she's claiming that the other hip is awful now and wants surgery on that one. The doctor wants to wait a year. Meanwhile, she's doped up on Vicodin 24/7.
She called me today going on about how she wants to come stay with us when the baby is born. She lives in Palm Harbor, and we live in New Tampa. It's not far and there's really no reason she should have to stay here, except she doesn't drive. H would have to take her back and forth. She's useless! In fact, when she stayed here for the holidays, I was waiting on her! She's already going on about how she doesn't know how she'll walk around with the baby and her walker. My exact words were..."Um, you won't. You'll be sitting in the chair and holding the baby."
I can just see this is going to be a disaster. She wanted to be present at the birth, and it was a huge fight between H and I - but I got my way. So now of course, he thinks we should let her stay, since I'm not letting her be present for the birth.
Kennedy Aleise 2/19/11
Life As We Know It
Re: MIL situation - AGAIN!
Married Bio
Maybe I'm biased because I have pretty good in-laws who don't cause any trouble...yet. But it seems like you are constantly having to deal with your MIL and it's obviously causing you stress. A pregnant women is the last person that should be stressed out unnecessarily. It also seems like your hubby really isn't supporting your wants or needs when it comes to MIL.
I would be having a heart to heart and telling H what you want when the child is born and he needs to handle MIL issues. Period.
If you let her get away with crap now she'll continue to take advantage of it and get what she wants in the future.
Is this her first grandchild? I'm wondering if one of her other children set some kind of prescedent or if she's just an over-eager first time grandma.
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
First of all, I have a huge problem with her wanting to be present for the birth. I know this fight is over and done with, but I have to comment.
1. It is YOUR vagina. Who the hell thinks they have the right to ask to be present at the birth? I HATE when people do this! I hear about it all the time! WTF? Who do they think they are? My best friend is a nurse and she's mentioned being present when I (eventually) give birth and I told her point blank, there is no way she's seeing my vagina. Then she said she could stay up by my shoulders and just be there. No.
2. You are in LABOR. This is not entertainment! I don't see a ticket booth in front of the delivery room. You are going to be working hard and in a lot of pain...why would you want another smiling face in there telling you how wonderful this is?
3. This should not have been an argument with your husband....see #1.
4. This should be a moment for you and your husband....you are embarking on a wonderful journey. This is not anyone else's moment. People need to stop being selfish.
I'm done. Flame me if you want because the situation is over and done with...but I needed a good topic for a rant tonight.
It's her fifth. When my oldest niece was born, she had wormed her way into living with SIL and BIL. She was there because she couldn't be trusted to live on her own. She did NOTHING and was more bother than help (per SIL) - and all she did for 1.5 years was make SIL's life a living hell.
I told DH that I think he seriously needs to think about the things that the doula said, specifically that the only visitors we need for extended periods of time are the ones who are going to cook for us and keep the house clean, NOT cause extra work. I'm hoping when the time comes he'll see the point. Otherwise, I'll use breastfeeding as an excuse and hang out in my bedroom with Kennedy. We're delivering at a birth center and only staying 3-4 hours afterward anyway, so there's no reason I won't need to be resting!
This seriously made me LOL. My feelings exactly. What is with all these people who think it's a party or some sort of entertainment?! I asked H if he wanted to sit around with his legs wide open and his junk hanging out, in my mom's presence!
That's a great analogy. I'm thinking that if anyone asks me to be in the delivery room I'll say, "Sure, but you have to be naked and spread your legs every 10 minutes." We'll see who wants to come now! LOL
Its all about preference. My sister and my bestfriend both didnt mind me being in the delivery room. I mean my husband was there with me throughout her labor then we went downstairs to get food and when we came back my niece was already out. My Bestfriend appointed me to be in the room with her mom who only spoke spanish and another bestfriend of hers. I saw everything, I did get yelled at after saying "its not too late for epidural!" lol she yelled and said "SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!!!" she didnt want it but eventually asked for it lol but it was too late. Anyways, I wouldnt want my mother in law be there in the delivery room with me which might be pretty tough because she's a nurse at the mother baby floor at TGH. But DH knows whats up and I will let him deal with her ones we're in that situation. You can only have up to 3 people in the room so I will have my husband, my mom, and either one of my sister's or bestfriend they can fight over who gets to go in lol. I think I'll be too busy pushing to even think about who is in there so we'll see.
Overall, only be there if personally invited people! don't push your way in sheesh!!!
For some reason this really makes me want to have a baby.
That's exactly my point....if you want other people in the room with you, invite them, that's great. If someone asks you to be in there, go, have fun. But for cryin' out loud, don't ASK someone to come witness the birth! Too many people feel entitled!!
That's exactly my point....if you want other people in the room with you, invite them, that's great. If someone asks you to be in there, go, have fun. But for cryin' out loud, don't ASK someone to come witness the birth! To many people feel entitled!!