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Custody battle ( might be long)
My FI has a 3 year old daughter, Olivia. He and her mom never got married. She admitted to getting pregnant on purpose. She gets child support about 75k per year. ( no I am not kidding) She uses this money to live in general, to pay for her PHD. They have joint custody. Ulternate 3 days or 4 days per week each and trade Holidays.
Anyway so her mom has a boyfriend that is fairly abusive to her, CPS has been called severial times, I called the last week as I am a mandated reporter.( Social worker)
He has hit her in the past, pictures to prove the bruises, she is video taped describing what has happened. THe mom has told her to not talk about what happends. She has withdrawn grately. The boyfriend scared her, and threatened her, I She told me what happened to FI and I ... FI took her down to the police station to make a statement. Filed a motion for emergancy custody, it was denied and a court date is set for the last week in Jan.
If anyone has been to custody hearings, can you please tell me how they work. The mom is very well spoken but very disturbed, Her mom also had children used the men for money and lived off of child support settlements... Thoughts would be great, Thanks. I am just concerned for this child she is only 3.
Re: Custody battle ( might be long)
I hope you have a lot of proof that this guy is dangerous, and that he lives with them...if you dont youll be wasting your time.
Athough you say you are concerned for the child, the added $$ taslk and putting the mother down, doesnt make that picture very clear!
He does not live with them full time, he is there most of the time or they are with him at his house in a near by town. We have also filed a restraining order/ order of protection against him to stay away from her.
What proof besides, pictures, police willing to testify, child on tape would you need? Please clairify?
I would post this on the Blended Families board (on The Bump). I've over there and the ladies give some good/honest advice!
Good luck!
He pays out this enormous sum of "child support", no questions asked????
Is he a man or a mouse?
And if you indeed have evidence that the bf is abusive, that child needs to be removed from that home, asap. I hope this is resolved quickly and without problems.
She originally wanted 200k, the judge settled on this amount... Fi is very successful and extremely financally secure. I have another friend whos boyfriend pays that much in supports ( it might be more)
No he is not a mouse LOL he fought hard to give her minimum. THe courts have been difficult all the way. Much of this happened before I was in the picture. We have been together a year.
A man who fights hard to give his child the minimum amount of child support possible... yup, sounds like a winner.
I know legislation varies by jurisdiction, but if you have the proof you say you have, why hasn't CPS done anything? Is this not considered a child protection concern where you live? Where I live, this would be a removal. If there was reasonable proof...
I can't figure out what kid anywhere "needs" 75K yearly in child support.
My typo. I will correct; you can delete this one. My bad.
That's a staggering amount of money for a kiddo.
It doesn't matter how much the child "needs." What matters is what the child is entitled to, based on what the parent making the support payments is earning. It's a percentage of salary, and many states have a formula (based on income) on what a child can receive.
Now, whether the child sees all of that money or the parent receiving support spends it on manicures and trips with their SO is another matter.
I work with children and 21 plus- Autism in a diognostic center. I have a MSW, I am certified LCSW and BCBA.
Absolutely this.
You have hired people who know far more about this type of thing than, I would guess, anyone on this board. Follow their advice.
100% this. Jesus, it's not based on how much the child "needs". If the non-custodial parent makes a million a year, child support is going to be much more than if he/she made $50K. Attitudes like this result in the bachelor father (yes, using the stereotype) living the high life, while the mother with the kids barely scapes by. There is a reason the laws are now they way they are to compute support.
while this has nothing to do with your OP, i'm questioning your honesty here. i can usually SPELL the name of the place where i work.
Ok well I fixed it..... I know you have never made a spelling mistake in your entire life. I usually start a sentence with a capital letter, including i ( I)..... Seriously, being judgemental is not a pretty trait. Have a lovely night.
Ok well I fixed it..... I know you have never made a spelling mistake in your entire life. I usually start a sentence with a capital letter, including i ( I)..... Seriously, being judgemental is not a pretty trait. Have a lovely night.
Would your husband consider paying the mother a settlement or annual sum to give-up custody?
I know it's frustrating, but if he's paying 2 lawyers anyway and it might not be much of a hardhsip to get what he wants (full custody) and pay her a significant sum to agree.
Happens everyday.
I do not think he feels that this woman will ever be satisfied. She takes him to court every year around the same time for more, More money, She wanted the courts to have him buy her a new car. He already bought her a house. The fact is she will never be satisfied I feel. I do not know about paying her off outright, To keep our peace of mind I don?t ask a lot of questions, because I know he is stressed as it is. I learn more and more everyday now that I am staying there weekends, I live in NYC this situation is in PA, I am a little removed from the situation since we do not live together fulltime.
In a way, to me its like she holds the child as collateral... and uses her as a bargaining tool. I will pass your sentiment on to my FI, its a question worth asking, though I think he has played that out in his mind before.... Thanks for the thought.
I do not think money is the big issue here ( at least for me) Its the safety emotionally, physically and anything else that falls under that umbrella. I do not think the mom or the boyfriend hold the child?s best interests in to consideration, and that to me is sad.
Joint custody does not automatically mean that there is no child support. If the father makes more than the mother, he would have to pay her something so that the child has the "same standard of living" in both homes.
I haven't finished reading the thread, but I took the OPs statement as the father fought hard to give his Ex the minimum control/custody/freedoms with the child...in otherwords, did his best to legally limit the negative impacts she could have over their shared child.