September 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Justified Annoyance? Longish

My best friend who was my MOH is kindda chapping my ass lately. DH and I think it's justified, but we're not sure if we're being overly critical.

5 years ago MOH got pregnant by her boyfriend at the time. While he stayed in both their lives and wanted to be a "family" she could care less about him. Fast forward 4 1/2 years and she's talking about potentially moving in with him and trying to make it work. My only question to her was "well, do you love him?". Her answer was that this may be her only chance at a family. Hmm

They ended up moving in together and seem to be making it work, so yay? When I mentioned late last year that I was having baby fever she mentioned that her and her boyfriend were thinking about getting married and having another kid. You can imagine the look on my face and the confusion that ensued. 

She comes to me last week and asks if I would plan her wedding for her. (I'm an event planner, whose not currently doing much work because I don't generally do weddings.) I agreed because she really did a lot for me during my wedding and I love her to death. Later in the conversation it comes out that they are planning the wedding for April because she is pregnant Indifferent And that their budget isn't very much because they really only want to make some money off this whole celebration. HmmIndifferent

So I'm kind of annoyed, but I'm not sure I'm 100% justified. Haaalllppp!!!

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Justified Annoyance? Longish

  • imageSiobhan615:

    My best friend who was my MOH is kindda chapping my ass lately. DH and I think it's justified, but we're not sure if we're being overly critical.

    5 years ago MOH got pregnant by her boyfriend at the time. While he stayed in both their lives and wanted to be a "family" she could care less about him. Fast forward 4 1/2 years and she's talking about potentially moving in with him and trying to make it work. My only question to her was "well, do you love him?". Her answer was that this may be her only chance at a familyHmm

    They ended up moving in together and seem to be making it work, so yay? When I mentioned late last year that I was having baby fever she mentioned that her and her boyfriend were thinking about getting married and having another kid. You can imagine the look on my face and the confusion that ensued. 

    She comes to me last week and asks if I would plan her wedding for her. (I'm an event planner, whose not currently doing much work because I don't generally do weddings.) I agreed because she really did a lot for me during my wedding and I love her to death. Later in the conversation it comes out that they are planning the wedding for April because she is pregnant Indifferent And that their budget isn't very much because they really only want to make some money off this whole celebration. HmmIndifferent

    So I'm kind of annoyed, but I'm not sure I'm 100% justified. Haaalllppp!!!

    the bolded parts are what really concern me

    imageAnniversary
  • First off the fact that you said "chapping my ass" is too funny!

    But on a serious note I would also be annoyed that they just want to make money off the wedding. I think really though if she is your best friend all you can do is support her. Even if you don't agree with all of that you just have to let her make her own decisions. And if the whole situation is really bothering you I would not help plan the wedding.

    Baby Jaxon born 8/18/2012 @ 9:53am, 7lb 2oz!! At 37 weeks 5 days due to Pre-E via C-section.Baby Birthday Ticker Tickerimageimage
  • Ditto Jen.  I'm not sure I'd wanna touch that one with a 10ft pole.  Tell her she could just JOP it and have a huge baby shower it if she's just concerned about the money and gifts.  (BTW, that's totally sarcastic.)  Tough situation b/c I wouldn't want my name associated with that money grubbing crap.  I get why you'd be a little less than ecstatic about the whole thing.
    Vacation

    Vacation
  • imageJenO24:
    imageSiobhan615:

    My best friend who was my MOH is kindda chapping my ass lately. DH and I think it's justified, but we're not sure if we're being overly critical.

    5 years ago MOH got pregnant by her boyfriend at the time. While he stayed in both their lives and wanted to be a "family" she could care less about him. Fast forward 4 1/2 years and she's talking about potentially moving in with him and trying to make it work. My only question to her was "well, do you love him?". Her answer was that this may be her only chance at a familyHmm

    They ended up moving in together and seem to be making it work, so yay? When I mentioned late last year that I was having baby fever she mentioned that her and her boyfriend were thinking about getting married and having another kid. You can imagine the look on my face and the confusion that ensued. 

    She comes to me last week and asks if I would plan her wedding for her. (I'm an event planner, whose not currently doing much work because I don't generally do weddings.) I agreed because she really did a lot for me during my wedding and I love her to death. Later in the conversation it comes out that they are planning the wedding for April because she is pregnant Indifferent And that their budget isn't very much because they really only want to make some money off this whole celebration. HmmIndifferent

    So I'm kind of annoyed, but I'm not sure I'm 100% justified. Haaalllppp!!!

    the bolded parts are what really concern me

    ITA with this.  Maybe you could suggest they get married on their lunch break to save money?Devil

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. PersonalMilestone
  • Those are the parts that highly concerned me too. I'm not really religious so I'm not sure I would say anything about the sanctity of marriage, but it should mean *something* more than just making money!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  • ITA with this.  Maybe you could suggest they get married on their lunch break to save money?Devil


     

    LOL! I just don't understand the whole situation and it honestly baffles me. I really don't want to associate myself with planning the wedding, but how do I back out now? She's been my best friend for almost 20 years and I don't want to lose her over this. I have tried to nicely express my concerns and she doesn't seem to be picking up on what I am getting at. So all I can really do at this point is support her and be there for her. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • How long has it been since they moved in together "making it work?"  While I'm sure they've kept in touch all this time, you always hear that moving in together and living with one another is the real test.  From your post it sounds like they are actually happy and are not having any problems you're aware of?  But that doesn't mean they are marriage material.  It sounds like they get along but if she can't say she loves him....maybe she sees him just as a friend.  Her "only chance at a family" sounds like she thinks she's just settling for him already, which can be an early sign that the relationship won't make it for the long run.  To me it sounds like she's got one kid with him, another kid on the way, she likes the idea of marriage to SOMEONE (not necessarily him) and probably figures her life with him will be better than her life without him.  If she's trying to make money on the wedding, she's not getting married for the right reasons.  I'd talk to her as her best friend and maybe say that you'd be honored to help her with her wedding but you want to make sure it's what she truly wants because you care about her happiness.

    "Imperfection is beauty; madness is genious. And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" ~ Marilyn Monroe <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
  • imagecitygirl17:

    How long has it been since they moved in together "making it work?"  While I'm sure they've kept in touch all this time, you always hear that moving in together and living with one another is the real test.  From your post it sounds like they are actually happy and are not having any problems you're aware of?  But that doesn't mean they are marriage material.  It sounds like they get along but if she can't say she loves him....maybe she sees him just as a friend.  Her "only chance at a family" sounds like she thinks she's just settling for him already, which can be an early sign that the relationship won't make it for the long run.  To me it sounds like she's got one kid with him, another kid on the way, she likes the idea of marriage to SOMEONE (not necessarily him) and probably figures her life with him will be better than her life without him.  If she's trying to make money on the wedding, she's not getting married for the right reasons.  I'd talk to her as her best friend and maybe say that you'd be honored to help her with her wedding but you want to make sure it's what she truly wants because you care about her happiness.

     All of this!

    They moved in right before our weddings, so sometime in August. Can't really remember when.  They're both laid back people, and work opposite schedules, so it may not have really hit them yet. They only really see each other a couple of hours a day. I'm not meaning to be an evil b!tch about any of this, I'm just concerned and I admit I did raise an eyebrow over some of her comments.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards