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No romance, no interest!
Ever since DH got a new iPod and a new phone, he has had no interest in me at all.
No romance. No sex. I even have to beg for kisses, cuddling, and hugs. All he does is play on that iPod. I've tried talking to him about how I feel about it and he just gives a big sigh, pauses for a moment and goes on to another subject.
It is making me so depressed and I feel like I'm just plain not good enough anymore in comparison to that daamned iPod. I've even tried asking him to put the iPod down for a while. When we go on dates he brings it and plays on it, even though we have a rule that we don't bring electronics.
And he ignores me, BIG TIME. I have to repeat myself 5 or 6 times before he even knows I've said anything. Then he goes, "huh?" and I have to repeat it again. It's annoying. It's gotten to the point where I just text him.
I've gone out and bought new sexy outfits. He told me once his fantasy was for me to wear heels, white lingerie, and angel wings. Well, I went out and bought all that and came into the living room. I was a dolled up and I looked hot! Did he even notice? NOPE. I straddled him and he just stared at his iPod. I took it out of his hands, said something sexy and tried to kiss him. What does he do? Pushes me away and says, "You probably just made me lose the game. Thank you."
What can I do? I'm so sexually frustrated it's not even funny. And I'm frustrated with him. I can't stand this much longer. TIA
Re: No romance, no interest!
I think that there is a lot more going on here than his fascination with his new toy. In a previous post, you have said that you are ready to start TTC in March. I think that his ambivalence towards sex is more of a fear of the responsibility of parenthood.
Take the baby talk off the table. You obviously won't be able to have a baby if he won't have sex with you. If he is able to be distracted from your marriage by a couple of pieces of electronics, you have some big problems that need to be fixed before too terribly long. You need to get your marriage back on track before you even think about a child.
I agree with DaringMiss. It sounds like there's more going on than just the ipod. It would be hard for a man to ignore his wife dressed up in lingerie straddling him...even if he didn't want to have sex, he could've responded a lot differently, like "Honey, I just don't feel like it tonight." It sounds like he's using the ipod as a way to escape or avoid confrontation with you.
Whatever it is, you guys need to figure it out. Try to talk to him before he gets his hands on his devices. Talk to him in bed when you guys first wake up, schedule a time with him for you guys to talk where no devices are allowed. If he is using his ipod, then don't talk to him.
Also, it's rude for him to bring his phone/ipod with him when you guys go out, esp. if you both decided they are not allowed. If it were me and he was playing with it while we were supposed to be spending time together, I'd leave the restaurant.
sometimes in the honeymoon couples discover they r not right for each other so rather then confrontation they stay together because they r in a state as to what to do.
so separate for a while to see where it leads and if that doesn't work figure out how to move on.
Both of u deserve better then what u have.
both of u feel trapped[ur reason is known but his unknown]
wish u the best and may u find the happiness u deserve. hope u stay together because maybe u had love before all this.
I hadn't even thought about this since he had seemed so excited originally to start TTC. Thank you for bringing this up. I'll try to talk to him about this and try to find out what's going on.
Well, I doubt this happened. Why? Because if he rejects that....he must be gay. Obviously he isn't because he has been with you before.
Okay, joking aside, it sounds like you want to have sex when YOU want to. There are alot of the letter "I"s in your paragraph. Sex happens when both want it. That's what keeps the fire lit. It's not that he doesn't love you, he might be depressed, stressed, tired, whatever. My wife and I have that problem sometimes. Just two nights ago, I worked a fifteen hour shift with no lunch break. I had to eat on the run. I worked overnight as well, and had to rely on the power of Monster to keep me awake. I came home, and she started getting touchy feely, and I had just turned on the ps3 to watch netflix to go to sleep. She got upset because she didn't get affection at that time. When she came home for lunch, she didn't eat anything...because we were busy. The time will come....just make sure its right for the both of you. Getting depressed because you feel inferior to an electronic device is just STUPID. Snap out of it!!! You are a great woman, or else you wouldn't care so much about him. He sees it too. Just give it time.
Well, I doubt this happened. Why? Because if he rejects that....he must be gay. Obviously he isn't because he has been with you before.
Okay, joking aside, it sounds like you want to have sex when YOU want to. There are alot of the letter "I"s in your paragraph. Sex happens when both want it. That's what keeps the fire lit. It's not that he doesn't love you, he might be depressed, stressed, tired, whatever. My wife and I have that problem sometimes. Just two nights ago, I worked a fifteen hour shift with no lunch break. I had to eat on the run. I worked overnight as well, and had to rely on the power of Monster to keep me awake. I came home, and she started getting touchy feely, and I had just turned on the ps3 to watch netflix to go to sleep. She got upset because she didn't get affection at that time. When she came home for lunch, she didn't eat anything...because we were busy. The time will come....just make sure its right for the both of you. Getting depressed because you feel inferior to an electronic device is just STUPID. Snap out of it!!! You are a great woman, or else you wouldn't care so much about him. He sees it too. Just give it time.