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Daycare drama update..
Oh boy....
So, we went to see our parents today - DH was going to watch the Steelers game with a friend so the plan was to go over to the ILs first, I would leave and go to my parents and he would talk to MIL about the daycare situation. Well, I'm upstairs feeding and she asks if we found a daycare yet and he kinda had to talk to her about it there. He told her that we are not driving her to her house and if she wants to look after her, she has to come to our house. We are paying the same amount for 3, 4 or 5 days, so we are not going to go out of our way to drive her there as it's not saving us money by doing so. My mum still wants to watch Lucie so is coming to us - that's fine, even though it's more worth our while to put her in daycare that day as we're paying for it anyway but we're not going to keep her from seeing her if she wants to. Well... I heard her get very upset, said she'd bought a pack n play, it was a waste of money, she's not coming to us, she's hurt blah blah blah. DH comes up and tells me she ran into the bathroom crying. I finished feeding Lucie and stayed up there for like 30 mins because I was afraid. When I went down she was in the bathroom still so I left.... it was incredibly awkward though his dad said he completely understood and it made sense. Nothing got resolved, I am just assuming she's not coming out here, which is fine. To me, it says a lot. If it was about their granddaughter and if they REALLY wanted to see her, they wouldn't have a problem with it. We live 45 mins away. I don't think i'm being selfish about this - please tell me if I am so I can wake up. I've not said they can't look after her - I've said if she wants to, she has to come here. I would refuse to drive her there for my mum as well so it's not like we've favored one over the other - my mum is just willing to come out here because she wants to see her.
I really hate her trying to make us feel bad for her thinking she's doing us a favor and now we're keeping her from her! Adding an extra 2 hours to my day to drive her there when I could take her to daycare that I'm already paying for is not her doing us a favor in the slightest... why can't she see that?!
Sorry for the essay!!
Re: Daycare drama update..
Don't let her push you guys around and stand up to her. She should not make you guys feel guilty. I totally understand why you asked if she could come to your house and I can't figure out why she doesn't understand. She will probably be a drama queen for a while, so don't let her get away with it. It is not like you guys are saying she can't see her, you are just asking that she come to your house because it will throw lucie off and adding 2 hours to your day is not good.
I'm so glad to hear that Arek explained things to her and didn't give in when she started crying!! You guys are present a united front on this, which is so important. I definitely don't think that you're being unreasonable here, especially since you're already paying for Lucie to stay in daycare all week. It just doesn't make sense to me that you'd have to take Lucie to her before work and pick her up after when it's so far out of your way.
Stick to your guns!! She'll eventually get over it. She just needs to see that being overly dramatic isn't going to get you to change your minds.
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
this... EXACTLY! Girl, you are not being stupid and you don't need to wake up! Sorry you have an MIL that has to be this way. Sadly, I know how you feel and it really stinks. Hang in there!
Wow your MIL has alot of nerve to me. You and Arek are the parents and you know exactly what is best for your child. If your MIL is not willing to bend then I would not worry about it. Sorry you are having to deal with this and she is not being helpful. But I agree stick to your guns.
oh myyyy!!
i cant believe she said the pack and play was a waste - it will be good for future visits - unless you never plan to visit her again, lol (i wouldnt judge you if you didnt
)
i dont think you're being unreasonable at all. you would be if you DEMANDED her to come to your house but since she wont come to you, you've found an alternative! i wouldnt want to driver 45 minutes out of the way before work/after work if there were other options either..... hang in there!!! :-/