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I failed. Miserably.
So I tried May out in her crib last night. It failed.
First I tried letting her fall asleep in there (putting her down drowsy but awake), which she didn't. Then I put her in after I rocked her to sleep. She woke up after 3 minutes. Then I put her in after she had been asleep on the couch for 45 minutes or so. Woke up after 1 minute. Stood over her patting her butt for 15 minutes, she wouldn't go to sleep. Every time I walked away from the crib she would start crying. I told DH I didn't like it and he told me to bring her in to our bed. She fell asleep within 5 minutes.
I feel like I've created a monster who can't sleep at night on her own. And I'm also mad because I didn't really even try hard to put her down. I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing enough to let her cry. I think I'm going to look for a book on it today...
Le sigh....
Re: I failed. Miserably.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, every parent has to go through this at some point in time.
Keep at it and eventually May will be perfectly fine sleeping on her own.
what marcy said, hang in there!
Is her crib in your room, or in another room away from you? Either way, the best way to keep her in the bed is to find something that makes low noise - I used a television, believe it or not, with the picture turned off. I turned the sound way down and would lay my DS down in the crib after he fell asleep. It worked like a charm - from the time he was three days old. And no, I'm not kidding. That kid slept through the night in his own bed from the time he came home from the hospital. That's because I'd already had DD who was my "learning baby" and she was a PAIN to get back into her own bed ...
They have the heartbeat bears now - they didn't have that back then, but I hear it works the same way. What May is missing is the sound of you, not the feel of you. When babies are in the womb, it's not a quiet place - it's pretty noisy, actually. They hear your heartbeat, your voice, your bodily sounds ... And then when they're born, the hospital nursery isn't quiet either ... other babies crying, an almost constant in and out, nurses talking. And now that she's slept with you for three months, she's used to your sleeping sounds, and again, your heartbeat - times two when you factor in your DH.
Really, you don't need a book on this - you need one of those bears or even just a simple radio that you can turn on low at night. It will comfort and sooth her, and let her realize she's not all alone - which is exactly how she feels when you put her in a quiet, dark room alone.
Good luck, and keep at it. Don't give up. She's too young to "cry it out" at this point, but it won't hurt to let her cry a little before you go in to her ... just a minute or so. She will begin to understand that you're never far away and that will also help sooth her. Babies are sponges ... they soak up knowledge, even when they're this young. She just needs to figure out that Mom & Dad are close, even if they're not RIGHT THERE all the time.
You're not a failure. You're a new mom. There's going to be TONS of trial and error. There always is - and the first one is almost always the test case. ;-)
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Aw, Melissa...you are not a failure!!!
You're a first time mom, like Jill said. Keep at it, things will get better. They always do!
Keep that chin up.
Girl, it took me a good month to figure out how to get JJ back in his crib [before all his breathing issues started]. White noise worked for us, too - I would keep the fan on in the room, and it usually helped keep him asleep [and keep him cool, since he becomes hot-natured pretty easily at night].
As the others said, you're not a failure - it's all a part of figuring out what works for the two of you. Hang in there! Good luck!
Ugh, I know, that's the hard part!!!!
Amelia slept in a pack 'n play in our bedroom until she was nearly 7 months. I spent the next 2 months rocking her to sleep before putting her in her crib. There were a couple nights of having to let her cry it out (she just wouldn't fall asleep with me holding her) that were complete torture. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to go in there. Then one night she fought me for an hour, so I put her in her crib awake and she was asleep within 10 minutes without a peep. There are still nights she fusses, but usually only a few minutes.
I think the ideas of swaddling May (if she likes it) and white noise are excellent ideas. Just remember, whatever you choose to do will only work if YOU are comfortable with the method since you have to be consistent. Good luck. And stop beating yourself up - you're doing nothing wrong.
Amelia is going to be a big sister!
All of this. Try using a sleep sack or swaddling so she doesn't feel so alone in her big bed. White noise works wonders. We use a standing fan thing. You may also want to put her in a PNP in your room if your still having trouble after a few nights. Brock has only slept in our bed a couple of times (he's the only one that sleeps well) and even after just a couple of hours it's tough to get him in his own bed again. Stick with it and you will get through it soon enough.