Family Matters
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Alzheimer's

My mother, whom I love very much and have a good relationship with, has always been (for all of her other wonderful qualities) a little batty, a procrastinator, and an avoider. Lately, she's been having short-term memory issues, such as on Christmas Day when she asked me in the evening if she had told me the same story she told me in the morning, and also the prior week. My father and my sister have both noticed this too.

I'd brush it off as a "senior moment" (she's 60), except for the fact that my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 5 years ago. At the time of the diagnosis, his doctor told our family that my grandpa had likely been suffering from it for 20 years, and that early symptoms likely presented in his 60's.

I desperately want my mom to talk to her doctor. She could get on Aricept and we could have years before she starts truly declining. But, when I bring up her memory lapses, she rolls her eyes and shrugs me off. Needless to say, this is hurtful and frustrating. Has anyone out there dealt with a similar issue? I know I can't force her to talk to her doctor ... Sad

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Re: Alzheimer's

  • You aren't going to be able to force her to do anything.  What I think that you can do, is talk to her open and honsetly.  Tell her your concerns as you've stated them here and hopefully this will be enough for her to go.  I would also find a checklist for Alzheimer's symptoms and look them over if not with your mom, at least with your other family members.  Maybe you could also have your dad and sister talk to her with you.  But be supportive, she is probably scared and doesn't want to become a burden to anyone.
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  • Read The 36 Hour Day.
  • I hadn't heard of this. I'll be sure to pick it up. Thank you!

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  • imageLilou902:
    You aren't going to be able to force her to do anything.  What I think that you can do, is talk to her open and honsetly.  Tell her your concerns as you've stated them here and hopefully this will be enough for her to go.  I would also find a checklist for Alzheimer's symptoms and look them over if not with your mom, at least with your other family members.  Maybe you could also have your dad and sister talk to her with you.  But be supportive, she is probably scared and doesn't want to become a burden to anyone.

    Yes, you're right. Thanks for listening and for the advice.

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  • I started having "senior moments" shortly after my daugher was born and I was only 21 so, other than the family history, this could be just chance, timing or her ordinary personality.

     Don't assume the worst but it wouldn't hurt to have a converstation with her doctor.  He can't say anything that would break the patient confidentiality, but he probably should have a heads up if you really think there's a problem.

  • imageootmother2:

    I started having "senior moments" shortly after my daugher was born and I was only 21 so, other than the family history, this could be just chance, timing or her ordinary personality.

     Don't assume the worst but it wouldn't hurt to have a converstation with her doctor.  He can't say anything that would break the patient confidentiality, but he probably should have a heads up if you really think there's a problem.

     

    I agree with this.  Both my parents (and my fiance's parents, for that matter) tell us stories we've already heard or ask us about things they just mentioned recently.  We smile and listen again.  All four parents span the ages of 55 - 63.  No one in our families have/had Alzheimer's. 

    I'd be watchful and know other warning behaviors of Alzheimer's, but I wouldn't drag her to a doctor at this point in time.

  • I do that and I'm 25. I wouldn't jump to conclusions
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  • I started having "senior moments" shortly after my daugher was born and I was only 21 so, other than the family history, this could be just chance, timing or her ordinary personality.

     Don't assume the worst but it wouldn't hurt to have a converstation with her doctor.  He can't say anything that would break the patient confidentiality, but he probably should have a heads up if you really think there's a problem.

    This.

    Also, I have short term memory problems from a medical condition I have and I know of others that can cause problems with memory, even if temporarily. Its worth knowing so you/she can address whatever it is. I hope the doctor can do something with the info you give her. GL!

  • Nothing to add except to say that if she does decide to go in and have a chat with the doctor ask her to get her B12 levels checked. B12 deficiency (especially when chronic) can cause memory issues and I've seen some studies that have found a great deal of improvement in some Alzheimer's patients when B12 is brought up to optimal levels. My great-grandfather had Alzheimer's and pernicious anemia, which prevented b12 absorption; may have contributed to his quick decline. Certainly can't hurt to check.



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  • imageFMIL&MOB:
    Read The 36 Hour Day.

    This.  And next time she goes to the doctor, go with her.  Mention to her doctor your concerns, because I bet she hasn't.  Both my grandma and great grandma are suffering from Alzheimer's currently and my great grandfather had it as well, so our family is very much on the look out for any signs. 

    Another good book that I will have to look up for you is one my mom gave me.  It's written by a coach whose wife had Alzheimer's.  It's written like a playbook, going through each phase of the disease and what's the best plan of attack for it.

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  • 3rd the book
  • 3rd the book rec.

     

    ANd you can call the doc's office, even if he can't talk to you, you can voice concerns to him.

  • My Father in Law is showing similar signs, and his father had it.  He has had a lot of change in the past few years, and he refuses to see what the family sees.  But everyone has noticed His decline in the past few years.  There is really not much we can do for him, but we are going to try our best, and encourage and help him.  that is the best we can do for now, and hope that he is willing to talk to his doctor about it (we live in different states).
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