September 2008 Weddings
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Every once in a while I get sad...

Since my sister is 8 years older than me I always thought I'd be a young, fun aunt.  Well, she's 40 with no prospects so the chances of her having a child are pretty slim.

Then I had hopes for my husband's family, maybe they'd have lots of kids.  Nope, Pat's an only child.

Every once in a while I get sad that I won't ever get to be an Aunt and my kids won't have any cousins.  I think that's really, really sad. 

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Re: Every once in a while I get sad...

  • I understand being bummed; my brother always said he didn't want kids, so I always thought I had a shot of never being an aunt.

    You never know, though; the cousin I am closest to is my step-cousin from my uncle's second marriage (he had several kids with his first wife), so we weren't even cousins until I was almost a teenager.  I'm also very close with her mom, who is obviously my aunt by marriage but wasn't around yet when I was born.

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  • Well... I have a total of 3 cousins, 2 on my moms side and 1 on my dads. The one on my dads side is 4 years older than me and I haven't talked to him in at least 15 years. When we were growing up he used to go in a room and talk to himself and play with amine characters, hes now 32 and is letting a woman who is 45 live with him in his 2 bedroom 1 bath house with her 3 kids. Oh and he works at games stop part time.... none of us can figure it out. Oh and some how he receives assistance from the gov't b/c of these kids?

    My other two are 14 & 11 and are brats. In fact this year at Christmas they didn't even talk to M & I. They are very antisocial, and have been their whole life. Irritates me they are probably the closest thing I will have to nieces (even though they are my cousins). A couple of years ago when M & I were dating, snapped out of their anti-socialness they loved us and always wanted to spend the night with us and for us to take them to movies, which we did and have a good time. Apparently, they are going through some kind of "stage" b/c they have no desire to be around anyone on this side of the family.

    I'm in the same boat. I don't foresee my brother ever getting married, in fact he has said he never will and does not want children ever. (of course that may change... but I doubt it.) And well, my sil, she has to be able to take care of herself, and right now she can't do that, and unless something changes there is no chance of her getting pregnant. So yeah... now that I have read what I just wrote... your right it is sad :(

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  • I really missed out on having cousins, my aunt couldn't have children and my  mom was an only child.  I love that JT has so many cousins that he is so close with so I look forward to my brother and his sister having babies so I can be an auntie and have our future baby have lots of cousins and second cousins.
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  • Awe Jaime that is sad.  If I lived closer I would adopt you as Dylan's aunt. 
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  • I know the feeling. I'm an only child and it makes me sad that Brody will never have cousins on my side. He has two (soon to be three!!!) cousins on Keith's side.
     
    I'm ok with not being an aunt since Keith and I are splitting, but I'm just glad Brody will still have cousins.
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  • I have 1 sister who is no where near ready to have kids (she's in law school, not dating anyone) and Tim has 1 sister who will probably be pregnant this year, and a brother who's also no where near ready to have kids (senior in college, also not dating anyone).  So I the potential is there for nieces/nephews to spoil, but aside from SIL, they're far off.

    So I improvise - I'm already spoiling Amber's little Eli like he is my nephew. Smile

     

    What makes me sad is that all the not-yet conceived cousins in the family won't be close in age.  T has 11 cousins on his dad's side and all 12 of them are between the ages of 19 and 28 and it's always so fun getting together with them.  We'll probably have kids the same ages as SIL and her husband, but T's brother and my sister will have kids so much younger.  Which is OK too, I have a lot of really young cousins (I have 8 cousins who are under the age of 16), but I like the closeness of Tim and his cousins.

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  • I understand completely. All of DH's family is in TX, so while he is the oldest of 4, our kids won't grow up with their cousins. Then I am the baby in my family by 17 years.  My brother has a 4 year old, but by the time we get around to having kids he'll be around 7-8ish, also they don't plan on any more kids. So really while my kids will have cousins, they won't be around them much/close in age like I was with most of my cousins (on my mom's side...on my dad's side all my cousins are around my brother's age). I get sad thinking about it too.
  • My sister is no where even thinking about having kids, and most likely will never have one.  And if we have a kid, we'll most likely be one and one. I sometimes think it's selfish that we'll only have 1, but I know that my SIL will be TTC this summer, and that they would like more than 1, so hopefully our invisible maybe future kid will have some cousins. My other SIL I think would like a family so there is potential there too...

     Can you be fun aunt to your BFF in CA's kids:) 

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  • I completely understand Jaime.  I'm very lucky Alexi has a large family.  I consider Alexi's nephews my nephews, too, but I still get sad to think it will be a long time before I have any nieces or nephews on my side of the family.  My older brother would have to do it via adoption or surragacy and he isn't even in a serious relationship right now and I'm not even sure if he'd be allowed to adopt.  And I HOPE to goodness it's awhile before my younger siblings have babies as they are 17 and 15 (soon to be 16).
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  • That is sad Jaime- My SIL may never have children (she's 36 and has had a few losses and has pretty much settled on her dogs being her kids) and my brother/ sister are not in relationships so they are a ways off.

    I had cousins growing (closest in age was 4 yrs younger and then the rest were 10+ years older). Growing up my younger cousins and my family were a solid family, like brothers and sisters. My older cousins-- who all live in CA-- are so close that it's a bit nuts. We absolutely love each other and cannot get enough time together. I love that. (My dad raised them when they were little and before he got married & had us so that might be part of it).

  • I am sorry Jaime.

    My sister is one and done and my brother is no where near dating again let alone having kids!


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  • I know the feeling. While I do have a 'nephew' I know I will never get anymore. My bff had a baby, Logan, when we were 16. My brother and bff started dating when Logan was a little over 1. Logan's dad was never in his life (and recently passed away) so all Logan knows is my brother as his dad. My friend has already said she doesn't want anymore since Logan is now 8. I understand where she is coming from but part of me is still sad. I don't think of Logan as anything else but nephew, so I am thankful to have him!

     

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