Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hard to climax
I have a jealousy issue. I get jealous when women say they have great sex lives and that they climax during the actually act of intercourse. Why? Because since month three of our marriage I haven't been able to do it. We usually have sex twice a week but for some reason I haven't been able to climax during actual intercourse and it makes me wonder, "what gives?!" In fact, we usually end up using a vibrator to "finish me off". While sure a vibrator is great, I wonder what my deal is and why I can't climax when it seems like most women can. Am I too dependent on the vibrator? Do I just not know my body and what sets me off? I've tried going back to the positions that always seemed to work like a charm but that isn't quite cutting it. either. Any idea of what might help? I feel bad because while my husband is awesome I know it effects him too and he feels bad about it, despite his saying it's okay. Help! I want to have a big O again without the help of my "little friend".
Re: Hard to climax
According to Go Ask Alice! (I like numbers, so I Googled), only about 30% of women orgasm from penile-vaginal intercourse alone. I can't; we just end intercourse in a position that gives me vibrator access, or I finish after DH.
I'm not completely clear on your post, but if you used to be able to and now you can't, I wonder if you're stressing out about it too much. Have you tried just relaxing and enjoying the sex without worrying about the orgasm?
Like they say in AA, never judge your insides on someone else's outsides.
As the PP mentioned, most women don't climax from just the thrusting of their partner's penis. Seriously. Most women don't. The clitoris, a major source of a woman's pleasure, is just stupidly placed for stimulation during regular hetero intercourse.
Maybe all of your friends are members of the 30% or maybe some are fibbing...
Or maybe they are not being so rigid about when their orgasm occurs. Instead of viewing their contact in clearly defined stages (oral/manual is foreplay and penis in vagina is intercourse) they view it all as sex. So if they have their orgasm first from oral or manual or mechanical, they are happy. Or if their partner helps them finish after his orgasm, all is good. As long as everyone gets their ya-yas!
What about having your climax before penetration? With one orgasm under your belt, it might be easier for a second. What about getting really close to orgasm either manually or orally and then have him penetrate you? What about manual stimulation of your clitoris during penetration? What about using your vibrator on yourself while he is thrusting? He might find pleasure from the vibrations as well. A bunch of nesties were raving about a particular kind of vibrator about a week ago that you keep inside of you during intercourse.
Also, remember that many women become even more responsive as they enter their 30's. It may be a function of hormones or sexual experience or just comfort with their bodies and their partners.
So, right now, start a fun game with your partner...how many different ways can you be brought to orgasm? Call it Morgasms in 2011! At the same time, start working on the quality of his orgasms...there are things you guys can do to draw his pleasure out. Soap him up (or use hair conditioner) in the shower and see how many times you can get him close to coming without going over the edge. Try to give him two orgasms in one day - many guys say the second one is more intense. Approach this with a sense of adventure - testing the limits of your bodies - and you won't be caring by what exact means your orgasm occurred - just how many you had!