October 2008 Weddings
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"No gifts"
So for Campbell's birthday there are about 15-20 families invited (all family except 5). Nick wants to say "no gifts, please" on the invitation. What do you guys think? Is that tacky (because we're assuming they want to bring gifts) or rude (b/c who are we to tell people what to do), etc?
We're planning to do 2-4 p.m. b/c that's generally his play time after his first nap and lunch and as a bonus we don't have to serve lunch or dinner, we'd just do veggies/cheese platter, dips, and cake/ice cream.
Re: "No gifts"
Hmmmmm, quite the conundrum.
If all but 5 guests are family, they are probably going to bring gifts even if you say no gifts. Then, the other 5 families might feel awkward for not bringing anything.
I would say something like: "We invite you to come eat cake and ice cream and hang out with Campbell as we celebrate his 1st birthday!". That way, you're not saying "birthday party". Even if I get an invitation that says "no gifts please", I almost always end up bringing one not to be a pain but to give the kid a gift!
In my opinion, let there be gifts
Good point about the people who don't bring one feeling awkward. I like the wording suggestion - we'll probably do that then.
I should clarify, even though I think you all get it, the main reason is b/c we have no room for more toys! We're trying to move but until then we're loaded down and most he doesn't even know how to use!
Another question: do we open them all there? It will likely be me opening them b/c he gets distracted with the paper. I know I like to see people open my gift but the last few I've been to they opened them later and then sent Thank You cards.
maybe if you point to certain gifts? Like "Campbell will really appreciate books, bath toys, etc"
My niece was obsessed with being read to when she turned one, so Mom wrote for people to bring books and hair accessories as presents, and that's mostly what she got. Which helped cut down on the toy gifts.
I'm a breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, anti-CIO Mommy
Raising Bean
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I would maybe try wording it leaving out the word party as already suggested but not put anything like no gifts, even if people aren't offended I think no matter how you write it, it would look weird.
Thanks for the input ladies!
LOL, Stacey - I know, I'm so mean! It was daddy's idea anyway!
Since I refuse to start a new post, I just noticed your new blog! I added it to my Google Reader
LOL! Thanks! It's really not exciting. I'm hoping to someday use it as a baby blog, but for now, it's just my senseless ramblings.
Friends of ours did something I've always liked. Instead of saying 'no gifts' they asked for canned/food donations for a local shelter. We even got a list of some of the things the shelter needed most.
I mean, the grandparents and close family still brought gifts, but we brought multiple bags of non-perishable food
I'd go the route of "C likes x,y,z" & then donate the toys he doesn't need/play with. That's what we're going to do every June & Nov. is donate Avery's toys that she doesn't play with to make room for the new ones she'll get at birthday/Christmas. Out with the old & in with the new. Plus we'll have a good bit to write off of taxes
Good luck!
i would rather say nothing than saying 'campbell likes these toys.' i think that's more insinuating than saying not to bring any at all.
people are going to bring gifts because he's a kid. buying gifts for kids is when buying gifts is fun.
i do like the idea of saying, 'come have cake to celebrate his birthday' instead of saying it's an actual birthday party.
just my opinion though :P
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
What Jess said. Though I do like the idea of bringing foods to donate to a food shelter instead of gifts. Then it really may limit people. Even if they do bring gifts then, they might be small things. Though even with that you are still insinuating that people were going to buy a gift. It's so hard with this kind of thing.
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I agree w/ crows. I think mentioning gifts in an invite at all -- even if it's to say 'no gifts' -- is in poor taste. The other problem is that it's not going to be followed, and people will bring gifts anyway but they won't have your input b/c you said no gifts.
It brings people joy to buy gifts for people they love -- why deprive them?!
But if they ask, you can suggest smaller things or pragmatic things, like clothes in his current or future size or books that he will probably enjoy over and over again and won't take up as much room.
If you have too many toys for your place, you can rotate them out or send some to your mom's. I'd be bummed if I picked something out for someone and it got donated instead. But I'd be bummed if it didn't get played with / used anyway, so if it's the difference between not being used and being donated, then donation is fine but still ... sometimes I pick out specific things for specific personalities.
We kept most of Xander's gifts unwrapped because it would take too long for us to open them. Xander wasn't really interested in opening the gifts anyway. My SIL actually took about a week to open gifts because everyone left after cake when they were cleaning up my nephew. So they just took pictures of him playing/wearing what ever he got from someone and sent them a picture.
Alexander David
11.25.09
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